annoying customers Archives - I Hate Working In Retail


The 36 People You See at Every Supermarket


Going to a supermarket in this day and age can be a confusing endeavor — all manner of new foods and food groups keep popping up to confuse you, and the women are impervious to flirtation (usually). Add to this the fact that the aisles are almost always filled with a cast of characters that rivals the best-written sitcoms, and you’ve got a recipe for mass hysteria. So, to help you navigate more efficiently from the greeter to the totally unpopulated self-checkout line, here’s a list of all the people you’ll see during your next visit.


Twenty-Something Suddenly Realizing He Can Eat Cereal for Every Meal
You can usually find him haphazardly emptying out the other contents of his cart to make room for more Cookie Crisp, and then talking to the cashier about his “kids”.

Produce Section Curator
The way he arranges the kiwis might be nice to look at, but it needs a more solid foundation. Most likely a frustrated art school dropout/graduate.

Obsessive Coupon Clipper
Usually spends a couple hours before shopping aggressively leafing through three or four books of coupons. She’s so into savings that she’ll probably end up buying three boxes of string cheese even though it makes her really gassy. But oh the savings!

Old Lady Buying a Ton of Cigarettes
She’s reached the 14-item limit for the express line, but all of the things she’s buying have the Surgeon General’s warning label on them. She’s probably seen more than a few Surgeons General come and go.

Mute Clerk
Somehow, this grumpy-faced cashier managed to check out your entire order, take your card for payment, and ask you whether you wanted paper or plastic — all without actually opening his mouth… except to breathe loudly.

Person Actually Signing Up for the Rewards Program
There is probably a better time than this to join their members-only 1%-off club than during a rush while there’s only one lane open. And I’m pretty sure the cashier’s lame pitch was intended to be a joke.


Paralyzed Ice Cream Browser
The ice cream selection is pretty huge, we’ll admit, but generally things are frozen inside of the display case instead of in front of it. OOH, FREEZER BURN!

Overly Chatty Clerk
He has a joke for everything you’re buying, forcing you to debate ditching that box of Tucks Medicated Pads in the candy rack before he gets to them.

Disinterested Teenage Stock Boy
Probably spends a lot of time spacing out on the loading dock out back.

Disinterested Middle-Aged Stock Boy
Definitely spends a lot of time spacing out on the loading dock out back, talking about B.O.C.’s back catalog.

Grumpy Butcher
No person in the entire supermarket is more terrifying than this cleaver-wielding fellow, whose enthusiasm for chopping meats (and nothing else) makes your request for a quarter-pound of extra-thin turkey seem pretty trivial.

Free Sample Snatcher
This person is taking flagrant advantage of the courtesy of the supermarket by actually subsisting on free samples. Probably has a clandestine lair inside a hollowed-out beer display, full of spent toothpicks. Comes back to the counter several times during the day wearing different clothes.

