This Is What Happens When A Really Tall Guy Goes Grocery Shopping Dressed As An Orc


Which way to the meat counter? It's on the menu tonight.

One does not simply walk into the supermarket. Wait, actually… yeah. That’s how it works.

You show me someone who’s not afraid of orcs as imagined by J.R.R. Tolkien, those slavering, soulless hordes drooling for manflesh, and I will show you a liar. So it’s not surprising that the appearance of a seven-foot tall man dressed like those fiercest of orc warriors, the mean ol’ Uruk-hai, would draw some interesting reactions when he headed out to go grocery shopping.

Mr. Uruk-hai heads off to the supermarket to pick up whatever it is orcs need — extra toilet paper for those long hauls across the Plateau of Gorgoroth and maybe some chips and salsa for nights spent in the Mountains of Shadow — and of course, startled titters and general fun ensues.

While he definitely needs some more gnarly action going on in the dental region, and maybe a bit of slime and general orc muck slathered all over that imposing frame, I can tell you without a doubt that my insides would still want to be on the outside if I ran into that guy.

(h/T to