Things I Do As A Cashier To Get My Revenge
1. If you are buying any sort of cake, such as a Hostess or Little Debbie snack cake, I will most likely crush it a little as I’m putting it in your bag. Same goes with cigarettes. I will try to smash them a little as I set them down on the counter. Anything that is even remotely squeezable will be squeezed if you say or do something to annoy me.
2. I may also give out the crappiest money I have in my register to you. Dollar bills that are torn or have mysterious stains on them will find their way into your hand. Even sticky coins or Canadian currency may fall into your pocket when I’m giving you your change back. And what do I do to ensure that you won’t look down to see what kind of crap I’m handing back to you? I make sure to say something cute or funny so that you will be paying attention to me and not what I’m handing back to you.
Now I don’t do this to everyone. Just to the people that piss me off. And that usually includes:
a. People that take too long to get change out of their purse or pockets. I wish I could just yell out at random to people in line that they should have their money ready when they come to the register. I (and I’m sure the people behind you too) don’t want to wait twenty minutes for you to find your change. Have it ready, and get the hell out of my store.
b. Everyone makes mistakes, right? Well, I make mistakes many times mostly because I’m tired or if something else is on my mind. But I don’t want these mistakes pointed out to me, because I always catch them on my own and fix it right away. If you see on the register that the total for your candy bar comes to $45.11, don’t look at me and go ‘Woah! Um, I don’t think so!” in that bullshit attitude of yours. Because you know what? If I wanted to charge you $45 for a candy bar, I could. You just wouldn’t pay it. But my point is, unless I’m standing there waiting for my $45 payment from you for your Mr. Goodbar fun size snack bar, leave me alone when you see me trying to correct my mistake. Don’t stand there and point it out even more to me, because you will most likely receive one of the crappy items that I listed above.
c. Don’t yell out a question to me from 50 feet away when I’m ringing up another customer. You are not the most important person in the store. I don’t care if you are on fire, at least have the courtesy to wait your turn before you yell out to me. Asking ‘Where is your coffee?’ isn’t going to get my attention when I’m with someone else and that coffee is staring at you right in the face. I really hate when people do that. What makes you so important that you can yell out in a crowded place and expect to get a response? They must do it other places and get treated like royalty, but not at my store. If someone does that while I’m there, they get ignored. They will get ignored the whole time unless they come up to the register and wait their turn patiently in line.
d. Your kids run around too much. Listen parents, a convenience store is not the place to let your kids run wild while you do some ‘quick’ shopping. Sure, some kids are very adorable, and I’m not talking about those types of kids because most of the time they are shy and quiet. I’m talking about the kids that run everywhere, pick up everything and want to wipe their snot or sneeze on the products in my store. And what’s worse, if the parent isn’t completely ignoring them, they are yelling at them so loud that it hurts my ears. I hate when loud people hurt my ears. It’s much different than an ordinary loud sound. A loud voice yelling at a kid pierces through my brain because it’s that bad. People. Take control of your unruly children in the store. Pretend you are at your in-laws house and that all of you have to be on your best behavior. Sometimes I think that some of these parents need to grow up more than their kids do.
e. You insult me or my coworkers. That goes without saying. If you make fun of us or piss us off, something will happen to your stuff. You may not realize it, but I will know what I did and that makes me feel ten times better. So screw you. And go pick on someone your own size.
Believe me, I know that people have bad days. I’ve had a lot of them myself. But I don’t generally take it out on people I don’t know and that don’t deserve it. So why do it to a cashier? We’re here every day to serve you, we don’t get tipped like others do, yet we still have to deal with crappy people. Ever heard the saying ‘I don’t get paid enough for this?’ Well, it’s true in my line of work. There are some mean people out there that need to vent their frustrations everywhere. But, if that means that some asshole yells at me instead of going home and beating his wife or kids, then fine. Yell away, please.