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Oct
18

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9 Reasons We Should Abolish Tipping, Once And For All

Category: Interesting Facts, Life as a Server Tags: , , Leave a Comment

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Tipping is a strange, self-defeating phenomenon. The practice as we know it today has come to negate the very reason it exists: What started out as a reward for exceptional service has now become compulsory. “Tipping starts with people wanting to be generous, or to show off, but then it becomes something where people just do it because it’s expected of them,” says Michael Lynn, a professor of consumer behavior and marketing at Cornell University who has written more than 50 research papers on tipping. When we tip, we are essentially buying the right to avoid disapproval and guilt — a uniquely first-world problem.

Still, tipping is a huge thing, accounting for around $44 billion in the U.S. food industry alone, according to the economist Ofer Azar. Polls show that Americans love to tip. “People like the power,” says Sage Bierster, a waiter friend of mine who’s been in the business for more than six years. But tipping brings with it a welter of problems: It’s costly for taxpayers, it’s often arbitrary (and even discriminatory) and it contributes to poverty among the waiters and waitresses who must grovel for our change to earn their living.

That’s why I’m proposing that we abolish tipping. Just get rid of it entirely. Here are nine reasons to ban the begging bowls once and for all:

1. It Pushes Waiters Into Poverty (And Helps Keep Them There)

In most states, restaurants are allowed to pay waiters far less than the minimum wage. The federal rate for servers in the U.S. is just $2.13 an hour, and in 19 states, that’s what servers make. Each state, though, has leeway to set a higher wage for servers. Twenty-four states have voluntarily raised servers’ minimum wage above $2.13 an hour, and seven states have gone as far as requiring servers to be paid the same minimum wage as everyone else.

This is a great system for the restaurant industry, because it lets businesses pay less than the minimum wage in almost every state. But it contributes to poverty among the waiters and waitresses who toil in diners and other inexpensive restaurants across the country. (Servers in higher-end places tend to earn a livable wage.) In fact, servers arenearly three times as likely as other workers to experience poverty, according to a March 2014 report from the National Economic Council, the U.S. Department of Labor and others.

Tipped workers and their families often depend on welfare programs to survive — and they do so at significantly higher rates than non-tipped workers, according to a 2014 report from the Economic Policy Institute, a think tank focused on labor issues. “Tipped workers are heavily reliant on public subsidies to help make ends meet,” said Sylvia Allegretto, a research economist at the University of California, Berkeley and a former waitress, who co-authored the report. “Who helps them bridge the gap? Taxpayers.”

2. Servers Make Less Per Hour Than They Used To…

The “tipped minimum wage,” which is the amount servers make per hour (not counting their tips), was established in 1966 by the federal Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA). Prior to 1966, there was no standard rate for servers and other workers who earned tips, like hotel workers. The FLSA established that the tipped minimum wage had to be no less than 50 percent of the regular minimum wage. That way, when the regular minimum wage increased, the tipped minimum wage would automatically increase along with it.

But in 1996, that changed. Under pressure from the restaurant lobby (led at the time by fast-food mogul Herman Cain), the Clinton administration decoupled the tipped minimum wage from the regular minimum wage. As a result, because of inflation, the value of the tipped minimum wage has steadily fallen over the years, as this chart from the Department of Labor report shows:

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The current federal tipped minimum wage for servers, $2.13 an hour, is exactly the same as it was in 1991, when the regular minimum wage was $4.25.

“What a boon to the restaurant lobby, that for 23 years in a row they’ve been able to pay the same low wages [to servers],” said Allegretto.

3. …And People Tip Less Now Than They Used To, Too

It’s generally accepted that when you go out to eat, you’re supposed to leave a 20 percent tip for good service. But most people don’t tip that much, according to a survey conducted earlier this year by the coupon site Vouchercloud. The company polled more than 2,600 adults from all over the country, asking them what percentage of the bill they usually leave as a tip when they dine out. Just 23 percent said they leave a 20 percent tip, and about half the survey’s respondents said they tip less now than they did five years ago, with the majority saying it was because their “financial situation had changed.”

4. Abolish Tipping, And Customers Will Still Spend The Same Amount

Here’s one argument you often hear in favor of keeping the tipped minimum wage so low: If restaurants have to pay servers a higher hourly wage, they’ll be forced to increase menu prices and that will drive business away by giving people “sticker shock.” But in all likelihood, the price hike of your meal, or the mandatory service charge tacked on in lieu of a tip, would be roughly equal to what you would have paid in tips anyway. In reality, customers already pay 100 percent of servers’ wages, said Azar, who has done extensive research on the subject.

