GOOD MORNING, SEXUALS!!! So for those of you who’ve never worked in retail, you’re seriously missing out on important life skills, believe it or not. There are so many things you learn in retail about people and life that you wouldn’t learn anywhere else. However, learning these things comes at a heavy price (no pun intended). There are many things in retail that make me very upset, all relating back to one thing: the customers. I am not dissing the place that I work at, because in all honesty, the staff rocks, and the company is pretty great. Today, I’m just going to highlight the main things in retail that piss me off about the people who shop there.
(What Starbucks should do.)
1) THE ANTI-SOCIALITES
These are the types of people who you greet and they don’t even acknowledge you. These people generally think that they are above everyone else who work in the store for the fact that they have a white-collar job and therefore think they have the right to shrug everyone off their shoulders. FYI, a lot of us are working here because we are struggling students and need the money. It doesn’t mean we’re stupid, so we shouldn’t be treated as such. We are people like you and manners still matter, buddy!!!
2) PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE FUNNY BUT AREN’T
EVERYONE has met these people at some point. For example, when I ask “Would you like a paper bag?” these idiots respond with, “No, I’m gonna save a tree, haha, am I right?” Uh, no. You’re very wrong. You aren’t saving no tree! As you can see, the trees are taken from the forest, ground up and made into the bags that are infront of you. You can’t save something that’s dead! Also, these are the same people who watch me try to scan the items, but the scanner isn’t working, and say “Well, I guess it’s free, huh?” Uh, no. I will find a way to ring your stuff up. Nothing in retail is free. More importantly, you’re making yourself look like an ass by trying to appear funny, but you really aren’t.
3) PEOPLE WHO TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB
Last time I checked, I’M the one standing behind the counter, buddy. When I bag your stuff a certain way, or get a manager for this reason, or ask if you have a rewards card, I’m doing it for YOU. If you don’t want me to do it, that’s all on you. I’m just trying to help you out. But don’t stand there and lecture me on how to do my job. I’m employed, I get paid, and I’m scheduled on the basis that I’m knowledgeable and know how to make people feel welcomed in the store. More importantly, I’m doing what I’m told to do.
4) PEOPLE WHO ARE RUDE
Just to not make me seem so heartless, I can understand if something is going on in your life that may cause you to act rude, such as an unfortunate accident, a death, debt, what have you. All things aside and equal, let’s just say nothing significantly dramatic is happening to you and you’re just a rude person. Don’t take your rudeness out on me, dude! Have you ever heard of “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you?” If you verbally harrass or insult me, I have a right to stand up for myself, and don’t you act like I don’t! I don’t care if I’m a person working in retail, I’m still a person!
5) PEOPLE WITH ANNOYING KIDS
CONTROL THEM!!! Or leave them in the car! We can’t be standing around watching your kids waiting for them to break something. Or what’s worse, if these little fockers are being so loud, you contribute?! How much sense does that make? None! Be the adult/teenaged-parent and control your kids! Set an example. And if you want to give them a smack infront of me to control them, believe me, I won’t judge you.
6) PEOPLE WHO TRY TO RIP THE STORE OFF
These are the same cheap-o’s who try on any level to get some sort of a discount for whatever reason, like comparing other store policies to ours. Ok, if you hate ours so much, go to another store! What do you want me to do, make an exception just for your cheap ass? And then there’s the people who claim they saw the product for a lower price and it’s so relieving and rewarding to bring the price tag up to them, match the product with it, and prove them wrong. If you have physical sight, use it!
7) PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY DESERVE SPECIAL TREATMENT
These are the people who claim to come in the store all the time and because of that, they deserve free stuff or some sort of a discount. This relates to #6. Dude, realize you’re just an average customer and are therefore treated as such. We hold no one to a lower, or higher, standard compared to everyone else.
8) PEOPLE WHO DON’T MAKE DONATIONS
This is a touchy subject, so I will elaborate. If you don’t support the organization we collect for, that’s all on you and I won’t judge you. It’s the people who don’t make donations and rant about why they’re not doing it that are so incredibly annoying. Who cares if you think this organization is the anti-Christ? Who cares if you just made car payments? Who cares if you just donated to another charity? NO ONE! When we ask you, would you like to donate $2 to…, it’s a little answer called “No thank you” that will suffice greatly.
9) PEOPLE WHO ASK QUESTIONS THEY ALREADY HAVE THE ANSWERS TO
These are the people who think they know it all, and think they’ll look cool by trying to make it appear as if they know more than the people working there. I had this one dumb bitch come in and was like, “When do your seasonal promotional magazines come in?” To which I said “I believe it’s 3 times a year, ma’am.” To which she replied “Mmmm, no, I think it’s 4.” OK, SO WHY DO YOU ASK?!
10) PEOPLE WHO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS
These people amuse me with their stupidity more than anything. They ask “How much is it?” while they look at the cashier screen indicating in bold what your total is. Another thing they ask is “Wow, why don’t you carry this product any more?” to which I feel like responding all the time “Because they knew you were coming in so they stopped making it.” How should I know exactly why they stopped making it?! Ya, I can very much suggest something similar to it which I’d be very happy to do, but don’t get mad at me when you find this information out. Sometimes, in my work, I may know just as much as the average customer in terms of finding things out last minute…that’s just how retail works!!
11) PEOPLE WHO HOLD UP THE LINE
These are the dumbasses who forget to bring something up to the cash and expect everyone to wait while they “quickly” go and get it, or the people who forget their method of payment!! It’s called a list, first of all. And second of all, how do you leave your vehicle, walk into the store, shop, and the whole time, not notice you’ve forgotten your huge purse or that bulgy thing called a wallet?! It just boggles my mind!
12) PEOPLE WHO CORRECT MY GRAMMAR
What, just because you know words and sentences you suddenly become a better person? Nope, not the case. This is probably one of the biggest reasons why someone will be excluded and lonely for life.
So that was my retail rant for today. Who knows, if something new comes up, I may make another one. So this is the part where I be nice and say, to those of you who practice these habits, if you stop them, the staff where you shop will love you, thus your retail experience will be a lot more pleasant. Not only that, but stopping these habits will change some of your other habits and even more people will like you. In essence, I not only bring this up so I and other retail staff will like you, but so other people in the world will like you. I look out for people who read me, and I do it because I care.
PEACE!!!
-Libby
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