confessions Archives - Page 6 of 8 - I Hate Working In Retail

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Clopening at Starbucks: A Baristas Most Dreaded Shift

Coping with Clopening: Retail Worker’s Most Dreaded Shift
by Liberté Locke

I drag my broken jittery body home through the maze of late night construction New York City subways. I finally reach my quiet apartment where the only ones up are our three cats screaming for food and persistently walking just where I’m trying to walk. Tonight I manage to not step on them but usually, in this state, I can’t help it. I apologize with head-pettings and catnip. I feed the cats and then remember that I spent my entire lunch break at work chain smoking away that last extremely rude customer I had before clocking for my break instead of eating the ramen noodles that I brought. I open the fridge and realize that every meal possible would take way more work than I have in me so I close the door.

I go to the bathroom and while peeing set my alarm on my phone. This is a ritual. I’ve learned in the past that it is completely possible after a closing shift that I may just fall asleep in the bathroom. And if not the bathroom, maybe while sitting up trying to eat a late meal or laying on the couch watching tv. So setting my alarm as soon as I get home is crucial. Being late to work when I’m targeted by management (because of being a union organizer) is not an option, ever.

I’m awake enough from all the caffeine I consumed at my job, Starbucks, that I don’t fall asleep in the bathroom but I do spend ten minutes fumbling brainlessly through the clean laundry I didn’t have time to put up. I’m looking for something loose to sleep in – it takes so long because twice I forget entirely why I’m digging through the bag and I start putting laundry up thinking that is what I what I meant to be doing. I then suddenly stop, thinking to myself, “it’s too late for this, I’m exhausted. Go to bed. Go to bed.” I finally change and go into the living room to watch tv. I already know that going straight to bed, no matter how tired I am, won’t work. I have to turn off my brain first. Without some distraction my brain will just fill will endless To-Do lists. My responsibilities pile up. All the things I need to get done combine with what I’d like to get done. I’m filled with regret for what I was unable to get done with my day because of having work and then being too exhausted to do anything else. I’m so tired that petty concerns really consume me. I think and re-think about Facebook status updates to reflect my exhaustion and busyness just praying that all the crucial folks will see it and realize why I haven’t returned their phone calls, emails, or finished my deadlines for different projects. These lists go on and on but I’m too tired to even hold a pen to write the lists down. I stare at the tv, my eyes blurring and I recite in my head, before the characters even say it, the various lines for that episode of the Simpsons. In my years of sleepless nights, I’m certain I’ve memorized the majority of the series. I still haven’t learned Spanish but I can recite an entire animated TV show. This is what this job does to me. I’m awake but unable to be productive. My time is not my own. I’m clocked out, at home, supposedly on my own time but I’m just in and out of consciousness. In between making lists and reciting the Simpsons I’m dwelling on fucked up interactions with customers. I’m wondering if that coworker was right about the company changing the amount of green tea powder we put into Green Tea Lattes. I’m concerned that when I left the store I forgot to restock the straws at the handoff plane. After about an hour of this I go on Facebook on my phone, which I’m holding with my hand resting on the bed because I can’t bare to lift it. I scroll through, beating myself up because I only have the energy to hit “like” but not really comment on my friends’pages even when people are really considerate and write on mine often. Then I think I’m too hard on myself but dismiss that and feel bad again. The caffeine from work, the adrenaline from the fast-paced job, the exhaustion of my body and mind, with the lack of good nutrition – I’m spent. I look at the time and realize I have 3 hours before I have to get up, look presentable, get on the train and head to another shift of the same rush, rush, rush of the day before. I have what retail workers dread the most – a clopening. I just closed the store and have to return to work to open the store tomorrow. This is very common in the retail world. Where computers jumble workers like numbers and generate schedules without a concern for the humans involved. This is where bosses see us as machines. Plug us into whatever shift they’d like without the slightest consideration. I realize that if I don’t pass out this minute then I’ll be missing even more sleep. I need to sleep immediately but years ago I knew that sleeping pills would not be useful. You need to “dedicate a full night of sleep” claims the label and I have 3 hours. I reach for many a baristas’ sleep aid – a pipe loaded with weed. Weed’s supposed to be recreational but in this context it’s truly medicinal. I smoke and pass out. I wake up dehydrated, probably from smoking and so much coffee. I press snooze up until I know I have to haul ass to get out the door. I run to the train, cram into it, stand for a hour of transit and just when my knees feel like they will give out – ding, and the train doors open at my stop for work. I stumble out, stepping on some poor woman’s foot and my attempt to apologize comes out almost a whisper, raspy and inaudible. I look at the doors to my job and curse myself for not getting up early enough to have coffee before starting my shift.

