THE THOUGHTS OF A RETAIL WORKER
1. When you attempt to avoid conversation by staring at your phone, we can tell. It’s rude.
2. When you attempt to discreetly place an item in a place where it doesn’t belong, we noticed. It’s rude.
3. Just because one policy works at one store, doesn’t mean it can be applied to others. When you insist that, “They discount it for me at the other store,” you sound like an idiot.
4. Despite our feigned enthusiasm, it isn’t the first time we’ve heard, “Can I pay with my good looks?” or, “Can you give me the 100% off coupon?” or, “There’s no price tag? It must be free!”
5. You give up the right to complain about the crowded stores when you decide to shop on Black Friday, Christmas Eve, Cyber Monday, etc. Period.
6. No, you’re child is not “cute” when they wreak havoc on our recently-cleaned store.
7. If it weren’t for our company’s “Amazing Customer Service,” we would ask you to exit the premises as soon as the minute hand announces the closing of our store.
8. If you ask for the price of an item without checking the PRICE tag…prepare to be #judged.
9. If you wait until the end of the transaction to bring up the fact that you have a coupon, you have no right to hurry us when we are forced to redo the entire purchase.
10. And finally, never EVER reply to, “Hi! How are you?” with, “No thanks, I’m just browsing.”
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