Fun Facts Archives - Page 9 of 20 - I Hate Working In Retail

By

10 GUARANTEED WAYS TO SERIOUSLY ANGER YOUR BARISTA

Coffee shops function as surrogate offices. As places to meet people and jitter together while discussing poetry or something. But the more people get comfortable with their favorite cafe, the more they abuse the place, treating it like their living room sans the sweet bean bag chairs. And stuck playing Mom in that over-caffeinated living room is some poor barista who’s forced to be nice to your dumb ass because you provide tips. The following 10 behaviors are surefire ways to seriously piss off these hard-working bean-grinders… and, if you’re a culprit, you might be getting more than just coffee and milk in that double, soy half-caff latte.

1. Ordering like you’re at Starbucks
Outside of Starbucks, the word “grande” is reserved for burritos, and the word “venti” is baby talk. And if you order a macchiato at an authentic coffee shop, you’re not gonna get a jug of hot milk & coffee w/ enough caramel to make the spoon stick up. You’re getting a shot of espresso w/ a little milk in it. Go ahead and complain… you’ll go from pissing off the barista to making his day because you refuse to believe in a world outside of your bubble.
2. Leaving your dishes on the serving counter
You may be trying to be helpful, but by ignoring the gigantic bus tub with the “DISHES HERE” sign in bold, you’re creating a mess. The barista has to clear off the counter before finishing whatever drink he’s making, then scrub the counter down because you just soiled it.
3. Talking on your phone in line…
… or anywhere, really. If it’s an important call, go outside. It’s not. Nobody gives a crap about what you ate for breakfast. Nobody wants to hear you baby-talking to your dog on the answering machine. And nobody wants to wait extra-long for their drink because you’re too busy gabbing to pay attention and act like a human being.
4. Ordering overcomplicated milk combinations
Pick a milk and stick with it. Want soy? Fine. Want half & half? Fine. But don’t be the d-bag who orders 1/3 skim, 1/3 soy, 1/3 whole milk, then gets impatient when it takes extra time to make because you’re dominating the steamers… because you’re 100% a pain in the ass.
5. Ordering nothing but water and staying all day
You’ve seen this dude. He’ll park at a six-top table, grab a glass of water, then unload the contents of a backpack on all six spaces at the table, plug his computer into an outlet three tables away (creating a tripping hazard), then sit there all day drinking water like a camel. When he leaves, the table’s covered in empty glasses, torn paper, and crumbs from the snacks he packed from home. Somebody has to clean up after him. That person’s not very happy.
6. Dumping liquids in the trash
Once again ignoring the gigantic “DISHES HERE” sign, these folks think a trash bag is a sink. At the end of the shift, when baristas take out the trash as the last task of the evening, these bags’ll eventually rip (if they’re biodegradable bags, it’s almost guaranteed), leaving a trail of rank coffee and garbage streaked across the freshly cleaned floor. They’ll then spend every stroke of the mop trying to figure out who you are and plotting their revenge.
7. Bringing out your guitar
No. No no no. Never. No guitar, no ukulele, no violin, no nothing. Don’t even tap on the table. You are the worst person on the face of the Earth.
8. Tipping a nickel
Baristas do amazing things, typically for minimum wage. They wake you up in the morning. They toast your bagel. They pretend to like you. They make dainty floral designs on your foam. Yet some people see fit to tip them a nickel and, even worse, make sure the barista is looking as they put the change in the jar just so they can see how generous Daddy Warbucks really is. If this is you, don’t be surprised if that floral design soon becomes an “F U” design.
9. Imagining you have a real, non-customer-service relationship
Sometimes, a customer can forge a real amazing friendship w/ a barista. Maybe they’ll even hook up. But just because you see somebody every day at their place of work doesn’t mean you should get them a BFF locket. Or stalk them on Facebook. Or call them. Or spend your daily existence cornering them at the counter where they’re paid to be polite to you. If this person is your friend, they’ll give you their number.
10. Making a ghetto latte
We get it. Times are tough. But there’s nothing more obnoxious than ordering a shot of espresso, then requesting ice to put in it (after tipping that shiny new nickel), then going over to the cream and making yourself the poor-man’s latte, spilling cream and sugar all over the place in the process. You get a nasty, heavy-cream latte for a discounted price. The barista gets a crappy tip and the task of cleaning up your mess… right after he fills up the cream for the fifth time since you got there.
Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