I think is this for real? Is this my life? I’ve been a barista for nearly six years and have known hundreds of baristas. My story is extremely common and unites many of us. We know that we are paid from the time we clock in till the time we clock out. Wage theft, in the traditional sense, is not usually a problem at this large public company. Generally we’re paid for the time we clock, however I can’t help but feel like my traveling to work, the time and money it takes to acquire my uniform and keep it clean, the money I spend on weed just to bring me down from the caffeine I ingest to be alert in a job where burns, slips, and falls are common – that money should be reimbursed. I feel like I can’t be productive. All I got done in the evening, on my own time, was feeding my cats and I had considered skipping it out of effort. I can’t help but know that my time is not my own. These are the hours I work unpaid. My waking, productive hours are owned and controlled by the bosses that in return give me my paycheck while I’ve helped create a huge profit for my employer. My exhausted, useless, painful hours surrounding my shifts are on the house, for free, and that’s the time I feel costs me the most.

We are not machines. Treating us like machines only makes us break down. Sleep deprivation is widespread in my field. Lack of restful sleep contributes to depression and bad health. When we take a job we’re aware of certain sacrifices of time and swallowing our pride time and again in the face of rude customers and demanding management. What few focus on is all the other sacrifices we make when sacrificing our time. I want so desperately to have control over my own labor. These are my skills, I’ve honed them. This is my body, I’m responsible for it. Given those two things I can’t understand why the large profits go to bosses living in luxury and the pain, effort, and sacrifice is coming from those in poverty that already have to do everything else for themselves on top of going to work.

Yes, Howard Schultz – the CEO of Starbucks – must be a pretty busy person. However, I doubt he’s a have to work till 2am, rush home to haul laundry to a public 24-hr Laundromat in order to have clean apron for the next morning shift, feed animals, feed children, clean house, run errands, cook your own food, help out your neighbor, work two underpaid jobs, and then truly not know the next time you’ll be able to get a full night’s sleep kind of busy person. Wealthy people hire working people to do all their errands. They hire us to make their money and hire us to keep them comfortable while we’re making them their money. Yet when I speak openly about needing weed to sleep so I can return to work after closing it conjures thoughts of laziness. “Those poor people always using drugs.” I use my union more than I use drugs. I don’t know how worse off I’d be if I never learned to fight back at work. Clopenings are common place for many people but because of my organizing a clopening is rare. Bosses know we hate and resent being scheduled for one. They try to appease me from time to time but because it’s not about me but about all workers, I get just as riled up when I learn my coworkers must clopen. A couple days after a coworker works a clopen I’ll call them and say, “you know, we were never meant to live this way.

Sourced from recomposition.com

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THE WEIRDEST ORDERS WAITERS HAVE EVER GOTTEN, ACCORDING TO REDDIT

SHUTTERSTOCK (EDITED)

Your gross friend who orders General Tso’s with brown rice isn’t the only weirdo who frequents restaurants. There’s a whole population of inscrutable eaters out there, and servers from all over recently took to Reddit to out those freaks. While the entire “Waiters of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous order someone’s placed…?” thread is unbelievable, these were eight of our favorites. May you never encounter the heathen who requested microwaved root beer.

8. No-pepperoni pepperoni pizza

“A lady calls and orders a ‘small pepperoni pizza with no pepperoni’ I clarify and ask her ‘So just a small cheese?’ To which the woman, clearly annoyed by my lack of understanding , says ‘NO. A small pepperoni with no pepperoni.’ I again clarify and ask ‘You want a pizza with sauce and cheese only?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Ok so a cheese pizza.’ ‘NO I WANT A SMALL PEPPERONI WITH NO PEPPERONI.’

We made her a cheese pizza. She didn’t call and complain. Still not sure what the f*** she thought she was ordering.”

7. A “regular” filet mignon

“Had a lady order our filet mignon, when it was brought out to her she said with disgust that she had ordered the filet, not a steak. She proceeded to argue that a filet mignon was a type of baked potato rather than a steak.

