confessions Archives - Page 2 of 8 - I Hate Working In Retail

Mar
4

21 Fast Food Workers Reveal The Most Disgusting Sh*t They’ve Seen At The Drive-Thru

Category: confessions Tags: confessions, Fast Food Leave a Comment

1. When I was working the drive thru at Popeyes, we would always tend to get this one couple who would come by. Sure, we had plenty of regulars, but every employee knew of the Human Tables. There was always the four of them, the dad, mom, sister, and brother, and they always rolled up to the window with AT LEAST 3 big bags of food from other fast food places. Not bags of trash, but bags of uneaten food. We would call them the Human Tables because they all had their seats all the way back and would use their stomachs as tables. The smell was pretty horrid as well. I mean, imagine a family that eats 4 big ass bags of fast food from multiple fast food joints for every meal. Pure terror I tell you.

Or there was this one time when an 80-year-old woman was hopped up on meth or something and decided that you should be naked for a “better Popeyes experience.” So many wrinkles. So many.

- Uncle_Pockets

2. Working at McDonalds at 3am on a Sunday morning, I handed out food to a very nice gentleman. He must have been very nice because the guy in the passenger seat was giving him head, and he (the passenger) looked up and smiled at me as I handed them the drinks, which meant I got to see the driver in all his glory. He had no pants on at all from what I could see, so this seemed premeditated, which was the worst part of the experience. Ah, that was a wonderful place to work.

- Anonymous

3. At McDonald’s, a car full of naked people drove up and ordered food, with paper bags on their heads. I believe one of them referred to another as ‘Mom’.

- Anonymous

4. It’s not really too disgusting but I felt it should be shared. I was working the window at Tim hortons and one man ordered six small ice capps. When he came to the window I saw he had several children with him, all of different races. Then he leaned in to me and said, “Yep! I’ve got one of every kind! Black, Asian, Mexican, and way in the back there, I’ve even got a Jew!”

- Anonymous

5. I work in a tire installation shop. I’ve been there for 7 months and I already have everyone beat. 4 used tampons tied together, hanging from the woman’s rear view mirror. What made it really unsettling was that the woman was fucking gorgeous.

- Liquid_Milk

6. Working the McDonalds drive through at 11 am on a Sunday morning. A lady orders a Mcflurry (half M&M, half Oreo). Comes up to the first window where I am. Says hello and gives me her card to swipe. Completely ignores the fact that there is a crying teenage girl curled up in the fetal position in the passengers seat wearing nothing but a bra and panties.

Also there was this lady that had so much stuff in her old box style minivan passenger seat that it was almost formed to the shape that half of her body took when she sat in the car.

- Anonymous

7. I worked at Sonic as a carhop in high school. I don’t know if there’s Sonic up north, I’m from South Oklahoma, but it’s basically a drive in, you press a button, order, and your food is brought out to you.

Well, as employees, when we were bored, we would sometimes tune into the different boxes and just listen, usually get the radio, or conversations, nothing really interesting, usually. Well this night, we saw a car in the back of the lot who hadn’t ordered yet. So, naturally, we tuned in. It was quiet at first, then we heard a few grunting noises and realized “They’re having sex in our parking lot!” So we drew straws and decided I was the one who would bring the “Happy tray” out (basically a tray with condiments on it that you go car to car with).

It’s pitch black out, our lot isn’t very well lit, I get out there, peer in the shaking car and very innocently say “Would y’all like a mint?” (all the while I know my coworkers are listening in)

The car stops shaking, I see a shadow of a face look at me and say, “Back in my day, if a car was rockin, we stayed the fuck away.” I heard several giggles from the back as he flipped on an interior light. There were three women in the back pushing 80, no joke, and this stallion of a man was at least 90-years-old. I can never unsee that.

tl;dr: At sonic witnessed a 4 way with 3 80-year-old women.

- codycshell

8. While working at Arby’s this car FILLED with trash came up to the window….when he handed me the money I got a whiff of a putrid odor coming from the car, the guy was obviously homeless and lived in the car. As he pulled away I saw 3-4 six gallon buckets filled with urine and feces swishing around in the back seat.

- Anonymous

9. A pregnant girl was tweezing out hair from her belly. I was definitely not expecting to see that.

- vegjosie11

10. My worst story wasn’t something I saw but what I heard. I was taking orders at the drive through one evening. A man is doing the ordering and I can hear his wife in the background giving directions on what she wants, nothing unusual. Out of no where he screams, “How many fucking times do I have to tell you, I don’t give a fuck what you want!” Then their is a couple loud slaps and complete silence on both ends. They pull around and she has her head down, not sure if she was crying or unconscious. My manager had a headset on and came back a few minutes later and asked me if its what he thought it was and it was.

- tockcease

11. I watched the gradual decline of a customer’s car through drive thru other a couple of months. To start with he had trouble rolling down the windows of the rust bucket. That’s not too bad… Little while later, the window is completely fucked. It’s duct taped shut and he has to open the car door to hand over the money. Eventually he was standing on his seat and leaning out of the sunroof to get his food. I was surprised that piece of shit could even start – it was completely held together with brown paper and duct tape.

He was always well dressed and that though, seemed like he had money. It was just the car.