“Restaurant owners don’t bring money from their own personal pocket to pay servers,” said Azar. “Whatever they pay waiters is from the restaurant revenues, and [those revenues] come from customers paying. It makes no difference if these payments are called tips, prices, or service charges.”

So if you’re bothered by restaurants that add a mandatory service charge to the bill, don’t worry: You’re paying the same amount, albeit in a different form, that you normally would.

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Restaurants like Sushi Yasuda in New York have already gotten rid of tipping. (Photo Yelp/Germain W.)

5. Paying Waiters A Low Hourly Wage Can Be Bad For Restaurants’ Profits

According to a 2014 report by the union-backed Restaurant Opportunities Center (ROC), those states that legally require restaurant owners to pay servers higher hourly wages also have higher per capita restaurant sales. Why? Because, the report says, when workers make more, they stay at their jobs longer, increase their productivity and spend more of their own money at restaurants.

Packhouse Meats, an independent eatery in Newport, Kentucky, is one establishment that’s already experienced the benefits of paying waiters a guaranteed wage. Servers at Packhouse Meats make $10 an hour or 20 percent of their sales — whichever amount is greater.

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The online menu for Packhouse Meats alerts customers to its no-tipping policy.

“We have very low turnover here, because our waiters don’t want to leave,” said Packhouse manager Kurt Stephens. Low turnover means the restaurant spends less time and money training new servers, and so it can provide a better experience for customers, according to Stephens.

“We end up saving a hefty sum,” he said, “and the feedback I get from customers is, they love it, because the price on the menu is exactly what they end up paying.”

6. When People Tip, They Discriminate

Every waiter knows that tips are unpredictable — sometimes you’ll earn 10 or 15 percent just because your customers don’t like you. Worse, sometimes they don’t like you because of the way you look. Studies by Michael Lynn, the Cornell professor and tipping expert, have shown that waitresses with larger breasts, smaller body sizes and blond hair tend to earn more tips than waitresses without such attributes. A separate study by Lynn found that white servers are tipped more than black servers for the same quality service and regardless of the race of the customer.

7. Tipping Culture Is An Incubator For Widespread Sexual Harassment

The tipping economy is particularly unfriendly to women. According to an October 2014 report from ROC, 80 percent of female servers say they’ve been sexually harassed at some point in their careers, and sexual harassment is more prevalent in states that only pay servers the federal sub-minimum wage of $2.13 an hour, as opposed to states that mandate a higher minimum wage.

“Since women restaurant workers living off tips are forced to rely on customers for their income rather than their employer, these workers must often tolerate inappropriate behavior from customers, co-workers, and management,” the report says. “This dynamic contributes to the restaurant industry’s status as the single largest source of sexual harassment claims in the U.S.”

8. It’s Arbitrary

We like to think of our tips as a reflection of how well a server did his or her job. But in reality, the reasons we tip are often irrational. Research has found that we tend to tip waiters more if they touch us on the arm or draw a sun or a smiley face on our check. We also tip servers who wear red or squat next to the table more than we do servers who wear other colors or remain vertical while working.

What’s more, lots of people like tipping because they believe it gives them power — they think that leaving a small tip, or no tip at all, sends a message to a server that he or she needs to do a better job next time. (See Steve Buscemi’s “Reservoir Dogs” rant, above.) In reality, multiple waiters I spoke to for this story said that getting a substandard tip tells them very little.

“If you had a bad experience, say something to your waiter, say it to a manager, but don’t say it with your money,” said my friend Sage, who has spent years waiting tables and managing various New York restaurants. “There could be a million reasons your experience wasn’t good. But you leaving a 10 or 15 percent tip with no explanation, it tells me nothing.”

9. At High-End Restaurants, Tipping Creates Income Inequality Between Waiters And Kitchen Staff

As already mentioned, for many servers in cheaper restaurants, the tipped minimum wage contributes to poverty. But in high-end restaurants, tipping leads to a different form of income inequality. When menu prices are higher, servers often end up making a lot more in tips than kitchen staff, who have equally valuable skills but are often paid modest wages.

Because the Fair Labor Standards Act restricts servers from sharing their tips with workers who aren’t directly engaged in customer service, some upscale restaurants have banned tipping altogether in favor of a service charge, which those restaurants can use to pay their employees more equitably.

