October 2014 - Page 2 of 19 - I Hate Working In Retail

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81 Thoughts Retail Workers Actually Have During Their Shift

Chris Hondros / Getty

1. It’s 6 a.m. What the hell am I doing here?
2. I’m going to mop and listen to Al Green all day and no one’s going to stop me.
3. The holidays are the most irritating time of the year.
4. Am I allowed to wear this at work?
5. Corporate better not make me buy new outfits.
6. I spend more money on work clothes than I’ll make all week.
7. I spend more money on fast food than I’ll make all week.
8. I need to remember to say the tagline.
9. Wait, what is the tagline?
10. Used the tagline, the customer didn’t even acknowledge me.
11. How much longer can I stand here texting before someone notices?
12. How much longer can I stand here eating before someone notices?
13. How much drunker can I get before someone notices?
14. How much explicit Kanye West can I play before someone notices?
15. 95 boxes of shipment? Kill me.
16. OMG. There’s a secret shopper in here. MUST. CLEAN. EVERYTHING.
17. No, I cannot “hook you up.”
18. Can I just say there are no mediums left instead of checking the stock room?
19. Why doesn’t anyone actually clean the stock room?
20. Maybe I can just take a nap back here and no one will notice.
21. Shit, how long has it been?
22. Why am I the only person on register?
23. This kid reeks of marijuana.
24. This kid reeks of alcohol.
25. This kid doesn’t believe I’m the manager.
26. This isn’t a club. Stop singing, stop dancing.
27. This isn’t a lounge. Why are you napping on the floor?
28. Why is this customer telling me this story?
29. Who is this creeper bothering my employees?
30. I’m never going to return these clothes, please stop asking me.
31. These clothes smell like cigarettes and lunch meat.
32. Please, “call corporate.” They don’t want your bologna jeans either.
33. Where are all these children coming from?
34. These demon children are destroying the entire store.
35. Wow, those kids were actually pretty nice.
36. No, we’re not hiring, we’re never hiring again.
37. Look how cool that old couple is. Wait… why are they reading “Maxim”?
38. Are these peeps gonna buy anything or what?
39. Why are those people laying on the floor?
40. Why are those people eating their meals in here?
41. The entire store smells like chicken.
42. I hope there aren’t any go-backs in the dressing room.
43. What a splendid surprise an ENORMOUS pile of dirty clothes.
44. You seriously think you can take this home and give me your card number later?
45. DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THE CREEPY GUY.
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46. Why would you come here without money?
47. Why are you spending on this crap?
48. Wow, I wish I wish my parents blew this kind of money on me.
49. Why aren’t those people buying anything?
50. I really hope that guy isn’t stealing anything.
51. OMG. DUDE IS STEALING EVERYTHING. WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOSS????
52. Oh gee! Another broken sensor!
53. There are HUGE HOLES in all of these shirts… sweet…
54. I’m confronting this guy! This is happening!
55. OK. Never mind. I’m not getting stabbed over cargo shorts.
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56. I’m drinking as soon as my shift is over.
57. I’m drinking as soon as my lunch starts.
58. I’m drinking during my shift with my bosses! This is prettttty cool.
59. New company playlist? Thank the lord!
60. * Two weeks later * When are they changing the company playlist?
61. If I have to hear “Pumped Up Kicks” one more time, I will gauge my eyes out.
62. Yes, I’ll throw your trash away for you.
63. No, you cannot pee in my store.
64. I am going to break this scanner gun.
65. I am going to throw gift cards at every god damn fragrance bottle in the store.
66. I wonder if Kevin will play ninja stars too.
67. OMG. I HIT KEVIN. HE’S BLEEDING.
68. We have dressing rooms, why are you changing in front of me?
69. Someone urinated on a pile of clothes. What is happening?
70. Okay, that guy was actually really cool.
71. No, you can’t have an extra bag to steal everything the mall has to offer.
72. No, I’m not finding your 16 year old child a “sexy” outfit.
73. You destroyed that entire pile of shirts for the extra small sitting on top?
74. Must… finger space… everything…
75. Why won’t this roll of pennies just break already?
76. I cannot lower prices sir, I’m not the goddamn CFO.
77. I’m going to nod my head and not do anything my manager is saying.
78. I’m going to be folding clothes for the rest of my life.
79. You know, folding clothing is actually pretty relaxing.
80. I’m going to be putting stickers on everything for my entire life.
81. I’m going to be working here for the rest of my life.
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23 Secrets Retail Workers Won’t Tell You