EDIT: Damn this blew up, and when asked how she wanted it cooked she looked puzzled and said ‘regular’ which I took as meaning medium.”

6. The “Doughnut Explosion”

“At the Italian restaurant I worked at as a server/bartender/manager for 5 years, we had a lot of regular customers come in and had some strange requests. Most were nothing too special, but one guy would come in 4-5 days a week, and he would never order anything on the menu unless it was a busy night and we wouldn’t have time to ‘get crazy’. On the slower nights though, he would order things with sauces we didnt normally make, or special dessert concoctions (even though we prepared desserts daily, and did not make them to order).

The craziest thing he ever ordered though, was a Doughnut Explosion. To be clear, we did not nor know how to make doughnuts. However, there was a Dunkin Donuts next to our location, and he sent one of his favorite servers next door to pick up a dozen random doughnuts. When he came back, the customer told me which ones he wanted on his dessert, and I proceeded to go back into the kitchen and whip up his dessert to his specification. It consisted of 2 doughnuts, topped with vanilla ice cream, layered between the brownie cake that was our house specialty, and topped with Chambord and a port wine fig sauce that we put on pork chops. This was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen in a restaurant, but he let me try a bite and it was f***ing amazing!”

5. Ice cream sundae, extra Heinz

“Used to be a waiter. Had a family come in and eat. Little boy eventually orders dessert. Vanilla ice cream and ketchup.

Yes, he put the ketchup on the ice cream. No, I didn’t stick around to watch. I would’ve thrown up.”

4. Egg-less omelet

“Over the summer, I had a customer who came in for Sunday brunch and ordered a spinach and feta cheese omelet. She then adds that she would like it made without eggs. I clarified that she wanted an omelet WITHOUT eggs, not made with egg whites which is quite normal.

We made her a spinach feta salad and the customer was happy.”

3. Warm root beer

“I had someone order a warm root beer. As in, stuck in the microwave and heated up. I definitely made a face but I did it. Really sucks to work somewhere that has bottomless pop and be sticking one in the microwave every 15 minutes.”

2. The spaghetti appetizer

“I once had a guy place his order, and then say ‘And give me one of those spaghetti appetizers.’

I had been working there for a couple months, and we had no pasta dishes whatsoever on the menu. I politely tried to clarify this, but he wasn’t having it. He just kept getting more irate. He insisted that he eats here all the time, and he always gets the spaghetti appetizer.

Eventually, he gets up from his table, storms over to another one, and points at what he wants on another diner’s table. He was pointing at their cole slaw. And yes, as far as he was concerned, I was still the asshole for not knowing what he was talking about.

Edit 1: Our slaw was a southern style slaw, where the cabbage is shredded. So, the cabbage is in strings, but you would still have to be some sort of weirdo to confuse it with noodles. And a few people have mentioned a Dane Cook bit. I’m not familiar with that joke, but after doing some googlin’, it appears that is a joke about messing with staff at a restaurant. This happened in 1994, and the customer was an older, well dressed guy out to dinner with his wife. I’m positive he wasn’t f***ing with me, he was just an obnoxious a-hole that expected me to know what his confused mind was talking about.”

1. The dolphin sideshow

“As a waiter at a coastal restaurant, we occasionally had dolphins come in the harbor right to where people would eat. These two old ladies came in and before they placed their orders, demanded I release the dolphins for their amusement. It took a good 10 seconds of silence before I realized they were serious. I passed this request onto my manager and then continued to eat free jumbo shrimp.”

Sourced from thrillist.com

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Confessions of a retail worker

hand of young woman with multi-coloured bags with purchases

{Original Image}

Inspired by the blog post on Elite Daily, “27 Things Anyone Who Works In Retail Wishes You Knew,” I have decided to come up with my own list to hopefully inform all you readers and help you become a more sympathetic shopper. Although the holiday season has already started, the frenzy of last-minute Christmas shoppers only grows greater day by day. As if Black Friday wasn’t terrifying enough, the prospect of working on Boxing Day haunts my dreams. Thankfully, I have not encountered many of the terrible shoppers depicted in the Elite Daily post, but I have come across a few customers who believe that it is my job to kiss their feet and bend to their every whim. Now, I know that none of you wonderful people are overly self-entitled and pretentious, but after reading this post you may find that you are not as innocent as you think. Here are some confessions that I have about working as a retailer.