- dumbledorkus

12. I worked at Taco Bell once upon a time. It was about mid-afternoon, and it was hot as hell outside.

One of our registers was down, so I was taking the payment and giving the food out at the same window. A lady pulls up to my window and I tell her the total. I don’t remember exactly how much it was, but it was probably around seven or eight dollars and some change.

She was very large and sweating heavily, she looked dirty, but luckily I couldn’t smell her. First she pulls a couple bills out of her bra and hands them to me, they were moist but it wasn’t something I had never had happen. She then reaches deep down under her boob and literally pulls out a hand full of change. FULL! I looked at her, I looked at her boob change and I said, “It’s okay, you’re close enough without the change.” I handed her the food and she went on her way, but man there was no way I was touching that!

All I could see in my mind was that episode of Spongebob where Bubbles Bass hides the pickles from his Krabby Patty under his tongue, except it was coins on the underside of a sweaty fat lady’s boob. Ew.

- bugjuggler

13. Not a drive-thru, but similar. I worked as a cart clerk at a grocery store in a rural town and saw some disgusting stuff.

There was this massive guy who probably weighed 300+ pounds who was sitting at the end of the checkout lanes and shit himself. Some of it fell out of his pant leg onto the ground and sat there for 20 minutes until the janitor showed up. No idea where the guy disappeared to, but it wasn’t to the washroom.

There was also a regular who was probably 400+ pounds and was so heavy that he had to lean backwards and do a fast walk to keep his momentum up in order to stay standing until he got to the electric carts. He would drive around and leave stink trails all across the store.

- Anonymous

14. While working at my first job, McDonald’s: greasy, unshaven man who was missing teeth pulls up in your stereotypical sketchy white van. Hanging from his rearview mirror are 3 or 4 pairs of little girls’ underwear.

- caitydee

15. Disgustingly fat black woman in a very short dress wearing no underwear being fingered by old black dude. She is on her back and her disgusting cooch is visible being fingered as you look out the drive window. Nearly puked.

- Anonymous

16. While working as a minimum wage slave at McDonalds. I was the drive through window guy just passing out the food. Well, one night this couple pulled in and was waiting on their fries. We had to make a new batch so I told him he could wait for a while because it was unusually slow that night. During this time the guy proceeds to whip out his dick and get a blow job all the while his other half pleasured herself while they waited and this continued as I handed them their fries.

- Anonymous

17. I was going on 47 hours plus without sleep (don’t ask, it was a bet), it was just before closing, and I was working back cash.

This couple pulls up and places their order, I think it was a Big Mac combo and something else. I only remember the Big Mac because it comes into play later. I take the order, given them their total and ask them to pull up to the window.

Here they come, in a truck I swear was more rust than metal. The guy, who’s driving, rolls down his window as he’s fumbling around with his wallet, counting out the money. It seemed like it took at least five minutes for him to count out five one dollar bills. Did I mention they looked like the most hillbilly, redneck people on the face of the planet?

Okay, so he hands me five one dollar bills. I repeat the total to him, which is a few dollars more than what he handed me.

“Ahh shit, lemme look around and see if I can find some more money,” he says. Proceeds to dig in the seat, ask his female companion, shit you not, look in the bed of the truck, but alas, he can’t come up with the money. All this time, I’m waiting, trying to figure out if this is a dream, or a hallucination.

“Ah man, I don’t have no more money. Maybe we could come up with a trade,” he says. I tell him nope, it has to be cash.

“Yer sure it has to be cash?” I repeat that yes, it has to be cash.

“Well, my lady friend here gives the best blowjobs in the world, and I’m sure she would oblige and give you the best hummer in the world, if you would just let us have the Big Mac,” he says. At this point, the lady smiles at me from the truck, and I shit you not, there was only three teeth in her head.

I mentally shudder, and repeat that I need the cash, or we can’t give them the food, all the while trying to avoid looking at either of them, for fear I might puke spontaneously.

“Yer sure about the blowjob son,” he says. I tell him I’m fine without it. He shrugs, looks at his lady friend and says, “Guess we won’t be eatin’ McDonald’s tonite hon.” Puts the truck in gear and drives off, leaving me to wonder again if this was a fucked up dream, or reality.

- nunontherun

18. White Castle night shift, early 2000s.

A guy getting head from an obvious prostitute.

A recently bought pair of fake tits.

A dude getting jerked off by his girlfriend, not even trying to hide it.

Passenger passed out with needle in his arm.

Multiple drunk cops in their squad cars.

Driver with a lit joint in his mouth while paying me.

Dude who looked like he had been headbutted, driving drunk and bleeding badly.

That’s all I can think of now.

- IWillTongueYourButt

19. This isn’t fast food establishment, but a drive thru at a local convience store. I saw a man with one of those blue drinking fountain jugs HALF filled with snuff spit. I inquired about it and he told me he attempted to ‘recycle’ on the days he couldn’t buy a whole can.

- donqiote13

20. Working night shift in a McDonalds equivalent, 2am ish, there’s a huge line to the drive through. Up comes a car with a middle aged gentleman and an older woman. Nothing special here, should be an easy customer… or so I thought. Upon a closer look the old lady is tripping balls with some kind of greenish goo oozing out of her mouth. The man himself has a contact lense with a star printed on it. Kind of strange but hey, it’s late saturday, right?

