December 2014 - I Hate Working In Retail


The Reasons I Hate Being a Cashier


The other night at work, a man came to me with 3 tubs of ice cream and a large carton of milk. I was planning on packing 2 of the ice cream tubs in one bag and the remaining ice cream in a separate bag with the milk. After packing the first bag, I started to pack the second and the man tells me that one bag is fine.”I don’t think they’ll fit, do you want me to double bag it?” I asked him, he said no and proceeded to snatch the other two products off of me and stuff them into the one bag. “Oh they don’t fit,” he says, “Can I have another bag?” I gave him another bag and he one puts one of the ice creams in there. I just thought, whatever, and let him do as he pleased. He paid, walked a bit into the mall, I start serving the next customer then I hear a bang and an angry, “Aarrrghh!!!” I looked over, and sure enough, the over-packed bag had broken. He storms back to my checkout, frowning at me and he says, “It broke!!!” Oh really??? I felt like saying. “It was too heavy for the bag!” he tells me. Thank you Captain Obvious! I just stayed silent and got another large bag to evenly distribute his groceries, and even double bagged the heavier one like I was going to do in the first place. “Yes, good idea,” he says to me, then he adds, “You should’ve done that in the first place. I hate hateHATE when people try and make me feel stupid so I said to him, “That’s what I wasgoing to do!” And off he goes, leaving me hoping that they’ll break on him again.

This event inspired me to list other things that annoy me about customers on the back of receipt paper for the rest of my shift. Here is what I came up with:

1. People who buy cigarettes. They’ll say the brand name quickly and expect me to be able to find them straight away. I’m not a smoker, nor are any of my friends, how am I supposed to know every single brand of cigarettes off by heart? It also annoys me when customers ask for blah blah blah in “eights” – what does that mean? I don’t know how many mg of tobacco are in each product (if that’s what it even means!) – I don’t understand why they can’t ask for the colour of the packet or the name that is actually written on the packet, instead of me having to ask every single time, “What colour is that?” Also, it is our store’s policy to ask anyone who looks under 25 for ID. I do this because, despite the stupid customers, I don’t want to lose my job. People get angry with me like it’s so much effort to take their ID out. If you’re under 25 you should have your ID ready. Expect to be asked! I’ve never asked someone and they were actually 25+, so I’ve been a pretty good judge of age so far. It annoys me even more when people are like, “What?! I don’t look 18 to you?!!” – they show me their ID and it turns out they’ve only been 18 for just over a week.

2. People who make a scene about having their bags checked. Another of our store’s policies is to check anyone’s bag if a loaf of bread could fit into it. I’ll ask to check these bags if people are buying groceries. If people are hurrying out through my checkout without buying anything, I’ll be more likely to check their bag, regardless of size. A lady came to the kiosk one day and asked me what our policy was, I told her what I just wrote. She says to me, “Well would you check thisbag???” and turns around to show a little backpack on her back. I say, “Probably not, but if you didn’t purchase anything I might.” She says, “Well I just got made to feel like a complete FOOL for not presenting my bag for inspection.” I said, “I’m sorry you felt that way, but it is store policy.” She just repeated the same sentence. I just looked at her. What am I supposed to do about it? Big deal! Why would you make such an issue about bag checking if you had nothing to hide? Luckily, my manager interrupted and said she’d talk to the staff member about it. Turns out, she just went over to the guy and told him that he did the right thing but to make it look like she was lecturing him. Ha. Also, if we ask to check someone’s bags and they say no, then we just let them go. If this lady thought it was such a big deal, she should’ve just said, “No, you may not check my bag,” and gone on with her life.

3. Impatient customers. Of course, this is unavoidable because some people are just born rude and I guess, working in customer service, I have to expect that (even though it’s definitely not necessary). My scan rate (items I can scan per hour) is above average in the store, so I don’t usually get customers complaining about me taking too long. However, when I’m working in the kiosk, I have to serve people with trolleys of groceries and also the front desk (people who are buying cigarettes, phone credit, lighters, etc. or have queries – I usually refer them straight to supervisors for this). Usually, I will serve people at the front as soon as I have finished ringing up a load of groceries. I hate it when I say to customers on the side, “Sorry, I’ll just be a second,” or “Do you mind if I just take care of the customers out the front?” and they just look at me like Well, no, that’s not okay.Gosh, it takes me a maximum of a minute to put through someone’s cigarettes or something, it’s not that much to ask! It works the other way though, occasionally I will be in the middle of serving someone on the side when I hear someone tapping on the front desk. That is so rude!! What on earth is wrong with people? Chances are, the people on the side were there first, I’m not going to just ignore customers. Even someone who has 100 odd items will only take 4 or 5 minutes maximum for me to put through. BE PATIENT, PEOPLE.

4. Customers who blame me for the prices of products. Regularly, I’ll get customers who will comment on the increase in price of a product. Out of the people who comment on the more expensive prices, over half of them will say it in a tone as if they’re almost blaming me for the price. I do not understand where their logic is in this, at all. How can they think that I, the girl scanning through their groceries and putting them in bags, am somehow responsible for setting the prices in a nation-wide supermarket?! Some people!