1. Holidays are not the most wonderful time of the year.

Between late nights doing inventory and rude customers, it’s a virtual never-ending hell scape of sadness and despair.

2. You have to force yourself to smile every time you ask a customer, “Do you need any help?”

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
MTV

Asking the same question dozens of times a day, every day starts to wear thin.

3. If you work at a clothing store the majority of your paycheck goes toward buying the store’s merchandise.

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
ABC

Because of course you have to “look” the part.

4. Few things are more stressful than when a new line or collection comes in.

The entire staff will be unpacking boxes, setting up displays, and dressing mannequins until 4 a.m.

5. Headsets are great for gossip and shit-talking.

It’s an inside thing.

6. You’ve faked being “the manager” just to keep a bad situation from getting worse.

7. Comfortable shoes and breaks are both worth their weight in gold.

When you’re on your feet eight-plus hours a day these things are precious.

8. Even when you’re not at work, you still obsessively fold, rearrange, and organize clothes.

Work habits die hard.

9. It secretly drives you nuts that the manager checks your bags every time you leave the store (i.e. loss prevention.)

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
The CW

For the last time YOU ARE NOT A THIEF!

10. You loathe the fact that most customers assume “the back” is a huge archive of unlimited items in every size, color, and variation.

You loathe the fact that most customers assume "the back" is a huge archive of unlimited items in every size, color, and variation.

“Can you just check for me? I drove a block to get here.”

11. But you secretly don’t mind going back there sometimes to take a much-needed break from the action.

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
NBC

You know damn well you don’t have any more size 9s, but you’ll check anyway.

12. At least once a shift a customer asks or implies if you can “hook it up.”

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
NBC

“The item didn’t scan so it must be free riiight?”

13. The break room is small, overcrowded, and almost always messy, but you definitely make the most out of your time there.

You would be surprised as to what can be accomplished in 15 minutes.

14. Co-workers are the best part of your job.

The inside jokes and shared struggle with them make the job bearable.

15. Every time a customer starts to write a check, you die a little inside.

All that’s required is a photo ID, a passport, your past three electric bills, and a credit check.

16. Outside of the usual piles of clothes and hangers, you have found unspeakable messes in the fitting rooms.

Yes caca, urine, and pads. Yes, pads to name a few.

17. It fills you with rage when people shoplift so openly.

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
20th Century FOX

For the most part most stores don’t let you confront shoplifters directly, so in essence you have to sit back and let them steal.

18. Sometimes no customers is actually worse than too many customers.

At least the time goes by quickly when you’re busy.

19. The satellite radio station your store has on repeat secretly drives you insane, and you have every single song memorized.

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
Showtime

A person can only take so many dance remixes of Miley Cyrus songs.

20. Dressing a mannequin from head-to-toe is a hell of a lot harder than it looks.

Compression shirts? Really!?

21. Your spirit gets dampened when a customer approaches the register with a ton of items and a handful of coupons.

23 Secrets Retail Workers Won't Tell You
TLC

Coupon hoarders are the worst.

22. Your soul is secretly and thoroughly crushed when a customer undoes four hours worth of folding and setting in under 30 seconds.

23. In the end you realize everyone should work retail at least once in their lives.

Few other jobs teach you more about how to interact with, treat, and respect people.