Well this is where it gets interesting. Instead of your standard late night order this guy goes ahead and orders twenty nine (29) hamburgers, no fries, no drinks. Now this is somewhat unordinary but nothing we can’t handle. Such order takes a while to do and this guy starts talking (the older lady, who turned out to be his mother, still on another astral plane) about how he’s a psychic and can tell the future. He goes on a rant how everythings going to shit and we’re all gonna die and other standard crazy person talk. At one point he asks my co-worker if she’s thought about name yet. We think nothing of this and once his order is finished he leaves without a fuss.

An hour goes by and the same car comes around. Maybe he’s still hungry after those 29 burgers? Well, he drives to the window and flips his shit. Starts shouting that he didn’t order all these hamburgers but he wanted a big mac (still not a mcdonalds). Guy literally goes ballistic and starts throwing the hamburgers at us. After a long 5 minutes we get him to calm down, but not before threatening to call the cops.

The crazy thing about all this? My co-worker was few weeks pregnant at the time. No-one knew.

- omhak

21. Working at McDonald’s one fateful night shift this very drunk man makes an order for 2 Big Macs, I hear two other voices and assume its just his friends. After they order, I open the window for them to pull up. Four minutes pass they still haven’t pulled up. I’m confused at this point, so I look out the window to see a couple fucking in the front seat of a taxi…with the cab driver sitting next to them.

- blackreaper6

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com

Mar
4

By IHWIR Admin

23 Terrible Stories That Will Instantly Trigger Everyone In The Retail And Service Industry

Category: confessions Tags: confessions, retail lists Leave a Comment

Shutterstock / Sergey Miron

Found on r/AskReddit.

1. A guy came up to the register and ordered a cheeseburger (you cant mess that up right?), well I took his money, gave him his change and a minute later, his cheeseburger. A few seconds after I hand him the cheeseburger, he looks at me and goes, “You stupid inbred piece of shit! I wanted a big mac!” I was 16 at the time and was horrified that a grown man would shout at a freaking kid over something that was not my fault… My manager came over and ripped this guy a new one for being so stupid.

- Satan_McRapeypants

2. I used to work at Wendy’s. Once a woman came up and gave me the most complicated, ridiculous order I’ve ever heard.

She was so indecisive and couldn’t decide what she wanted, and kept changing things. Plus, we had the oldest cash registers in Wendy’s history (from the 1960s, I’m not kidding, it took 5 buttons just to order a small drink). Finally she finished, I ran through her order with her STEP BY STEP and she approved it.

It took us a while to get the order done, it was close to an $85 order.

I reviewed her receipt step by step again, made sure everything was in the bags, and gave her the food.

15 minutes later, she comes storming in, holding a bag of fries, saying “THIS ISN’T WHAT I ORDERED YOU STUPID BITCH, DID YOU EVEN FINISH HIGH SCHOOL OR ARE YOU A PATHETIC DROP OUT DRUG DEALING IDIOT?! YOU ARE SO BEYOND INCOMPETENT, I ORDERED 7 LARGE FRIES, NOT 6, GIVE ME MY OTHER FUCKING FRY BEFORE I SET YOU ON FIRE.”

I wish I was overreacting. I will never forget those words. Side note, I was an Honors Student at a Big 10 University at the time.

I was just shocked. One of my co-workers took the fries out one at a time and counted them (there were 7). I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it involved asking the woman where the fuck she learned to count.

I will always be respectful to people who work in fast food. ALWAYS.

- liveincolorr

3. When I worked in a call centre doing tech support:

“Go fuck yourself.”

Customer: “So you close in a few minutes?”
Me: “Yes, we do.”
Customer: “How do you get home?”
Me: “I take the train.”
Customer: “Well I’m going to keep you on the phone until you miss your train.” (They failed.)

- fudgemylife

4. I worked as a pharmacy tech in college, dispensing drugs to every kind of person imaginable, and some of those people were not very nice. A very large percentage of people didn’t understand their insurance plan or how deductibles work, and that makes them surprisingly angry.

One gentleman whose deductible had not yet been met had been given a prescription for a more expensive antibiotic and the patient cost was over $300. Seeing the price, rather than ask why it was so expensive, he went off on a tirade of anger. He yelled that he was going to wait for me and rape me in the parking lot that night; that he was going to find out where I was living and rape me in my home.

I was so upset and the pharmacist just stood in the back of the pharmacy hiding and didn’t say anything to this guy. No one at the store did anything at all, actually. After realizing that the guy was indeed sitting in the parking lot nearly an hour later, I called the cops on him and reported his threats to them. He was removed from the property, but it was a huge scene.

I ended up getting written up for calling the cops on this guy by the manager of the pharmacy. I transferred to a new store after that.

- Anonymous

5. This guy was trying to get insurance information from his ex wife over the phone. I was new to the pharmacy and didn’t realize I could get it off of her profile. She, not realizing she’s on speakerphone said, “What kind of fucking idiots do they have working there?” Everybody in the store heard her say it.

The guy saw how embarrassed I was, looked at me saying: “That’s why she’s my ex wife.”

- danimal90

6. I worked in retail and would often get shoplifters, but we couldn’t do much other than follow them around and if we saw them put something in their purse/bag/pocket offer to place that item at the cash register for them.

We technically couldn’t accuse them of shoplifting because if they dropped the item and no longer had it, they could sue the company for false accusations. Really messed up considering it was a Fortune 500 lingerie company.