5. People who interrupt my awesome packing skills. I think I’m good at packing bags. What an amazing skill, am I right? Ha. People who “throw off my groove” when I’m packing said bags really, really annoy me. Some people pick up items and hand each and every one to me – there is a conveyor belt there for a reason!! There is no reason to pick up items when you have already placed them on the belt, they move towards me themselves – magic! I also (like most other checkout operators, I’m sure) group similar items together and pack them in bags according to this. It annoys me so much when I put aside an item while I’m waiting for another one to come along and then the customer grabs it and shoves it into another bag. By the time the item I was planning to pair it with comes along, there is nothing for it to go with, so I have to waste a plastic bag for one measly item when it could have gone with a couple of things that the customer just took and put elsewhere. Why would they do that? Obviously I’m not just going to leave items on the side, I’m clearly planning to pack them eventually – LET ME DO MY JOB! With that said, I certainly don’t mind when people offer to pack their bags themselves (this happens with reusable bags occasionally), but customers should choose at the beginning. If they’re going to pack, then they’re welcome to, but if they allow me to pack for them, then they should let me pack the whole freaking thing!

6. People who eat products that need to be weighed. I don’t mind if people eat chocolates or start drinking drinks and then hand me the half-eaten or empty packaging to scan. It’s a bit gross, but it’s fine, because the price doesn’t change once they start eating. However, sometimes I get incredible dense customers who have eaten some or all of a fresh produce item (e.g. nuts, fruit, vegetables) – these products are generally charged by the kilogram, how am I supposed to determine the price if the customer has eaten it?! Usually, if they’ve eaten an apple or something, I’ll find the heaviest apple they have left and weigh it twice. That’ll teach them! Ha.

7. Customers who don’t listen. This mainly happens when I ask people if they have FlyBuys (a supermarket points-based rewards card) and they don’t even reply. Sometimes I’ll ask again and it turns out they were just being rude (see no. 10) but other times they still won’t reply. I take this as a no, they don’t have a FlyBuys card and process their payment. The receipt begins printing which means the order and their transaction is over, it is now that these people who weren’t listening to me say, “Can you put through my FlyBuys?” and everytime, I calmly tell them, “No, sorry, it’s too late. If you go to the service desk they can add your points on,” when inside I’m thinking, “I ALREADY ASKED YOU TWICE AND YOU JUST WEREN’T LISTENING!!!! ^$#(&%*(&$(!” Then, usually, the customer will get stroppy withme. Such is life!

8. People who make exchanging money difficult. You wouldn’t think that paying for groceries/receiving change is really that hard. Some customers certainly prove me wrong though. When I state the price, customers often count their change onto the moving conveyor belt. What is wrong with this, you ask? Well the fact is, it moves!! When the change reaches the end, it falls down underneath onto the floor. Many people really don’t have any common sense. Also, when I have my hand out when I say the price, that means to count the money into my hand! Not onto the conveyor belt. No! Contrarily, other customers will almost grab my hand when they give me the money. Or they’ll kind of stroke my hand. This is a big no! Can you say “creepy”?

9. Customers who point out each item that is reduced. When I first scan products with reduced stickers on them, the price doesn’t appear straight away. I have to manually put it in. On the screen the customer sees, the original price comes up first then, once I type it in, the reduced price appears. Some customers deem it necessary to tell me it’s reduced before I even scan it, yes, I can see that. Other’s quickly say, “That’s reduced!” when I haven’t finished typing in the price yet, “Yes, I just have to type it in…” Now, if that’s not irritating enough, there are some other customers who point out each and every item with a reduced sticker on it – even after I tell them the first time that I need to type it in. After a full load of groceries, with multiple reduced items (because most customers who display this annoying behaviour are in fact cheapskates) I just feel like screaming at them. Aaaaargh!!

10. Rude people. My least favourite kind of people. I am polite to everyone, I don’t appreciate people who are rude to me before I’ve even said a word. I always ask people how they are and it’s actually disgusting how many people just grunt or completely ignore me. It’s so rude!! I can’t stand rudeness. It’s really not that hard to be courteous!

…And that concludes my extremely long rant. Please, if you do any of these things I urge you to change your ways now. Today is a good time to start!

Sourced from


16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

1. “Do you work here?”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

Well I AM wearing a uniform AND a name tag AND I’m standing behind a register / stocking shelves. So yes, yes I do.

2. “You don’t have it?! Fine. I’m going to Coles / Woolworths / Aldi / some other competitor.”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing
Castlerock Records

Also applicable: “I can get that cheaper somewhere else.”

3. “Hey we’re really busy can you come back from your lunch break early.”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing
Morgan Creek Productions

***I would loooooooooove to****

4. “You’ve been working there HOW long?!”

"You've been working there HOW long?!"

Universal Pictures


5. “The customer is always right.”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

But what if they’re wrong?