The restaurants Next and Alinea are sister establishments in Chicago. Neither is cheap. (With wine pairings, the bill at either restaurant can easily exceed $300 for one person.) Customers at Next and Alinea pay a mandatory 20 percent service charge, a system that co-owner Nick Kokonas says allows him to pay all his employees a fair, performance-based wage, whether they’re waiters or sous-chefs.

“Before, we could only share gratuities, which were a large portion of our revenue, with a small amount of the staff” — namely, the servers, Kokonas said. Having a service charge “allows us to run a much more balanced and efficient operation.”

Getting Rid Of Tipping Will Take Time

A bill introduced last year, the Fair Minimum Wage Act, would re-couple the hourly wage for tipped workers to the minimum wage. If it passes, every restaurant in the country would have to pay servers a rate equal to 70 percent of the national minimum wage. But the bill is opposed by the restaurant lobby and a number of Republican lawmakers, and it has only a minute chance of passing this year.

Still, despite political opposition, there’s public support for both a higher national minimum wage and a higher wage for tipped workers. A 2004 poll cited by Lynn in his research paper “Tipping and Its Alternatives” found that only 22 percent of respondents said they would prefer waiters to be paid in tips instead of regular wages. Thirty-four percent said they had no opinion, while 44 percent said they would prefer waiters to be paid a guaranteed wage. Still, people love to tip. A survey conducted by Azar in 2010 found that 60 percent of Americans prefer tipping to a service charge.

Why are we so enamored of this strange, antiquated custom?

Michael McGuan, a former manager at the Linkery, a now-closed San Diego restaurant that was one of the first to outlaw tipping, offered some insight into why we’re so gratuity-obsessed. Speaking to The New York Times Magazine in 2008, McGuan said that Linkery customers would sometimes get offended when told they weren’t allowed to tip.

“I’ll go over to the table and ask if there is a problem with the service. If there is, then I offer to remove the service charge,” McGuan said. “Almost always, the customers’ issue isn’t about the service but about not being able to handle their loss of control.”

Sourced from huffingtonpost.com

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Oct
17

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20 Things You Learn About People When You Work In Retail

Category: Retail Stories Tags: , Leave a Comment

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When I was 23, I went through a premature Quarter Life Crisis. After much (read: little) deliberation, I quit my full-time digital marketing job and started working part-time at a women’s clothing store while I tried to ‘find’ myself. I ended up helping a lot of grumpy old ladies try on sweaters that had birds on them. But I learned a hell of a lot about people in the process.

1. Sometimes people freak out if you force them to make eye contact with you. In a world where we spend most of our time on our phone, stalking Brittany-from-high-school’s Instagram and being pissed about how skinny she is, we’re completely startled if we have to actually look someone in the eye. Working in retail is like a game of seeing how many different places someone can look before they are finally forced to stare into your terrifying face.

2. Coupons confuse people. If they bring in a “Buy One Get One Half-Off” coupon from March 2012 and you inform them that they can’t use it because it’s almost three years old, they are flabbergasted. And you are the devil.

3. If there is a decorative chair in your store, husbands will fall asleep in it while they wait for their significant other to finish trying on scarves. Sometimes they will drool and snore. You will get more used to this than you’d like.

4. When you’re forced to lie and tell a woman that a dress looks good on her, your voice will go up three octaves.

5. If you ask someone if they would like to open a credit card, they will launch into a story about how their identity was stolen and how this is directly your fault.

6. If a store closes at 9, one person will come in at 8:58 and think nothing of it. When you turn off the music at 9:00, they will not pick up on the fact that this is your passive aggressive way of saying “Get the f*ck out, I have places to be and bags of wine to drink.”

7. People forget that the world doesn’t revolve around them. One time, a woman entered the store while I was working and said, “Have you gotten any new pants since the last time I was in here?” She was confused when I informed her that I did not keep track of her daily schedule, nor did I know when she had last been in the store.

8. People will believe anything you say if you sound sure enough about it. I made up more information about corduroy pants than I care to admit, but hey, it kept my imagination active. And no, the material in corduroy pants does not help you lose weight.

9. People assume you should know everything about their life. In the ten months that I spent working at this particular store, the amount of times that someone pointed to a sweater and said “would that fit my mother-in-law?” was approximately 7. Each time that I had to say “I’m sorry, your mother-in-law is not standing in front of me so I don’t know,” a part of me died inside.

10. Women always whisper the word “fat.” If they’re asking you how they look in a dress, they’ll say “Yeah but I don’t want to look…” Pause. Whisper. “Fat.” Every time you say the word “fat” out loud in a retail store, Grey’s Anatomy is renewed for another season.