One day I came out from the back and walked into a situation where a frequent shoplifter was having a stand off with my boss. Accused my boss of being racist and then threw cookies at her. Yes, cookies. It was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever witnessed, other than the time I caught a man shoving about 8 bottles of perfume down his pants.

“Excuse me, sir, can I offer you a shopping tote for those perfumes? I see they must be your favorite, can I interest you in our store card?”

Yeah, I don’t miss that job.

- silveringrid

7. There was a big line at my work and only two of us working. So I ended up being the only one on cash with a huge line.

I was going fairly quickly and still being cheerful so I thought I was doing fine, then this woman about two customers back says, loudly, “This retarded girl shouldn’t be allowed to be on till alone if she is going to be that slow.” She said this to her 8-year-old daughter.

- Lyzzteria

8. I worked as a customer service rep at a cell phone company in college and would hear terrible things all the time but, the worst would have to be when I heard a man literally almost beat his wife to death.

She was the account owner and had not authorized him to access it. They must have been having a pretty heated argument already because he was calling in to disconnect her line. She wouldn’t give authorization so, in response, he began to beat her. It was the most awful thing I have ever heard. I could hear each time he made contact and the sounds she made still haunt me when I think about them. I hit trace on my phone, muted and waved my supervisor over. She and I were able to get the police to their home in a matter of minutes but it felt like an eternity because there was nothing I could do except wait.

The police finally arrive and contain him, I hear the paramedics asking her questions but I don’t hear any responses – against my choice, I had to hang up, note the account and move on with my shift, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I spent the next month thinking about her, hoping that she was fine before I finally accepted the fact I would never know. But, one day when I came into work, I had a letter on my desk.

The letter was from her. I don’t even know how to explain how relieved I felt seeing her name as the return address. She wrote about how she was in the hospital for two weeks from her injuries, she is happily in the process of divorce and the husband is now in jail. She had called in after getting home to try and find “the girl that saved her life.” I am glad we were required to note every account or my name would have been lost and I would probably still be wondering years later.

- xl3lait

9. I used to work at the infamous Ponderosa Buffet as a line cook. Fun fact, you can actually order meals there other than “buffet, please.” So with these so-called meals, you get choice of side: either french fries, or baked potatoes. One day we got slammed with business and completely ran out of baked potatoes, and had some in the oven starting to cook.

In walks The Customer. He stands at an ample 6’4. He’s a wide man, clad in denim and full of beefy desire in his heart. His mustache, thicker than Sam Elliot’s. This is an American man made by and for his time. His lips part, and out come the words: “Buffet and a Ribeye.”

The host begins to speak, but is shut down. “With a baked potato.”

“We currently are all out of potato. We can offer you-”

The man’s face turns a shade of fuchsia not even Crayola could name. His eyes bulge, his lips tighten. The air blowing in and out of his mouth creates a rippling tornado of absolute fury around him.

“NO POTATOES.”

“WE-”

“NO POTATOES?!”

He moves faster than anyone of his girth should and ever has since. He pokes his angry face back into the kitchen.

“NO POTATOES! WHAT’S GOING ON AT PONDEROSA?!?!”

“NO POTATOES!!! YOU SHOULD BE FIRED,” he proclaimed, waving a finger at me.

His family had to pull him back to the front desk, him still hollering. He accepted the sad terms we had to give him. French Fries. The kitchen was on the other side of the wall from the buffet line, so I walked around to see him eating his steak.

He just ate it with pure spite. I’ve never seen anyone mow on a buttered well-cooked steak with just pure hatred. He didn’t even enjoy the buffet. He just sighed when he had to pick up the tongs/spoon/ladle like it wasn’t enough. There will always be a baked potato shaped hole in that fat man’s heart.

- Creepwood

10. I worked at the paint department at Lowes. And one time an older black couple said I was making them wait because they were black, even though they were behind three people I was helping.

I asked them how could they possibly think that, and they said, ” Your ears turned red when you talked to us. Thats how we know you’re racist.”

- LeftPocket

11. I was working my store’s service desk when this dirty (literally dirty) old guy walks up with some opened light bulbs. He’s muttering to himself for a minute or so before telling me that he wants to return them. Naturally, he has no receipt. Now, we’re not supposed to do anything with opened bulbs, but I told him that he could replace them if he wanted. He told me our return policy was communism before taking the bulbs and shambling away, muttering to himself. I honestly didn’t think he’d come back.

About an hour later, he comes back with the bulbs and a half dozen cans of cat food off the shelves. He scowled at me and asked if what he had was good enough. I told him that, again, all I could do was replace the bulbs. He yelled, “WELL, YOU CAN KEEP THE SON OF A BITCH AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!” and proceeded to throw all of the items at me. I’ve been called a lot of things and had various items thrown at me, but this is still the only time I’ve been told to stick stuff up my ass.

He missed, by the way.

- Anonymous

12. Elderly man told me I should be taken out back and shot…

Apparently not having a specific brand of milk is a pretty big deal…

- Anonymous

13. Woman walks up to my register with her 2-year-old.

Orders a drink.

2 year old reaches into our tip jar and pulls out a quarter.

I protest.

Mother responds, “It’s just a quarter. I give you people too much already anyway.”

Mother and daughter turn and leave.

