While bull penis, or pizzle, is often sold as something for dogs to gnaw on, and it can be — and sometimes is — eaten by humans, it’s not cool to take something out of a package that’s labeled as unfit for human consumption and then sell it to people. But according to the Texas Attorney General’s office, that’s what one grocery store in Austin was caught doing.
Pizzle is usually sold as “bully treats,” for dogs in the U.S., though some believe the high-protein, low-fat meat is a stamina-boosting aphrodisiac. (photo: Gergely Vass)
The AG has filed a civil complaint against the store and some of its employees for allegedly selling “non-inspected, adulterated and misbranded beef pizzle as human food.”
KXAN-TV reports that employees are accused of unpacking the pizzle from packaging labeled “inedible” and “not intended for human use” then sold the penises with other products for humans to eat.
The deception alleged isn’t that the store was trying to pass off pizzle as a different type of meat. It’s that the store tried to trick shoppers into thinking that this was human-grade beef pizzle by repackaging the stuff with labels falsely indicating that the meat had been inspected and was from a registered source.
The store faces a fine of $5,000 for the pizzle hijinks.
These gross concoctions might have an incredibly long shelf life – but we would rather put our hunter-gatherer skills to the test than try them
Food? Canned grossness
These are some of the most disgusting foods you won’t believe actually exist.
Even if we were stranded on a desert island, we cannot imagine these foods looking appetising.
We’re all for long shelf lives and convenience – but some food is not meant to be in a tin, while others should just be left alone full stop.
McCanned
Not gourmet: These burgers are unlikely to be at the top end of anyone’s budget
Burgers in a can probably don’t fit in with the current trend for gourmet beef in brioche buns at £10 a pop.
Developed by a German camping company, they are not exactly food on the go as they have to be boiled in hot water while still in the can.
They also take 10 minutes to cook – about the same time it takes to grill a real burger then…
Roast in tin
In the can: Whole chicken, cooked with water and salt, no giblets
Have you ever wondered if there was a way you could cook a full Sunday roast without using as much oven space? Possibly.
Ever thought about eating an entire chicken from a can? Us neither.
Despite the pale colour of the chicken when taken out, it is actually already cooked and just needs to be reheated in a pan of boiling water.
Just scrape the weird gelatinous substance off the outside and you’re good to go.
Are ewe kidding?
Infested: Casu Marzu is a cheese made from sheep’s milk which is also home to maggots
Cheese, hot weather and an infestation of flies are rarely a good combination.
But apparently there is an exception. If you like your cheese hard, smelly, with a few thousand maggots inside and an aftertaste which lasts for hours, then get your crackers out.
This Sardinian cheese is what happens when Pecorino decomposes because of all the larvae and maggots of the “cheese fly” living inside it.
Some people remove the maggots – which can be up to eight millimetres long – before they eat this cheese.
Others do not.
No.2 beer
Refreshing: Elephant Dung Beer is made by a Japanese brewery and actually quite popular
Everyone enjoys their after-work pint, but we might feel a little differently if we knew that beer contained poo.
Made from elephant dung, this beer from a Japanese brewery is actually extremely popular.
It is made using coffee beans extracted from elephant poo – but apparently the poo doesn’t make it into the final drink. Just the beans which have been in the poo.
Well, that’s all right then.
Brain food
Lumpy: Pork Brains with milk gravy look more like dog food than potted meat
Will eating brains make you smarter?
Probably not – and if it means eating these pork brains in milk gravy, we’d rather not find out.
Described as having a potted meat taste, with the consistency of cooked chicken livers and the look of vomit, we don’t think this will find its way on to our plates anytime soon.
Bottled bacon
Squeeze it: Squeez Bacon is pre-cooked bacon you can squeeze right out of the tube
Don’t you just hate all the effort a bacon sandwich takes to make? Having to put bacon AND sauce on to bread.
Well now you can combine the two thanks to Squeez Bacon, it’s bacon that you squeeze out of a bottle.
Already cooked, you can eat Squeez Bacon straight from the tube. If you want to. Which we don’t.
Candwich
Packed lunch: Candwich is a food product and lunch box in one
If even that feels like too much effort then you need Candwich – a sandwich which, needless to say, comes ready made in a can.
It’s like a pre-made sandwich you get from the fridge at the front of the supermarket – only it lasts longer and has never seen the sun.
Candwich comes in Peanut Butter and Jelly or Honey BBQ Chicken varities.
Yes, it’s American.
It will last forever
Preserved: This Canned Bacon will last up to 10 years and can be eaten straight from the can
Okay, this bacon won’t actually last forever – but 10 years is a long time to be able to keep meat.
Layers of bacon are separated by grease proof paper and then rolled up in order to fit into the can.
Just unroll your bacon and eat it straight from the can.
Perfect for people living in underground bunkers who hate cooking.
I didn’t know you could eat that part…
Unusual: Canned Fish Balls are common in Scandinavia but rarely used in the UK
If you’re thinking this is a part of the anatomy you didn’t know fish had, you’d be right.
Usually made from cod, the balls are made from the fillet and some seasoning.
Apparently they are often used in curries and stews in Scandinavian countries, but we’re not convinced.
Does that say peeled?
Bad enough: Eating tongue
If the thought of eating a lamb’s tongue is enough to put you off your dinner, you probably shouldn’t look any closer at the label.
The lamb tongues in this tin have been peeled.
And a good job too. Is there anything more horrible than eating an unpeeled tongue?
A KFC employee in the UK was recently suspended after a post on Facebook alleged that she added a little dash of her to a recent order.
According to WalesOnline, a message on Facebook’s “Spotted Cardiff” page, an anonymous page for people who “need to get something off (their) chest,” alleged that a KFC employee in Cardiff added pubic hair to an order to exact revenge on a group of rude girls.
“We have investigated this incident and although there was an altercation in the drive-thru between the customers and a member of our team, we do not believe the food was contaminated in any way. We have the highest standards of food hygiene and do not tolerate even the suggestion of this kind of behaviour, and therefore the employee was suspended as soon as the matter came to our attention.”
Moral of the story: stop telling women to smile. (Also: stop posting things online.)
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