Definitely-on-a-Juice-Cleanse Girl
Her cart is filled with fruits, vegetables, juice, and nothing else. The air around her is filled with smugness. Her eyes are filled with disdain for your Cheetos. Soon you will be filled with Cheetos, and so will her thoughts.
Express Lane Disregarder 
Either he: a) can’t count, in which case we lament the state of this nation’s schools, or b) willfully and flagrantly disregards supermarket law, in which case we will bring this up with… never mind.
Express Lane Mussolini
You’d think this guy works for the supermarket, given his sensitivity to the efficiency of foot traffic in the lane area. But he doesn’t. That doesn’t stop him from yelling at lots of people, though.
Lonely Sushi Counter Dude 
All his sushi chef friends got jobs at big restaurants, and here he is in Super Foodtown. You are rightfully suspicious of his Philadelphia roll.
Fruit Masseuse 
We understand that you’ve probably read a bunch of articles about how to select the best peaches, but that doesn’t mean you have to gently caress/stroke/listen to every one in the pile. Also, you’re ruining the Produce Section Curator’s finest work.
Old Person Who Needs Help
This woman has top-shelf tastes, which is pretty unfortunate since she needs a low-riding scooter to get around. If you’re walking near her, chances are she’ll put on a sweet act and appeal to your strapping nature to get that jar of gourmet gherkins she longs for.
Woman Who’s Given Up Trying to Control Her Kids
How many kids does this woman have?! They’ve established an anarchic commune in the bread aisle while she slowly peruses the whole-wheat options, and they aren’t letting anyone through unscathed. There is a trail of smashed Wonder Bread in her wake.
Produce Sneezer
Right next to the nectarines?! Who the hell is allergic to nectarines?!
Broken Scanner Dad 
Everyone’s Dad has made the joke at one point or another that if an item doesn’t scan at the register, it’s free. They can never be stopped from doing this.
Deli Counter Number Ignoramus
Jostling through the hordes at the deli counter to assert themselves at the sneeze guard, this person has no idea that there is a clearly maintained order system in place via the ticket machine. He’ll smile and be apologetic when he finally learns about the system, but there is a quiet, seething rage underneath. Probably a sociopath.
Cart Abandoner
Whose cart is this? It’s loaded with stuff, and the aisle is completely deserted. Did the owner suddenly transcend the need for bodily nourishment? So many questions.
Person Paying with a Check
The bane of every cashier’s existence is a living nightmare if you’re behind them in checkout. This person will probably go home and watch The Cable Guy on VHS completely unironically. Usually followed in line by the Extremely Loud Sigher.
Extremely Loud Sigher
See above.
Self-Checkout Attempter 
This person is most likely older and considers himself very brave and “with it” for trying to use the self-checkout. He will fail, both because the self-checkout is terrible and because he is buying nothing but produce.
Teenager Buying Condoms
Cannot possibly be older than 14. Extremely nervous-looking. Might be doing this on a dare.
Clerk Making Jokes About Condoms
You’re making everyone nervous with your supposed good-natured ribbing about ribbing of another kind. And you already cost somebody hemorrhoid relief earlier.
Confused Husband
Undisputedly the sweatiest inhabitant of the supermarket, this unfortunate soul has no idea which “non-dairy milk” his wife meant when she scribbled it on the list, and is calling up all of his family members to find out whether she’s more of a soy or an almond person, when in actuality she meant coconut. He is unavoidably doomed.
Assuredly Stoned Guy Checking Out the Chips 
He was there when you got to the supermarket, and he’ll be there when you leave.
Small Family with Three Full Shopping Carts
Wait, was there an emergency alert we’re unaware of? If so, this family’s bunker’s gonna be incredibly well-stocked. Become good friends with them.
Depressing Haul Guy 
A cursory glance into his basket reveals: a six-pack of cheap beer, a box of mini powdered donuts, some Stouffer’s Meals for One, an extension cord, and a pulp romance novel.
Expired Coupon Fanatic
Despite the fact that her coupon is from 2007, she’s insistent that it still be honored, and is thus holding up the entire line by berating the cashier.
Parents Using Kids to Get Extra Items While They’re in Line
Oh, would you look at that! They “realized” that they “forgot” certain items on their list right when they were about to check out, so they’ve sent their kids around the supermarket to collect the missing items. The kids will return with the wrong ones and be sent out again, while everyone behind them invariably gets turned into Extremely Loud Sighers.
He’s here?! Love that guy!
Sourced from


The 15 Types Of Customers All Retail Staff Hate

1. The “My mother never taught me to clean up after myself”

The "My mother never taught me to clean up after myself"

This is a common occurrence if you work retail. Even the smartest and most professional of people somehow forget how to take the clothes they don’t want, fold them or put them on a hanger and bring them to the nearest employee. We aren’t your mothers and it isn’t our job to pick up after you!!! It is frustrating and yes we judge you!!!

2. The “That poopy diaper smell is not coming from my baby”

The "That poopy diaper smell is not coming from my baby"

We all love mothers and we all love babies. When you work retail this combination can be interesting. You see a mother pushing a stroller, you go over to tell her how cute her perfect child is and then it hits you….that smell that is like nothing you have ever smelt before. You try your hardest to not react or gag, you let her know to call you over if she needs any assistance and then you run towards the fresh air!!

3. The “I don’t have my receipt but I would like a full refund”

The "I don't have my receipt but I would like a full refund"

Ok so here’s a not so secret secret…if you look directly on your receipt it will tell you exactly what the refund policy is. If for some reason your receipt is the ONLY one in the world that doesn’t have it then all you need to do is ask as we are all well versed in our policies. If you do NOT have a receipt, you will NOT get a full refund. You may get an exchange or a store credit. You can argue as much as you want and even try to blame us for not giving you a receipt in the first place which we all know is a lie. Our hands are tied when it comes to this policy so please keep your receipts!!!