By

13 Things That Happen When You Walk Into A Retail Store 10 Minutes Before Closing

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 3.04.48 PM
Employee Of The Month

1. You’re going to be bombarded with “are you finding everything alright?” or “can I help you find something specific?” because you better believe this is not the time for leisure shopping

2. I will give you a dirty look when you mess up the PERFECTLY folded t-shirt table that took me the entire night to finish while everyone else was riffling through them—thanks so much

3. Why must you try on 25 different shirts? And proceed to give your boyfriend a fashion show as to which he doesn’t care so you’re really just wasting everyone’s time here

4. No, we don’t have anything in back

5. If you ask me to get something off a manikin for you and you try it on but then leave it behind as you walk out when the mall closing announcement is going off—I will hate you

6. Better yet, if you want something off a mannequin and it is closing time—just buy it and return it tomorrow because that was a HUGE waste of my time

7. If I tell you we are closing in five minutes, that doesn’t mean you bring 50 dresses into a fitting room with your bestie and have a photo shoot

8. Please don’t question every price while making your final purchase—it’s all clearance and I promise you won’t spend more than $100

9. When we finally do complete the last transaction of the night, that doesn’t mean you can spot something on the way out and run back up to buy it—sorry drawers are gone, you should be too

10. “Let me know if you need help finding something, we’ll be closing in ten minutes” does not mean I am your personal shopper in the fitting room—I’ve got other things to be doing

11. Don’t ask me to call another store and ask if they have an item for you, because they’re closing too and you won’t get there in time.

12. At lease acknowledge you’re being annoying by walking through those doors as I’m trying to shut them or that you’re transaction has caused us to stay open an extra ten minutes—it’s much more likely I won’t want to kill you if you at least know that what you’re doing is rude. Ignorance is not cute

13. I promise you, we will be open tomorrow—no need to exhaust all of your options tonight

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com

Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

By

The Shit Only People Working In Retail Will Understand

If you’ve worked in retail for any amount of time you’ve probably developed a smoking habit, cynical attitude and lost hope in humanity. Dealing with rude customers, annoying managers, and endless shifts all for minimum wage should be recognised as a crime. These are the things that every retail worker has had to endure in their time.

26. Being expected to stop thieves.

You work on the register or in the stock room, but somehow you’re also expected to tackle a 6″5′ fleeing thief. Hire a security guard for Christ’s sake, that’s not in your job description.

4

25. Customers throwing money on the counter rather than placing it in your outstretched hand.

There is nothing more infuriating than this ignorant a**hole! Clearly seeing your hand waiting to accept the money, they drop their change on the counter and expect you to pick it up, one coin at a time.

f

24. When you have to tell a customer their card is declined.

The awkward face EVERY retail worker makes at this moment.

46875066

23. Customers making a mess.

You sometimes feel like they are doing this purely to piss you off!

giphy

22. Rude customers.

There is nothing worse than having to deal with an ignorant customer, struggling to maintain that fake smile on your face.

22jCQ27

21. Customers letting their spawn roam wild and free.

If you must go shopping with your complete family, for the love of God, please don’t bring them all up to the register to pay. Believe it or not, only one person is needed for this mighty task.

annoying-kids

20. Dealing with “cute” couple fights over who is paying.

Just give me the money. Go enact your strange financial foreplay somewhere else.

giphy

19. Wandering off in the middle of a transaction.

Someone sees cousin Mary enter the store and leaves during the transaction to catch up on the last thirty years.

giphy

18. Customers blaming you for stuff out of your control.

Someone freaks out at you because the price isn’t what it says on the label. They seem to feel like your job is also to MAKE the prices, but this is actually not the case. Find someone else to take out your frustration of being overcharged €2 on.