- Trinilos

14. my first job was as a waitress and I had a particularly surly old man one day that spent the duration of his meal insulting me, asked me to turn around for him, criticized the way I styled my hair and overall just gave me a hard time about every little thing. He left without giving me much of a tip even though I tried my best to remain polite and professional. The lady sitting at the table beside me noticed how rude he was and went out of her way to compliment me and left me a 20 dollar tip on a 40 dollar bill. It was probably my first real life encounter when I realized that despite the grumps in the world, there are people out there that show genuine sincerity and kindness to strangers.

- Anonymous

15. I worked at a Steak ‘N Shake right outside the metro area of Atlanta for about 3 months with my best friend at the time, who is black. There was a customer she was serving who didn’t like something about the service (she didn’t get the customers drink quickly enough or something, during a rush) The customer stands up and yells “You stupid fucking n–ger!” in front of the whole service floor. My friend handled it the best she could and walked away, and the whole staff saw it, including management. What shocked me the most was that they didn’t ask this woman to leave. My friend finished her shift, and someone else served the psycho. People are crazy man, I work in retail and I get someone about once a week who is institution worthy.

- Anonymous

16. I had 6 middle aged females (generally, notoriously bad tippers) sitting at a table for lunch – they were celebrating one lady’s birthday. They were super demanding, dismissive, and condescending – basically had me running around all shift. At the end of the meal, they requested (read: demanded), that I split the check by seat and then allocate the birthday lady’s bill onto their tabs (so she wouldn’t have to pay). It’s not super hard, but time consuming and kind of a hassle (busy lunch – have to swipe cards / make change for 5 different tabs – but whatever, it’s my job).

In the end, I only made about 10% in tips off of the table. They all leave, I’m a bit upset about being treated like crap and not even being paid well for it. All of a sudden the birthday lady walks up to me at the door of the kitchen, hands me $20, smiles and says “I know how they can be. Thanks.” Faith in humanity restored!

- AryasNeedle

17. I was working register one day when this couple comes up with a bag of dog food. I ring them up and tell them their total ($40.34 or something like that). The wife says “Hold on I think I have the change… no never mind I don’t.” So I take what they give me, get their change, close the cash drawer, turn to hand their change to them and see she is holding 2 quarters to give to me. She has an angry look on her face and I said “Oh I’m sorry, you told me you didn’t have the change.” The thing that baffles me is that while I was getting her change, she could have spoke up and said, “Hey wait I have it!” But she chose not to. So in anger she turns to her husband and says “What does she have? Fucking downs syndrome?” They both start laughing and I’m standing there shocked that something as terrible as that would come out of someones mouth. And that’s when the customer behind them said “What are you? A fucking bitch?” The couple storms out and I’m just standing there still in disbelief that someone who is supposed to be an adult would say something like that.

- Anonymous

18. My friend and I were next in line at the concession counter of a movie theater and the customer in front of us was being an absolute prick to the young girl working behind the counter for no apparent reason, except that he was just a flaming asshole. She was so flustered and nervous that she was shaking, it was very sad to watch. So I began to comment very loudly to my friend something like “Look at this fucking guy, picking on a teenage girl.” So he looks back as if he is going to lay into me and sees two big guys staring him down. He quickly flips back around and stares at the counter. I then say something to the effect of “You know, people like this deserve to have the fucking shit beaten out of them. I hate fucking pussies.” My friend made some comment in agreement with my sentiment. Mr. Asshole became visibly nervous – it was a glorious turn of events! I felt like I had made the world a little better place that night.

- raoullduke72

19. When I was working at McDonalds a guy once came in to promote the new church/cafe he had opened. He went on about how they did mainly lunches and whatnot for the poor. Then he says “I assume since you work at McDonalds you must be really poor or not all there.” The girl in the drive through and I just stood there staring at him untill his meal came up and he left.

- StunNikpmup

20. I work as a hostess at a nicer restaurant in a Big-10 college town. It was my first time working on a football game day, and we were completely packed. We were on a three hour wait, which basically meant that people were camping out at tables until the game was over. A group of six or seven 60- to 65-year-old men barged through the door and completely ignored our hellos, pushing through a crowd of 20 or so customers standing around waiting and drinking beer. Before they got too far past the foyer to hear me, I told them that if they’d like a table, we could put their name on the list. One of the men turned back at me and literally sneered. I looked at the door guy for some help but he was trying to kick out a drunk mom, so it looked like I was on my own here.

I finally got through the crowd and found the men sitting at a table that had literally just been cleared off. I remember taking a huge breath to steel myself before asking them to move, because I’m already pretty put off by older men, and these guys were shitfaced on top of that. I said something like “Excuse me, I just need to let you know that right now we’re on a three hour wait and there are about 20 groups waiting to be sat right now. If you wouldn’t mind getting up and heading back to the entrance so we can put your name on the list, that would be great.” One of the guys stands up and is pretty much towering over me. I’m about 5’1″. He was roughly the height of a pine tree. Intimidating a young girl? Classic move, dirtbag!

“Listen, nobody ever told us we’d have to wait. We’re not moving.” So I said, “Well, with all due respect sir, you walked past about five hostesses on your way in, and we did actually tell you that there was a wait. You just ignored us. So I’m telling you again to make sure you understand.” The guy literally SPIT on the ground at this point and stares at me with the creepiest eyes in the world and goes, “I didn’t hear any of you lazy cunts say anything to me.” I am pretty sure I have never been more indignant in my entire life. I remember being in complete shock and just walking away.