I am not Customer Service, they are in the center of the mall.

I do not know how long the mall is open every day of the week. I do not know what time Santa Claus will be in the plaza. I do not know where “Store X” is. It is not my job to know any of those things. It is my job to know the details of my own job related to my shift. You are unjustified in getting mad at me for not being able to tell you when the elves will open up the play pen (even more so when I politely direct you to Customer Service).

I don’t know why the clothes are so expensive.

Just because I happen to work for a certain company does not mean I am told every single detail of how the company operates. Sure, that plain purple shirt may be $50 and made out of polyester, but I didn’t make the price. Asking me why the garment is so expensive is not going to make it any cheaper.

I don’t know why we don’t have a certain size, color, or style of clothing.

Should you feel that the brand needs sparkly purple legwarmers in their next line, feel free to email headquarters and make that suggestion. We are not trying to ruin your life or sabotage you by not carrying sparkly purple legwarmers.

I can’t return the item that you bought four months ago.

Where I work, we have a return policy of 30 days. That’s pretty generous considering most retailers give you between 7 and 12 days. If you were not told the return policy/did not ask about it, the receipt clearly outlines the details for you. It isn’t my problem that you live in Alaska and your second cousin three times removed bought you this present a couple months ago and just delivered it to you. The system will not accept your receipt and no amount of sheer will power will change that. Also, verbally abusing the cashier will not change that either. Just try selling it on Kijiji.

Speaking of returns, major holidays are not a good time for you to do a return at all.

It is fairly obvious that the store is busy when the person at the till has not moved for over 45 minutes and the line to the register is not getting any shorter. Thus, when you have waited in line for 15 minutes and there are a good number of people still behind you, it might be a good idea to wait until it’s not Boxing Day to return your item. You’ll get more money out of it anyways.

“I’m not going to shop here” or any variant of this phrase is an empty threat. Most threats are empty.

When someone says this to me, I’m not entirely sure if they believe that they are the only person who will ever shop here or what the mentality is. But unless you were planning to spend about $300 on your purchase, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. If I see you holding a $15 shirt in your hand and you’re complaining how we don’t have your size and then are unwilling to go to another store, it’s not our fault nor is it our company’s fault. There’s a slim-to-none chance that a threat will actually make us feel bad for you.

Chances are that if I can’t help you, there’s little my manager can do.

Though I may still be in the trainee phase to some degree, I’m not incompetent. If an item that is not marked as a sale item is not coming through as a sale item, then chances are that it’s not a sale item. The system doesn’t lie. Even if the item was placed with all the other sale items, you can’t just assume that the item is on sale without checking the price tag. My manager can’t magically wave her wand and give you a discount because you don’t know how to read or extrapolate information.

We understand that you’re in a hurry, the computer doesn’t.

If you literally have 5 minutes before you are supposed to be somewhere, maybe shopping around for the last 20 minutes wasn’t a good idea. No matter how fast our fingers are, there is no way for us to make the computer process something faster. The technology where I work is archaic and trust me, it annoys us more than it annoys you. Maybe try managing your time a little bit better when you go out shopping.

The freshly mopped/swept floor is not a good place for you to track your muddy boots through.

You saw me mop that section of the floor literally five seconds ago, and I’m also sure that you are aware of how dirty your shoes are. Making eye contact with me while I go back and mop the area you just walked through is not awkward for me but I hope that it’s embarrassing for you. It is especially frustrating when a customer only stays in that little area for a couple seconds and doesn’t even pick up an article of clothing. I wouldn’t mop if the store wasn’t busy, so maybe take a hint and notice how everyone else isn’t walking over the area of the floor which is noticeably cleaner than the other areas.

No, I will not get you a discount.

This one is mentioned in the blog post I initially linked, but I felt that I needed to stress the importance of this. If me telling you that I’m not allowed will not convince you to stop bothering me, maybe me telling you that it’s illegal and that we could both potentially get sued will. Yeah, it’s that serious.

Please note that this post is not meant to offend anyone, merely point out some of the annoying habits of human beings that we retailers have to put up with. We’re still humans, too. :)

Sourced from youthareawesome.com

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