The Shit Only People Working In Retail Will Understand

If you’ve worked in retail for any amount of time you’ve probably developed a smoking habit, cynical attitude and lost hope in humanity. Dealing with rude customers, annoying managers, and endless shifts all for minimum wage should be recognised as a crime. These are the things that every retail worker has had to endure in their time.

26. Being expected to stop thieves.

You work on the register or in the stock room, but somehow you’re also expected to tackle a 6″5′ fleeing thief. Hire a security guard for Christ’s sake, that’s not in your job description.

25. Customers throwing money on the counter rather than placing it in your outstretched hand.

There is nothing more infuriating than this ignorant a**hole! Clearly seeing your hand waiting to accept the money, they drop their change on the counter and expect you to pick it up, one coin at a time.

24. When you have to tell a customer their card is declined.

The awkward face EVERY retail worker makes at this moment.

23. Customers making a mess.

You sometimes feel like they are doing this purely to piss you off!

22. Rude customers.

There is nothing worse than having to deal with an ignorant customer, struggling to maintain that fake smile on your face.

21. Customers letting their spawn roam wild and free.

If you must go shopping with your complete family, for the love of God, please don’t bring them all up to the register to pay. Believe it or not, only one person is needed for this mighty task.

20. Dealing with “cute” couple fights over who is paying.

Just give me the money. Go enact your strange financial foreplay somewhere else.

19. Wandering off in the middle of a transaction.

Someone sees cousin Mary enter the store and leaves during the transaction to catch up on the last thirty years.

18. Customers blaming you for stuff out of your control.

Someone freaks out at you because the price isn’t what it says on the label. They seem to feel like your job is also to MAKE the prices, but this is actually not the case. Find someone else to take out your frustration of being overcharged €2 on.

17. The fake laugh and smile you’ve mastered.

Everybody has their fake retail smile. It gets harder and harder to maintain the longer you work there!

16. People paying you with a mountain of change.

Yes, we don’t mind taking your change but within bloody reason. We don’t want to count 2000 1c coins when there’s a queue of 10 people behind you!

15. The Customer is almost NEVER right!

Vehemently arguing that a product is overpriced, only for us to show you that you were actually looking at the completely wrong label, or you hadn’t realised that the price was in EURO, not pound sterling!

14. You and your friends work completely different shifts.

The little fun you used to have in work has been taken away from you by your manager. Now you’re stuck working with the employees your least compatible with, in order to ensure you’re never happy at work.

13. “Can I pay part card/part cash?”

WHY do you have to be so awkward? You really shouldn’t have to divide up a subtotal of €15 by cash and card.

12. Customers who move at an obnoxiously slow pace when there is a massive queue behind them.

Anybody who moves THAT slow clearly is doing it on purpose. I don’t care how old you are. Shift it sister!

11. A half hour break is simply not enough for the hell you have to put up with each day.

Time doesn’t seem to apply during working hours. 30 minutes break is a totally different amount of time than 30 minutes on the register.

10. You agree to cover someone’s shift and immediately wish you could go back in time to change your decision.

“Why did I just do that?” The worst part is that the other person never returns the favour.

9. A customer has mistaken you for a qualified therapist.

We don’t want to hear about your life struggles at 5pm on a Tuesday evening. Just take your purchases and head for the exit please.

8. People entering the shop and meandering around the store at closing time!

Are these people actually serious? Despite what they might think, we actually do have other things to do and would like to leave when our shift ends. If you want to wander aimlessly around the store at closing time, please pay me extra for allowing you to do do.

7. Trying to text without your boss seeing you.

Texting your friends under the register that you’ll need them to pick you up a copious amount of alcohol to forget about your job for the briefest of moments, without your boss catching you.

6. Having to deal with drunk or high customers.

The worst of the worst. Slurring their words and gazing hoplessly into your eyes. The stink of alcohol pouring into your nostrils as you try your best to deal with their dire antics.

5. Telling a customer that there is in fact a queue in your store.

Yes, there is actually a line that you must enter, not just burst your way to the head of the register. And then they get pissy with you for telling them nicely.

4. The terribly annoying retail jokes that we hear ALL the time.

You’ll immediately recognise these. “Do you take cash?” Haha good one! Yes, we do actually accept cash… Now hand it over.

3. Infuriating “witty” retorts from customers.

when an item doesn’t scan: “It must be free.” Or even worse. You’ve endured a 3 hour blitz of customers and are enjoying your first sip of water and the temporary silence, when you here: “Oh you must need something to do?!”

2. You’re not above breaking your phone in order to avoid being called into work on your day off.

You’ve thought about it. Either turning your phone off or pinging it off a wall because you just give up. Nothing is worse than going into that place on your day off.

1. Your outlook on life has completely changed after working in retail.

You’ve developed a cynical attitude and your hope for humanity is completely drained.

 

Sourced from collegetimes.com