One of the servers stopped me, saying that I looked like I had just seen a ghost, so I told him what happened. He stared open mouthed at me and told me to go tell our manager, so I did, even though I was pretty embarrassed that I had tears in my eyes. I just assumed this sort of thing was normal on busy days like this and that I just wasn’t used to it yet.

When I told him what had just happened, he got this look in his eyes that I have come to enjoy seeing, because it usually means it’s about to go down. It was pretty awesome. He had me point out which table they were at, walked up to them, and said, extremely calmly, “Nobody ever speaks to my employees like that, and nobody EVER speaks to a woman like that. You crossed a line. Get the fuck out of my restaurant.” The guys were extraordinarily pissed and said stuff like, “We’re alumni, we are important here,” and “You’ll never get our business again,” etc. and my boss says, “Eh, I don’t really care. Your money is worthless here.”

And then all was well again in the world.

My least favorite people in the world are middle-aged men who think they’re back in their fraternity house as soon as they arrive on their old campus, but my favorite people in the world are bosses who actually care about their employees.

- Anonymous

21. People are terrible to waitstaff.

I once had a man order nachos that had the whole shebang- salsa, sour cream, chili, lettuce, tomato, onion, butt load of shredded cheese, cheese sauce and two types of beans. This dish is a HUGE appetizer and can easily be split between 5 people. Well this man eats exactly half of it and then tells me it’s “too dry” so I offer to get him more salsa, cheese sauce, and chili and he said “Are you fucking STUPID? I said it was DRY not that I need more shit to put on it!” And I was a little dumbfounded so I just said something like, “Oh, sorry sir, what can I get you then?” He glared at me and said “Get me your fucking manager you incompetent bitch.” I do so and, it being a corporate chain, I expected my manager to side with the customer.

However, this manager must have also been told off because I over heard him say “Well, you ate half of it so that first half must have been fine. Therefore, if you are going to talk like that to me and my staff I demand you pay for this and get the hell out of here.” As the man was leaving he asked my manager if I was new to which my manager said, “Well she’s been here for a few months.” And the guy looked straight at me (I was cleaning a nearby table) and said “I can tell, she’s never going to last if she can’t figure out how to do the simplest tasks. She’s a complete fucking idiot. Save yourself time and money and fire her already.” He was promptly escorted out of the restaurant.

- downwithmoonlight

22. I worked in a movie theater back in the day and when I told a very elderly man how much his popcorn and soda cost he immediately erupted into a verbal blitzkrieg which basically accused me of being a raging antisemitic.

Granted it was expensive as fuck but he was literally claiming I was making up different prices for different creeds. He even brought Palestine into it.

Plus he was the perfect distance from the other customers earshot so when they all looked over, it probably looked like I was oppressing this poor old man.

It’s like come on, man. You look like an old bag of skin I can’t even tell what you are. Besides don’t feel special, were robbing everyone.

- BeatFiend

23. I work in customer service for a very well-known credit card company. I had a younger lady call in, very confused about her AMAZON account. I attempted to explain that I can help with her credit card, but I regrettably don’t have access to her Amazon account. She proceeded to mock me… everything I would say she would repeat back in this twerpy little voice. She called me a stupid bitch. Stating that I was nothing but a blood sucking whore. Seriously. I apologized, asked her to keep it professional, and proceeded to transfer her to Amazon for further assistance.

- sublimegames20

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com

Mar
2

By IHWIR Admin

11 Adult Shop Workers Reveal Their Most Interesting Story

Category: Just Funny, Retail Stories Tags: confessions, retail stories Leave a Comment

Found on r/AskReddit.

1. I worked at one for about a year and a half, but mine closed at 3am due to county regulations.

Since the store closes at 3, drunk couples have the intense desire to purchase sex toys right when the bars close, and on certain nights the store gets popular during the last hour. We also had booths and a theater, which were both very popular for the more promiscuous patrons; usually closeted middle aged men.

For some reason, this was the most popular night I had ever had. Attempting to close up the store, clean it, and do an inventory was an absolute nightmare with everyone inside. Usually we would have 1-2 people… this time I was working alone with at least 30 people in the store; I blame a chemical spill in the water supply.

My supervisor walked in to do the final check and could not believe the amount of customers, and he ended up running the register while I fervently attempted to catch up. We were usually out by 3:15, and we were barely finishing up the inventory at 3:45.

The patrons were gone, and it was time to leave, at about 4am, when one more drunken idiot came in the store. This man was in his late 60s, hispanic, and very frail looking. He had a mustache and reminded me of a Mexican Waluigi!

While counting the money in the register, I hear my supervisor say:

“We’re closed. Sorry”

5 seconds later:

“Estamos cerrados.” (We are closed in Spanish)

5 seconds later:

“What… the fuck”

Diego Waluigi had dropped his pants and revealed the biggest penis I have ever seen on a human. This thing was stolen from a horse. It was a third leg. It probably committed a war crime at some point by simply existing. If it was not fully erect, it probably would have dropped close to his kneecaps. He was staring at my supervisor, dead in the eye, and stroking his penis slowly, caressing it like a sorceress would an unruly dragon. I will never forget his mustache, and his twitching eye. The entire situation was so fucking alien I cannot forget any details.