4. The “Well the store is already messy so they wont notice if I just throw these shoes on the floor”

The "Well the store is already messy so they wont notice if I just throw these shoes on the floor"

Part of a retail associates job is to maintain the store as well as provide superior customer service and to run back and forth from the fitting room getting you sizes. We understand that it is not the customers job to do anything whilst in the store HOWEVER this also means that we would appreciate it if you DIDN’T add to the mess. Most likely everyone is busy providing that superior customer service I previously mentioned and we will eventually get to the mess so do us a favour and just put the item back where it belongs. Thank you!

5. The “Well this public fitting room seems like a perfect place to have sex”

The "Well this public fitting room seems like a perfect place to have sex"

Yes you read that right. There are actually people out there that think this is an awesome idea. I mean I’m all for being adventurous BUT I don’t want to see it. If we notice this we are meant to approach the room (pretending we have no idea what is happening) and ask if you need any assistance or if we can get you a different size. We are of course referring to clothing when we ask these questions so my advice is to realize you have been caught stop what you are doing and do the walk of shame right out of the store. Oh and we will tell everyone we know about this!!

6. The ” All the stores are closing but I’m not done yet”

The " All the stores are closing but I'm not done yet"

Yeah we hate these people. Once the store is closed we still have another hour where we have to clean the store and restock so when you walk in as we are closing you are making our already long and tiring day worse. Please don’t be this person!!!

7. The “I’m the customer and I’m always right”

The "I'm the customer and I'm always right"

The majority of sales associates know the policies and procedures quite well and will try their best to assist you with all of your questions. We are not against you, we do not make the rules so if we do everything we can to help you and you are still not satisfied then we are sorry but yelling at us and asking for our manager is not gonna make you any happier!!

8. The “Why are you playing Christmas music in October”

The "Why are you playing Christmas music in October"

TRUST ME we are as unhappy as you are about this. The difference is we have to hear these songs everyday for 3 months. We don’t control what music is played or how annoying the songs are. So in this situation please have some pity for us and be an awesome customer!

9. The ” It’s Christmas eve and I don’t understand why you don’t have the size I want”

The " It's Christmas eve and I don't understand why you don't have the size I want"

Besides back to school this is the worst time of year. The store most likely looks like a bulldozer has driven right through it and basically our job is crowd control. You will not find what you are looking for because most likely someone has already purchased it weeks before. Here is my advice… don’t wait until the day before ANY holiday to go shopping because you will not find exactly what you want!!!

10. The “Its Boxing day: why are the lines so long and why isn’t everything 90% off?”

The "Its Boxing day: why are the lines so long and why isn't everything 90% off?"

We don’t have the answer to this. We don’t make the prices or the rules. Boxing day sales last a full week so you don’t need to be waiting outside the door before the store even opens. Again our job during this crazy week is basically crowd control so please be patient!!!

11. The “What do you mean I have to pay for the more expensive one and get the cheaper one for free?”

The "What do you mean I have to pay for the more expensive one and get the cheaper one for free?"

We weren’t born yesterday and we do posses common sense so you will not win this argument however listening to you justify your crazy idea is super entertaining so we will listen to everything you have to say!

12. The “No I haven’t worn these items and I would like to return them”

The "No I haven't worn these items and I would like to return them"

Ummmm unless you think I am blind we BOTH know that you wore the item. Avoiding eye contact with me when you tell me you never wore them doesn’t make me believe you more!!! You aren’t going to get your money back but at least be honest!

13. The “I would like to return this item that I bought at another store”

The "I would like to return this item that I bought at another store"

Most of the time this is just a common mistake and is really funny but there are actually people out there that will argue with you even though the name of the store on the tag or receipt is very different from the store you are trying to return it to!!

14. The “Do you have this in a size 2?”

The "Do you have this in a size 2?"

Ok it’s very awkward when this happens. We do have a size 2 but it wont fit you but I now have to find a polite way to let you know this. I would rather deal with fitting room sexers then deal with this. Please know your size and be realistic!!!

15. The “Do you have anything smaller than a size zero?”

The "Do you have anything smaller than a size zero?"

No we don’t! We have kids sizes if you would like to wear a t-shirt with a unicorn holding balloons on it.

Sourced from


The 5 most annoying types of Customer you will ever meet!

customer demotivational poster image search results
 Which ones have you encountered this week???