11. Some people are just happy to be alive. They are delighted by the simplest things, such as you offering to wrap their sweater in tissue paper. Find a way to shrink these people and carry them around in your pocket, because they are awesome.

12. A black sweater means two completely different things to men and women. If a man comes in looking for a black sweater for his wife, he wants something black and sweater-ish. If a woman comes in looking for a black sweater, she means that she wants something cute, but like not in-your-face, but not like you’re trying too hard, but it has to be fancy, but I don’t want to sweat too much in it, but it needs to match a skirt I have in my closet that you’ve never seen, but you need to pick a sweater that will match that skirt even though you’ve never seen the skirt.

13. After a certain age, people just don’t give a shit. I worked in a clothing store that tended to draw older women, and I saw enough granny panties to last me a lifetime. Once people hit a certain age, they’ll just fling their dressing room door right open and show you everything they’ve got. You will be surprised at how quickly you become immune to this.

14. Nothing pisses off an angry person more than being annoyingly nice to them. So if a customer is rude to you, tell them to have a nice day in the most sickly sweet voice you can muster. It will ruin them.

15. People will keep buying velvet pants, no matter how hard you try to convince them not to.

16. “Would you like your receipt with you or in the bag?” is sometimes the most complicated thing you could ever ask a person. Because if they’re playing Angry Birds at the same time that they’re talking to you and trying to purchase six blouses, they’re not paying attention to a word you’re saying.

17. People will tell you when you’re wrong, but not when you’re right. If they think you did the math wrong when you ring up their stuff, they will patronizingly explain to you why their purchase should be less than what it is. When you explain that it is all automatic on the computer and show them why the amount is correct, they will make a simple “Hghm” noise and leave the store quietly.

18. Everyone shops for the version of themselves that weighs ten pounds less than they are. This is human nature. When a woman really wanted a pair of jeans but they were a little snug, she always said “well, obviously they’re going to fit better when I lose a few pounds. I’ll get them!” My thought was always why not get the correct size AND get to have pizza? But I was alone in that.

19. People will tell you their least favorite part of their body as a sort of defense mechanism. If they’re modeling a pair of pants for you, they’ll tell you that they have massive thighs before coming out of the fitting room, as if this will prevent you from ever thinking it or saying it too.

20. People assume you have the answer to everything, no matter what the question is. One time a woman came out of her dressing room, looked at me, and pointed to a pile of clothes on the floor. “How much will that all cost together but with 30% off three of the shirts?” she asked, as if she expected me to pull a calculator out of my ass and figure it out on the spot. I was tempted to tell her that this wasn’t some kind of Good Will Hunting secret genius scenario, but instead I raised my voice three octaves to sound less like I wanted to punch her, and said I would go figure it out for her.

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com

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Oct
16

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16 People You See At Restaurants (And What Waiters Really Think Of Them)

Category: Life as a Server Tags: , Leave a Comment

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1. The Single DILF/MILF

Hi. Yes, I am hitting on you and yes, I am aware that you don’t have a ring on your finger and I don’t even care that you have a toddler sitting on your lap. I’m going to have every other waiter in the restaurant come ogle at your attractiveness and I’m not ashamed if you catch me staring at you. I realize that you could probably be twice my age but that’s not what I’m thinking about. Don’t worry, most of us won’t make it that obvious that we think you’re a DILF/MILF, and no, we won’t ask anything personal about your significant other or how many other kids you have. You’re just nice eye candy that we enjoy every once in a while.
Alright, not every DILF/MILF are single, sadly, and I will probably glance at you a few times but I don’t want your wife/husband to think I’m creeping so I’ll stay away, but just know you are a gorgeous human being.

2. The Family

I love you guys, for the most part. I don’t mind if your kid spills their drink and I have to get another one — if you’re polite. I don’t mind if it takes you a little longer to order — if you’re nice to me. But if your child is standing on the booth singing “Let it Go” and you’re not stopping them, I hate you. I’m sure you’re aware that your child doesn’t sound like Idina Menzel or Kristen Bell, but you’re clearly unaware that your child is now disturbing the whole restaurant. Everyone is giving you death glances from across the way, but you are so oblivious to how bothersome it is that you don’t stop them. And on top of that you get pissed off when a manager tells you, you need to quiet your kid. You realize you’re not the only table in here, right? Don’t go out to eat if you can’t control you’re little beasts. Also if I ask how old your son is, for the love of God, don’t say 42 and a half months.