My supervisor screamed for him to get out, and after a few more hate strokes, he waddled back out of the store, his pants still around his ankles. My supervisor and I looked at each-other, realizing we just saw Satan’s unicorn.

As we left the store and headed to our vehicles, I feared something that I never thought possible; being beaten to death by a giant penis.

- omiclix

2. I once had to kick a man out of the store for licking the floor of booths because he was jonsin’ for some baby batter.

- Wisenheimer662

3. On a regular night I’d have like maybe a dozen customers at most. Often times the hardest part of the job was staying awake.

One night this guy comes in and is browsing around. He’s wearing sweatpants, a jean jacket, a t-shirt and a trucker hat. He eventually wanders over to the magazines and proceeds to peruse every magazine on the rack. He’s there for about two or three hours. Finally he leaves and gives me a nod on the way out. I look out the window and see him in the parking lot facing traffic (the store was on a main stretch so there was still sporadic traffic even in the middle of the night).

This dude’s got his pants around his ankles, one hand on his hat to keep the wind from blowing it off, one hand feverishly jerking off to oncoming traffic and I assume all the new deposits to the spank bank he just made.

Here’s another one.

This dude bought a stack of magazines, rented a bunch of DVDs, lube, a blow up doll and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. I’m ringing his stuff through, get to the handcuffs and say “You know, once you blow her up she’s not going anywhere”, the guys face turned bright red. I felt bad. I don’t care what people do I was just joking around.

One time I smashed a robber in the face with a fairly meaty two sided dildo.

Got hit on by all sorts of people.

Got to run into people I knew who didn’t know I worked there a lot. “It’s a joke gift” “It’s for a bachelor party”, heard those a few times. Priceless.

Ultimately quit because I figured being in that environment and never seeing the sun was making me weird.

I was starting to feel like a Chuck Palahniuk character.

- ManVsMagic

4. I worked the graveyard shift of a porn store, and overnights are usually the slow time. Evenings are usually when all the spicy stuff is going down, and all the worst things happen around 11 pm on a Friday, when the drunken pervert crowd mingles with the drunken bachelorette party crowd.

I guess the worst thing was the time a guy tripped and fell, cutting his head and face on a magazine rack, but still wanted to shop. He got blood on everything in the damn store before I could insist that he either go get medical attention or I was calling an ambulance.

- Red_Mischa

5. My shift started at 2am and I got out at 10am. The store was located in a semi-shitty part of town. Anyway, one morning, it’s 8am I’m tired and just trying to make it to the end of my shift so I can get home and sleep. The door swings open, and in walks what was clearly, a transvestite.

She looked like she had applied her lipstick in the “Blackhole Sun” video. She was wearing an awful wig and a tube top just low enough for me to see that her chest hair was growing back. Not sure what to say, I let her speak first.

“Hey…working?” She said. I nodded on agreement. “Ever get horny while at work?” She continued. “I’m really horny…”. “That’s nice.” I replied. She leaned on the counter attempting to be sexy, “I could really suck a cock right now, if you want, it could be yours…”. So there I was dear reader thinking to myself “You know, I never thought I’d turn this down but NOPE!” “Yeah, no thank you.” I replied. “You sure?” She “purred” “I really want to suck a cock! Please!”

I glanced over at the security camera and saw a man walking near the store outside. I turned back to her and said “No thanks, again. But maybe that guy does!” I pointed with excitement. She didn’t go for it. She pleaded for several more minutes before finally giving up and left. Weird.

- XK310

6. An older couple came through with a shopping full of KY Jelly and a pack of hot dogs. They seriously cleaned out our stock of KY, there had to of been 45, 50 tubes of it. They said they had their RV parked in the lot on their way north through Colorado.

They tossed in a pack of bubblegum, and then my shift at WalMart ended and I went home to study for a geography quiz the next day.

- ux_

7. My ex worked at an adult video rental store. Often times I would come to the store and hang out with him, because 90% of the time the store was empty. This is not surprising, considering that porn is freely available on the internet, and they did not offer dvds/vhs for purchase, only for rental. Anyway, we mostly just hung out and played old ps2 games on a tiny tv to pass the time.

Occasionally, you would get weirdos in there. Ok, most of the time. Since it was rental porn. You know, it takes a special breed to rent porn. It’s more of a “need” to rent than a “want” to rent. See what I’m getting at here?

Anyway, one day this big fat trucker (had a lot of truckers as customers) comes in complaining he wants his money back. My ex approaches and asks him why he wants his money back. Meanwhile I’m averting my eyes as I’m not really interested in having conversations while in a porn rental store. 90% of customer interactions are 10 words or less. I’m just playing video games.

The thing about rentals is that you don’t really get a guarantee or with it, unless the thing is downright damaged from the get-go. So my ex is asking him “was there something wrong with it? Did it not play correctly?” This guy says it worked just fine. It just wasn’t up to his particular boner-inducing-standards. My ex asks him specifically what was wrong with the DVD.

Trucker says “the chicks didn’t have enough dicks.” I don’t know how one comes to this conclusion, or whether or not this particular porn indeed had enough dicks or not. But whatever amount of dick was on these chicks was not enough for this man. I can’t remember whether or not he got his money back.