6. “I know you’re closing but I’ll only be a second!”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

I do not care.

7. “Have a good weekend!”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

I work weekends.

8. “Can’t you just look it up on your computer???!”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing
Warner Bros.

That’s not how it works.

9. “Can you do this any cheaper?”




Oh yeah! Let me just call up Mr.Woolworths or Mr.Coles and get them to do me a solid by making everything cheaper for you in your crazy fairyland fantasy.

10. “Where’s the bathroom?”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

We either don’t have one, or there are signs LITERALLY EVERYWHERE telling you where they are.

11. “Is that your real name?”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing
Warner Bros.

Yes. And it’s on my nametag. Because it’s my name. That’s how it works.

12. “It says I have to swipe my card again…Should I swipe again?”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing


13. “How do you keep that smile on ALL DAY!?”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

14. “Why don’t you have this?”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

Because you want it. That’s why.

15. “What’dya mean I need the coupon? I don’t have the coupon!”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

Well then.
The Deal.

16. “Y’know the .99 is just a trick. They say $15.99 but really you’re paying $16.”

16 Things All Woolworths / Coles Workers Hate Hearing

Yes. I know. Everyone knows.

Sourced from


Cashier in a Convience Store Song by Atmosphere

(slug arguing with himself)
Get up man, wake up
What time is it man?
Yo, its late
What time is it?
Don’t worry about it, its late
Fuck man, this dirty motherfuckers gonna yell at at me again?
Just go, just go
I’m sick of this job man
Don’t forget your keys
I should call in sick, no no, I should call in dead
Dude you need this job
Never have to see this place again
What are you talking about?
Slug can’t come in hes dead
Dude you need this job, dude
Late for work (fuck)
Wearing a wrinkled shirt (fuck)
Id love to set this place on fire
Let the sprinkles work
Then thatd be me getting fired
Instead ill get stoned
Arrive late
And pretend that I’m tired
Do you need a book of matches with those?
Would you like a bag?
Thank you, have a nice day, I hope you fuckers gag
I pity the fool that pays twice the price for our shit
They could save cash and take their lazy ass to the super market
Theres that chick from last month
Remember the one that couldn’t figure out
Which side to pump her gas from
Shes coming in, I’ve got a grin
Cause tonights the night
Yo toots, my nametag might be crooked
But your looking alright
We all pulling a hard days labor
Gas, milk, soda, bread, porno mags, and newspapers
Back here got the condoms
Over the counter drugs
Listerine for the drunks, robotusin for the gutter punks
And everyday I look into that mirror
I’m trying to see myself a little bit clearer
I never notice any progress
Although ill be here again to look tomorrow
I’m just a cashier in a convience store
Selling cigarettes and beer between cleaning floors
I’ve seen it all without leaving this counter place
People, freaks, demons and creatures from outer space
And everyday I show up and sell you your soul
We both inch a little closer to where we’re trying to go
You only land for a moment then resume the race
People, freaks, demons and creatures from outer space
And I’ve got your pass to paradise
You can escape all these other parasites
With just one buck, a little luck, you might, yah right
I suggest you go home and check your fahrenheit
You aint gonna get rich
Your stuck here just like me
The only difference is your drug is the lottery
The lotto got your mind sometimes your last dime
Use your fingernails to scratch off 3 of a kind
And I’ve got your pass to paradise
And id love to ask you babe wheres your life
Wonder how you can be so high and still be scared of heights
But I stop cause the customers always right (ya right)
Must take a lunch break before I snap on the next cat
That doesn’t know what they need
Gimmie a cigarette, a poison apple, I don’t care
Id be happy to just go outside and choke on the seeds
I’m just a cashier in a convience store
Selling cigarettes and beer between cleaning floors
I’ve seen it all without leaving this counter place
People, freaks, demons and creatures from outer space
And everyday I show up and sell you your soul
We both inch a little closer to where we’re trying to go
You only land for a moment then resume the race
People, freaks, demons and creatures from outer space
Seems like everything happens on the retail night shift
Been robbed, had fights, caught fools trying to shop lift
One time some kid got shot in the parking lot
And the cops only come to surround the coffee pot
After bars close, freaks come out the wood work
All drunk and dumb, trying to play their game
Takes patience to deal with iniebriated jerks
But I smile cause theyre the easiest ones to short change
The runners trade me dime bags for squares
The crack heads offer blowjobs for beers
I watch the clock in my head tick tock so slow
And wait for the time to get the fuck out of here
White collar, blue collar, don’t care, gimmie a dollar
Either way its all the same for only seven something an hour
Your all a bunch of monsters, you live in hell
Just waiting for these products to go on sale
The best customers are the ones that’s just passing through
Asking for directions, gassing up with fuel
I swear to god some day I’m gonna live that way
With no one to answer to and no more dues to pay
I hate you but I love you
Don’t know what I think of you
I can’t seem to shake you from my life
Just pay me and save me
Before you drive me crazy
Don’t know if I can take another night

Sourced from