3. The Large Party

Oh boy, it’s your daughter’s 2nd birthday? Tell me why it’s necessary to call all your relatives from out of town to have a grand dinner party at my restaurant. Don’t be fooled by our fake smiles we plaster on before we greet you, we are not excited to serve you. We have had too many bad experiences and I’m sorry but we aren’t going to expect anything more from you. I don’t care if one person in your party of 20 doesn’t know what they want yet, I am going to start writing down the other’s orders because it is going to take me 20 minutes to get through this. I do apologize if I come off pushy but the host just sat me again, my other table has a complaint and I’m not even halfway done. Once I am done taking your order it would be great if you saved your drink for the meal instead of me having to refill 15 sweet teas every 5 minutes. Also don’t ignore me when I’m delivering your food; if I look like I’m handing you a plate, please take it, it’s hot and I no longer have fingerprints. If it’s not your food, I apologize but my extend-o-arms can’t reach six feet in front of me, have you ever heard of passing? And then the check — yes, I will split every single one of your bills if you would like, but don’t say “I’m paying for little Johnny.” I don’t know who that is and odds are you’re going to have a random meal put on your bill. And no, I will not split your fried pickles order 9 ways.

4. The Loner

If you’re in a rush and by yourself, I like you. You have a 30 minute lunch break and you know what you want when you walk in the door. Thank you. Now if you come in by yourself and open up your iPad, newspaper, or book, you need to walk out those doors and go somewhere else. I understand that you have some catching up to do on 50 Shades of Grey for your middle-age crisis book club, but here is not the time or place, do that in the privacy of your own home please

5. The “I’m Gluten Free”

If you are allergic to dairy, pepper, wheat, nuts and red meat, I don’t know why you’re eating out. Go home and make yourself a meal. I will try my best to tell the kitchen about your complex diet and weak stomach but don’t blame me when you go home and kill your bathroom. And to the customers who are lying about your allergies? We know, especially when you order no butter on your baked potato but I saw you shove three rolls in your mouth before I got to your table.

6. The Asshole

There are so many varieties of the asshole.
There are the Old People Assholes: To you old, rude people, I hope I never see you again. You think you know it all since you’ve been around since 1901, but really you’re just closed-minded and have a short temper. I don’t want your opinions on my tattoos and gauges and don’t think you’re complementing me if you say I’m too pretty for said tattoos and piercings. It’s my body, back off and I already have two sets of old people breathing down my neck about it.

Then there are The Complainer Assholes: I am truly sorry that your salad bowl is too cold for you and your steak has too many grill marks on it, if you think you’re some chef, be my guest and go in the back and complain to them. I’m your server. I don’t make your salads and cook your food. If something is wrong with your meal, don’t yell at me and tell me I’m “ruining your mother’s birthday” because you’re the real problem. Also don’t tell me you’re not going to pay for something. If you’re not going to eat it and we can’t do anything for you, my manager will take it off your bill, but the last thing I was to hear when I’m helping another table is, “Did you hear me? I’m not paying for this!” Yes, asshole, I heard you the first ten times. Now go back to your table, sit your happy ass down, and put a smile on your face because people are starting to stare. Oh, and thanks for the big fat zero on my tip line. Do you feel better?

The “Last Time I Came Here” Assholes: I am sorry that the last time you came here, we had baked beans, but for the last time, we took that off our menu two years ago and no we aren’t going to special make them for you because they were your favorite side dish. Now learn how to read our menu or go home.

The Last Minute Asshole: If you come in 10 minutes before we close, you are considered an asshole, no exceptions.

Then there’s just The Regular Asshole: I can’t do anything to make you happy and you have something rude to say every time I come by. I can’t wait for you to leave and I am sorry for whatever put you in this terrible mood but a restaurant is the last place you should go if you’re in a bad mood. I’ll take it like a champ but I’m not going to go out of my way to bring you an extra side of ranch or get you a to-go drink. You deserve to have cotton mouth on the way home.

7. The Comedian

Yes, my name is “Bri” like the cheese, and no this is not the first time I’ve heard that joke, and no, I don’t appreciate being called the “cheese lady,” but I’m not going to tell you that. I will still laugh at your joke and watch as your family rolls there eyes. The comedian can be an entertaining guest that can brighten my hour but will eventually get forgotten. For the most part, we have heard every joke in the book, thanks for the effort though. Just because my shirt says “I love my job” doesn’t mean you have to make a comment about it, and no, they don’t pay us to wear it.

Side note, if you’re going to make a joke about anything involving my tip or the bill, I will spit in your food. Just kidding, but really we’re all poor and worried about making this month’s rent, don’t joke about it.