The Speedy Shopper

It’s almost starting time. You’ve just had your morning department briefing and you notice the security gates being unlocked and opened as you rush to prepare your department for customers. After you get everything up and running you wait in anticipation for your first customers and feel prepared for your day- OR SO YOU THOUGHT. Unfortunately the first customer you meet is extremely impatient and in a serious rush.
Your store has only been open for 2 minutes but according to this annoying customer, the store opened 30 minutes ago when he got out of his car; he just couldn’t get in yet. This customer is either late for work, school, or an appointment with himself, but it’s not his problem- it’s yours. He’s like an annoying drill sergeant; beating you over the head with demands and barking orders down at you until you ball up in a corner, suffering from a case of shell shock. The Speedy shopper expects you to move at his pace the pace of a crack head on 12 red bulls. Annoying as they are, the Speedy Shopper will be gone with the flash and is the least of your worries for this day.

The Overseer

You’ve managed to mow through the first wave of customers and begin to feel that the damage is done when you are approached by a very distinguished and professional patron. This customer’s appearance commands respect, and you get to thinking “finally, someone with class.” The customer asks for your assistance and assures that he’ll only take a small amount of your time- BEWARE; you’ve been smitten by the allure of the Overseer.
There were a few telltale signs that you were dealing with an annoying customer; the patronizing voice, condescending looks, and superior posture should have been warnings, but you’ve mistaken these characteristics for professionalism. You soon find out that the feelings of professionalism are one sided and that the Overseer has no faith in you at all. He follows you around, watches your every move, and questions everything you do. This passive aggressive customer wants things done his way and distrusts that you are competent enough to get the job done without his assistance. The annoying Overseer leaves you with a feeling that your life has been one big disappointment after another.

The VIP Customer

The clock just struck BUSY TIME!!! in your store. Droves of customers burst through the doors and make a bee-line to your department with questions, comments, and demanding merchandise. You try your best to assist everyone as much as you can and begin to wonder where your coworkers vanished to, when you hear an impatient and annoying voice sound out from the crowd. “Are you… busy?” asks the VIP Customer. “No”, you respond; “The flocks of people surrounding me are my disciples and my name is Jesus Christ.”
The VIP Customer is impatient, curt, and has an over inflated sense of self worth. This customer grows visibly agitated when neglected for the slightest amount of time and sees no problem with jumping ahead of everyone that was waiting patiently before they got there. When serving a VIP Customer you MAY NOT look at, assist, or answer any other customer’s questions- You no longer work for the store, you work for them.

The “Expert” Friend

After taking a “15”, you get back on the sales floor and notice two customers standing together in your department. One of the customers seems glossy eyed and anxious; the other appears cold and reserved. While helping the customers so you thought you notice that the anxious customer is the only one talking- WAIT FOR IT… the other customer will open up like a flood gate in just a moment.
What you have failed to realize is that you’ve only been helping one customer; the other is just an “Expert” Friend. Technically, the “Expert” Friend isn’t really a customer but is definitely annoying. He believes that he’s learned more about your profession in his free time; than you’ve learned working at the store. His hobby trumps your occupation. He is completely misguided but you won’t be able to prove this to the customer well, you shouldn’t. To the customer, the “Expert” Friend knows all the inside information about your field, he can weed through all of the sales BS, and knows all the best deals. The “Expert” Friend is annoying in person but is even more annoying when phoned in. When this happens, you’re expected to stop everything that you’re doing in store and talk to him via the customer’s personal cell phone. He is egotistical, cocky, and completely full of it. Saying a few technical terms will make him uncomfortable and render him helpless.

The Late Lingerer

Ahhh, the day is finally coming to an end. The store is settling down and you notice that in just 5 minutes you can get back to your “kick ass” life. You’ve made it through the annoying customers, micromanagers, and quirky coworkers, but it doesn’t matter anymore- this day is almost over and that’s all that counts. You are overcome with a feeling of accomplishment and anticipate bringing this day to an end and finally punching out, when you notice something wrong. From afar you sense a blurry figure moving towards the glass entrance doors from the outside. THIS CAN’T BE!?!? You rub your eyes in hopes that you are mistaken and take another look, only to have your worse fears confirmed; it’s another customer. No need to fear though, this is obviously a busy person in a rush; why else would he come in so late? He’ll be in and out in no time- WRONG!!
Unbeknownst to you, you’ve just encountered a Late Lingerer. These annoying customers have no concept of time and see the end of the day as an opportunity to shop in a store all to themselves. This particular breed of customer is indecisive, loves options, demands answers, and doesn’t understand haste. When it’s all over with, the customer has taken a personal 30 minute tour through your department with you as the tour guide and only leaves you with a promise to return tomorrow to see “You, personally” after having time to think it over.. Not only has this customer ruined your day, but your night as well, as you’ll be unable to sleep knowing the horror that awaits you the next day.