October 2012 - I Hate Working In Retail


A day in the life of a retail manager

Welcome to my day from Hell!!!! 
This is a true account of today!!!!!
22:30 has now been replaced by a strong drink

6:00am :-Alarm clock goes off.  Snooze button hit immediately, as the staying up until 1am working really didn’t seem a great idea.

6:05am:- Snooze button hit again! If I set my Alarm for the latest possible time I can still get a full 25 minutes more sleep if I don’t shave or iron my shirt.

6:30am:- The latest time I can get up and still be in on time. But my bed is soooo warm and cosy. I can make up the time by driving a little bit faster.

6:45am: I’m finally up, dressed and ready to go in 5 Minutes.  Already regretting taking that extra 45 minutes in bed. Wife is giving me an ear ache for waking her up 4 times 2 hours before she needs to get up.
6:50am:- I’m on the road.  I need to do a 1 hour journey in 40 minutes………

6:55am:- Traffic Jam…

7:55am:- Arrive at store to disapproving looks from the staff stood outside in the rain for 25 minutes. Mrs X (the store terrorist) has clearly been working her magic!

8:05am:-Store opens (Late)!!!!

8:06am:- 1st complaint of the day for opening late

8:10am:- Message from the staff at the front of the store to say that my boss has just pulled up in the car park

8:11am:- Realisation that the work I stayed up to do has been left in the house next to the empty cup of cold coffee I drunk to prise your eyes open because i wasn’t quick enough to boil the kettle

10:00am:- Boss leaves my office. As he is leaving he speaks to Mrs X. She informs my boss I was late this morning in her own smug little way. Boss reminds me of my obligations and how this looks to my staff! THANKS MRS X

12:30pm I manage to eat a sandwich, drink a cup of coffee and answer my emails all within 10 minutes. I am lead to believe that this is my lunch break!!!!

13:00pm:- Conference Call…. 

13:30pm:- Gossip with fellow store managers as to how bad that conference call was and how demotivated we feel

14:00pm:- My evening manager phones in sick

14:05pm:- Argument with wife as I will not be leaving at 17:30

15:30pm:-All tills crash!!!!!!!!

17:00pm:- Tills finally come back online.

18:30pm:- Realisation that I should work more late shifts as your staff a s*!t

20:00pm:- Set alarms and home

21:00pm:-Arrive home to silence and hatred from wife

22:30pm:- Bed!!!! ready for another exciting day in retail


Tell me why i dont like mondays

I have just had the weekend off. Who is looking forward to going back into work Monday morning? Certainly not me……Sir Bob! tomorrow is dedicated to you


What Working in Retail at Christmas means to me

We are now at that point in time where our stores are beginning to look festive ready for the ‘mental’ season. I have already seen several chains with Christmas cards and tins of sweets on sale.  .  After 15 Years in the business I have come to expect certain things that will inevitably make me happy! but more than likely will make enrage me!  here are my top 10

1.  You will identify straight away the stock that you will be returning in January, as it is clearly not going to work. You almost want to tell the parents to avoid dissapointment, but instead you tell them you have bought one yourself.

2.  There will always be the drunken dad/husband that comes into your store 5 minutes before you are about to close on Christmas Eve, He will buy anything that is left on the shelves, even if he knows it will not get him out of the dog house.  He will be normally be your 1st customer at the doors on Boxing day returning what he bought. He will almost always be in the same clothes and smelling of stale beer, as he has spent the festive holiday on his mates couch  

3.  You will be able to sing every song of your Christmas CD word for word. You will find that you are singing them on your day off, and well into the new year. Your familly will think you are in the spirit of christmas but the reality is that you are thinking about killing Rudolph and all of his happy friends

4. You will have less staff than you had the year before, but your targets will be greater

5. There will almost defiantly be a be 2 or 3 key members of staff that will go off sick just when you are due to be visited by your boss and their boss

6.  Just when you think your about to smash your sales figures and cash in a fantastic bonus!  it will snow, and continue to snow until 6pm 24th December

7. A small child will accidentally hit your break glass and activate your fire alarms.  Normally Christmas week. You will smile under gritted teeth and tell them its ok. You will even think that it is a welcome respite to the 434rd playing of ‘let it snow’

8. The Christmas promotion that you spent the whole night setting up will be changed 3 or 4 days later.  Clearly the marketing department screwed up, but they will put it down to changing consumer needs.

9. The Christmas temporary staff that you took on will turn out to be thieves, the references you requested will come in from there previous employers in January 2013 stating exactly what you sacked them for

10. Your boss will come in on Christmas week to give you the support they promised, only for an ‘important phone call’ to come through meaning they have to jump back in the car 15 minutes after they have taken their jacket off.