8. The Flirt

Thank you for being nice to me, but no, I don’t want to grab a coffee on my break; no, I don’t want to give you my number and I definitely don’t want to see what you look like in the morning. I find it humorous when a customer thinks we are hitting on them when really we are just being polite. In reality, I would be fired if I told you to back the fuck off for being a pervert. You think you’re smooth by asking for my number and all I can think about is how to avoid this awkward situation and still get a good tip. Thank you for the gesture, but I’m going to go tell everyone in the back how creepy you were.

9. The Drunk

You are loud and obnoxious, but the bartender won’t turn you away because she is going to get a big tip out of you, even if it is 20 minutes past closing and I have to wait for all the guests to leave. You are not to be confused with the flirt or comedian but could be a mix of the two after you’ve thrown a few back. There’s a bar across the street, buddy, you need to get out of here.

10. The Long-Lost Friends

I am so glad that you have found each other once again and are talking about all your memories together and everything that has changed in your life. But please get out of my section, now. I am going to interrupt you mid-sentence, I’m not trying to be rude but y’all put up this force field making it impossible for me to politely ask you what you want to order. I like that I don’t have to talk to you guys but I don’t like being ignored. When I’m asking how you want to pay the bill and you guys start to fight over it, just realize I am internally screaming at you. Whatever you do, you long-lost friends, please don’t stay here all night. I can point you in the direction of seven different Starbucks if you want to just hang out and chat.

11. The Waiter/Waitress

I respect that you too are a waiter/waitress, but realize that I am only taking extra good care of you because I know you’re judging my every movement. I’m not really interested in your horror stories about the table you had that one night because I am probably having a table like that right now. Also if you are or have been a waiter you should know to not chill in my section all night. You of all people know that we need to turn and burn those suckers and I don’t want you staying there, no matter how much we have in common. I don’t go to restaurants and tell my waiter that I am also a waiter because I don’t want to expect anything more from them than I already do. Respect the waiter code, sit down, order, pay, leave.

12. The Compliment Tipper

If you write on the bill “excellent service” or “outstanding job” but leave a 10% tip, know that we despise you. Thank you for the kind words, did you know that my bank will accept these compliments for paying off my credit card bill? Just stop. If you don’t have enough money to tip well, then don’t come out to eat. I’m glad you thought I was nice and had good service but that’s not really what I’m looking for. If I did a good job, you can show me by tipping me.

13. The Geeks

You guys are the best. I love your “I am the Doctor” t-shirts, pink wigs, Deathly Hallows tattoos, and your insight on the world of Rivendell. However, don’t pull out your HearthStone and Pokémon cards and have a full-out battle, it’s weird. And now I just think that you’re going to stay here all night until your Charmander beats his Blastoise. It’s just not going to happen, sorry bro. Like I’ve said, I can point you in the direction of seven different Starbucks, or I’m sure one of your parents’ basements is open for the night. Otherwise y’all are interesting people and we have a lot in common and I’m thrilled when you draw on my receipts and tip well.

14. The Teenagers

We all see you walk in with your young, acne-ridden faces and daddy’s credit card, and we run. You don’t know the first thing about being in a restaurant, how to order for yourself, how to be quiet, or how to tip us. Granted, there are a few teenagers that will surprise us from time to time. Especially if you are included in the Waiter/Waitress category, because they understand how a restaurant works. But can’t you all just stay home and let your parents cook for you? I wish my mom still made me dinner every night. Also I hate you for making me refill your half sweet/unsweet, strawberry with a splash of raspberry tea six times.

15. The Regulars

Please sit in our section, request us as your server. Hell, sit out of our section, across the street and down a block and we will come running for you. If you are polite, tip well, and understand the basic concepts of our job, everyone will love you, know your order back to front, and nothing will ever come out wrong. Now if you are a regular, but you smell bad, tip poorly, and always ask to sit in “the blonde’s section,” we will know you, we will hate you. Go home, take a shower, find something more interesting than the blondes at our restaurant to be infatuated with, and don’t be a regular here.

16. The First-Time Guests

Welcome to (insert restaurant here). I will gladly tell you our veggie of the day and explain what comes on your filet salad. But if you don’t understand the difference between medium-rare and medium, or what ranch dressing tastes like, then you’re gonna have a bad time. The last thing I want is a clueless table that has seemed to have never eaten out. Ever. Were you born yesterday? If so, welcome to planet Earth, please get your shit together.

 

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com

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