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com

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10 Things Baristas Wish Customers Would Stop Doing

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2-Disc Edition)

1. Talking on the Phone While Ordering

One of the rudest and demeaning things a customer can do is to carry on with a conversation while trying to complete their order. Sorry, sir, but would it kill you to treat your barista like a human being and order. Or, Miss, there is a line, and you only have one mouth, so use it to speak to us. We are not robots, and pointing to the menu usually results in you not getting what you want. Here’s the solution: Put the phone down. It’ll be easier and faster for everyone.

2. Getting Upset When Your Name is Misspelled

We understand that everyone wants things to be a certain way, especially when it comes to their name. But, please don’t get overly upset when Sarah, really should have been, Sara. Or if Jordan was supposed to be spelled as Jordon, Jordanne, Jorden, Jordin, Jordyn, Jourdyn, Jourden or any other combination. We really don’t mean it.

3. Leaving Pennies as Tips

One of the biggest frustration as baristas is when you leave the three cents you found in your cup holder and think that that is a viable tip. If the average cost of a drink is $3.63, then you’re tip could, should, and would be approximately $0.54.

We’re thankful for the pennies; Because every 100 is a dollar that goes to our gas tanks or college textbooks. Tips really make a difference in the life of a barista. Just because you might pay a higher cost for your daily coffee, it doesn’t mean baristas see that extra coin.

4. Being Demanding

You want a triple, iced, decaf, nonfat, 1 pump caramel, 1 pump toffee but latte, light ice that’s shaken? Yea, that’s a real drink. And that’s no problem. It goes back to how you tell us. Please, treat us like normal people. Not some robotic machine that just spits out your drink like some sterile machine. We have feelings and can discern between a sense of entitlement and genuine manners.

5. Assuming We Will Remember Your Drink

This is a daily struggle for baristas. And we apologize in advance. As much as we’d love to remember your name, spouse’s name, your three kids and their kids, plus what kind of dog you have, it is nearly impossible. It’s hard enough to remember our name sometimes, let alone, the average 268 customers that we’ll see in an 8-hour shift.

We’ll most likely remember your face – that’s a start! Perhaps if you come in often enough, we will even remember that your name starts with a ’T’, and when that happens, you’ll understand out excitement.

6. Backseat Barista

We all have that friend that looks both ways for us when we’re driving -or who even has the nerve to point in the direction that we were planning on turning. It’s frustrating. No one likes a backseat driver. Same goes for coffeehouse personnel. Yes, your drink is decaf. Yes, that macchiato will be made with nonfat. How do we know this? Because it’s on your cup. And we make what is written on the cup.

Trust the system. And when we make it wrong, simply ask, be understanding, and let us remake it for you. Baristas will be more opt to happily help you when they don’t feel micromanaged.

7. Being Impatient During Rushes

This shouldn’t need any explanation. To keep it brief: when you see a line of cups and only one of us making them, understand that we have two hands. We will do our best to get your handcrafted beverage to you at a timely manner. In the mean time, be patient. Please, it make everyone’s day a little sweeter.

8. Getting Hit On Over the Counter

People might think that this is an organic, fun way to meet new people. And indeed it is refreshing to actually not have to keep swiping on an app to find someone. But when we are wear that apron, or have our name tag on, things turn professional.

Sometimes you will sit at the counter and hold up the line thinking that you are being cute by stalling. When really you are just holding up the line – that’s annoying. Hanging over the bar and making pointless conversation is hard to sometimes engage in. Because even if we wanted to flirt back, it would be inappropriate. However, you’ll known if we’re interested – we’re human – so when we’re on break or walking out the door, let’s talk. Then we don’t feel trapped behind a counter.

9. Pouring Coffee into the Garbage

You might think that this is not a huge problem. But that’s because you don’t take out the trash at the end of the night, and then get unwanted wet, stained feet in uncomfortable temperatures.

So, please, just stop.

10. Complaining

Are you seeing a tiny scarlet thread? We are. Customers who treat us like dirt might want to make us throw their beverages at them. Maybe we need anger management classes. Or maybe we need more courteous, friendly customers. Nothing makes work worse when you have that one person who wants to make everything a new ending of the world. We know you have bad days, but have you ever thought that we might have those too? And you might be the cause.

 

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com