- mynameisbutt

8. One time a friend and I went to a local adult store. It was part of a local chain, always clean and not sketchy, as far as adult stores go.

I wanted to pick up a new bowl, and my friend wanted to look at glass dildos. because apparently for women glass dildos are the best thing out there. So I’ve been told.

Anyways, we peruse, I pick a bowl out and the worker gets it out of the case, tells me she’ll have it at the front. I grab my friend and we wait in line. In front of us is this older women, probably around 60 years old. She’ wearing a tan trench coat, looking like she has to meet Humphrey Bogart on a late night rendezvous to stop the Nazis.

She proceeds to the counter, and hands her items to the employee. The employee explains that you can’t return this item, so she has to test it before it leaves the store to make sure it’s working. The old lady replies “I know. Not my first rodeo”. And I’m like hey, good for you old lady. Get you some.

So the employee puts the batteries into this fairly large virbrator. Turns it on and I can hear it humming away on various settings, even though I’m standing 15 ft away. The employee goes to take the batteries out and box the fuck machine up, when the old lady says:

“Oh leave them in. I’ll use it on the way home.”

And at that point I lost my shit. I couldn’t help it. The old lady glared at me and paid for her purchase and left. I was trying so hard to keep it together, and it really wasn’t humorous in any way, but jesus can’t you wait? Don’t you know how dangerous that is? I just couldn’t help it.

- Drunken_Black_Belt

9. This was about twenty years ago. We had booths in the back, and a theater attached (basically, just movie seating with a widescreen TV. I would toss in videos from the front to play back there). Here’s the thing, the lunch crowd was always kinkier than the nighttime crowd.

There was the time the two midget prostitutes in the city got in a knife fight in my store. The three cops (two male and one female) who would come in, kick everyone out of the theater and watch a movie with just the three of them for an hour. The time I forgot I had to work, and went in tripping on acid on a day when we got raided. The time a bachelorette party came in, bought a bunch of stuff and then brought me back to their house to “demonstrate” the sex toys. So many good stories.

Since most people have posted funny ones, I’ll leave a gross one. The janitor was gone that day, so I had to deal with fixing broken machines back in the booth area. I knew what went on back there, but I never ventured in. Turns out my instinct was correct. I walked into a booth and discovered something that still makes me a little queasy today.

On the floor, lying next to a pair of panties that were too small for any adult, was a bone. Must have been a foot and a half long. I couldn’t identify what animal it was from. The tip was coated with meat, shit and a great deal of blood. The bone itself had tooth marks on it where it had been gnawed…and those were also coated with shit and blood.

I told myself I would never go back into that booth again.

- Anonymous

10. I worked at a 24 hour porn store years ago. My first day, I was introduced to my co workers… a large bat, an enormous mag light, and a hammer. These were in case things got “unruly” during the graveyard shift(which was my shift).

So, on my second night, a ratty looking dude walked in. I’ll call him Ratso Rizzo, because that’s pretty much how he looked(except much, much taller than Dustin Hoffman). He stank of booze. He wandered around the aisles, periodically glancing at me with beady eyes. A group of girls(planning a bachelorette party, I’m guessing) came in. I assisted them, and they eventually left. I kinda forgot about the ratty dude. He walked out shortly after they left.

So now the shop is empty. I go out to have a cigarette. I’m standing out front, when the guy pops out of an alley. He’s breathing heavily. He says, “I saw you checking me out.”

I’m like “Dude, it’s my job to make sure you’re not stealing anything.”

“Wanna go down on me?”

“Fuck no, dude.”

“Can I go down on you?”

“Get the fuck outta here before I call the cops.”

He breathes heavily and looks to the right and left. I began to nope my way towards the door.

I speed walked backwards into the shop. And he left. About an hour later, I put up a sign and left to grab my late night lunch. As I’m heading to the gyros place I planned on eating at, I see a pack of cops. Ratso Rizzo is sitting, looking beat up, in handcuffs. Turns out, he’d started to walk down the street propositioning everyone he ran into for oral sex. Some dude didn’t take it too kindly, and duffed him out.

I gave a statement to the cops, and got named as a victim of his unwarranted advances. And then went back, reopened, and ate my gyro. I told my coworkers my story, and they one-upped me with stories of catching homeless guys buggering in the video booths.

I quickly began looking for another job… I’m pretty desensitized to seediness, but I don’t want my job description to involve chasing narsty perverts.

- yobotomy

11. I used to work a 9pm-3am shift at an adult bookstore and while we predominantly sold sex toys, we also sold drug paraphernalia (“this can only be used for tobacco •wink wink”).

Most of my customers coming in for toys were really good people, the solitary men coming in for videos/glory holes were creepy but harmless. The worst were those who came in to buy pipes and whippets (gas for inhalation).

One night around 245 am (I was off in 15), two guys came in to buy a crack pipe and left. At 3, I was to be relieved by the next shift guy who hadn’t arrived yet. At 310, police sirens went off a little too close for comfort. Suddenly, both men burst into the store fighting and knocking shelves over.

Apparently, one guy dropped the crack pipe and blamed the other guy. Needless to say, the police follow in, grab the two men, question me as to what they bought, and leave. My replacement arrives, having been stuck behind the cop cars. That was my last night working there. It can be a fascinating job, but its very taxing.