544239_348765011900240_436290346_n

17. The fake laugh and smile you’ve mastered.

Everybody has their fake retail smile. It gets harder and harder to maintain the longer you work there!

Sheldon-Cooper-smiling

16. People paying you with a mountain of change.

Yes, we don’t mind taking your change but within bloody reason. We don’t want to count 2000 1c coins when there’s a queue of 10 people behind you!

30-Trucks-of-Coins

15. The Customer is almost NEVER right!

Vehemently arguing that a product is overpriced, only for us to show you that you were actually looking at the completely wrong label, or you hadn’t realised that the price was in EURO, not pound sterling!

giphy

14. You and your friends work completely different shifts.

The little fun you used to have in work has been taken away from you by your manager. Now you’re stuck working with the employees your least compatible with, in order to ensure you’re never happy at work.

giphy

13. “Can I pay part card/part cash?”

WHY do you have to be so awkward? You really shouldn’t have to divide up a subtotal of €15 by cash and card.

fuck-the-fuck-off

12. Customers who move at an obnoxiously slow pace when there is a massive queue behind them.

Anybody who moves THAT slow clearly is doing it on purpose. I don’t care how old you are. Shift it sister!

giphy

11. A half hour break is simply not enough for the hell you have to put up with each day.

Time doesn’t seem to apply during working hours. 30 minutes break is a totally different amount of time than 30 minutes on the register.

b2lsoq

10. You agree to cover someone’s shift and immediately wish you could go back in time to change your decision.

“Why did I just do that?” The worst part is that the other person never returns the favour.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-18034-1381104650-21

9. A customer has mistaken you for a qualified therapist.

We don’t want to hear about your life struggles at 5pm on a Tuesday evening. Just take your purchases and head for the exit please.

giphy

8. People entering the shop and meandering around the store at closing time!

Are these people actually serious? Despite what they might think, we actually do have other things to do and would like to leave when our shift ends. If you want to wander aimlessly around the store at closing time, please pay me extra for allowing you to do do.

tumblr_mmwl07l8gx1rt9ukxo1_500

7. Trying to text without your boss seeing you.

Texting your friends under the register that you’ll need them to pick you up a copious amount of alcohol to forget about your job for the briefest of moments, without your boss catching you.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-11572-1381172380-9

6. Having to deal with drunk or high customers.

The worst of the worst. Slurring their words and gazing hoplessly into your eyes. The stink of alcohol pouring into your nostrils as you try your best to deal with their dire antics.

giphy

5. Telling a customer that there is in fact a queue in your store.

Yes, there is actually a line that you must enter, not just burst your way to the head of the register. And then they get pissy with you for telling them nicely.

ff

4. The terribly annoying retail jokes that we hear ALL the time.

You’ll immediately recognise these. “Do you take cash?” Haha good one! Yes, we do actually accept cash… Now hand it over.

giphy

3. Infuriating “witty” retorts from customers.

when an item doesn’t scan: “It must be free.” Or even worse. You’ve endured a 3 hour blitz of customers and are enjoying your first sip of water and the temporary silence, when you here: “Oh you must need something to do?!”

jj

2. You’re not above breaking your phone in order to avoid being called into work on your day off.

You’ve thought about it. Either turning your phone off or pinging it off a wall because you just give up. Nothing is worse than going into that place on your day off.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-24468-1381170458-29

1. Your outlook on life has completely changed after working in retail.

You’ve developed a cynical attitude and your hope for humanity is completely drained.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-9085-1380927084-8

 

Sourced from collegetimes.com

Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •