barista life Archives - Page 4 of 5 - I Hate Working In Retail

Nov
7

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The 7 Different Types Of People You’ll See In A Coffee Shop

Category: Funny Customers, Just Funny, Life as a Barista, retail lists Tags: , , Leave a Comment

1. The Freelancer

The Freelancer

Christina Luka

Fueled by red eyes and podcasts, the Freelancer gets works done on their MacBook Pro, all while avoiding roommate drama and Netflix distractions. The Freelancer knows your shop’s WiFi password, and knows that those hummus sandwiches have been sitting there for a day too long.

2. The DIY Entrepreneur

The DIY Entrepreneur

Christina Luka

Armed with a Michael’s Arts and Crafts store supply of yarn and felt, the DIY Entrepreneur knows that by publicly working on her soft plush monsters she might boost traffic on her Etsy site. But what she doesn’t know is that everyone thinks she’s a little nuts.

3. The Regular

The Regular

Christina Luka

The Regular can rattle off her specific drink faster than an auction bid caller. She knows what she wants and she gets what she wants. Everyday, sometimes twice a day.

4. The Business Type

The Business Type

Christina Luka

Similar to the Regular, the Business Type has their go-to drink but he orders it during pauses on a conference call. He will not tip you.

5. The Newbie

The Newbie

Christina

The Newbie is an indecisive type, usually looking for something large and sweet to add “a little extra fun” to their day. Today, she’s being baaad.

6. The Time Killer

The Time Killer

Christina Luka

Usually seen sitting in the corner of the coffee shop texting while waiting for a friend who’s running late. May or may not have a small cup of the cheapest beverage available.

7. The This Is the Only Place That Has A Public Bathroom And If I Don’t Get In There We’re Going To Have A Problem

The This Is the Only Place That Has A Public Bathroom And If I Don't Get In There We're Going To Have A Problem

Christina Luka

One thing city dwellers know about coffee shops is that they are an oasis in a sea of “Employee Only” bathrooms. Sometimes you can sneak in undetected, or sometimes someone will slip you that big, wooden block with the key. Either way, this time is yours. Enjoy it.

Sourced from buzzfeed.com

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Nov
4

By

5 Things Everyone Needs To Know About Baristas

Category: Life as a Barista Tags: Leave a Comment

1. Tipping counts. It really, really counts. And you might not understand why until you actually work an 8-hour, minimum wage job that requires you to be nice to people who haven’t had caffeine yet.undefined

2. We know it’s annoying when we misspell or mispronounce your name. But also consider that it might actually be your name that’s annoying.undefined

3. Being a barista is a tiring job, and much like the weed dealer you don’t use anymore, we tend to “sample the merchandise” a bit too often.undefined

4. Every barista has at least one drink that they HATE making. Fancy drinks with multiple espresso shots usually frustrate the heck out of us. While we’re not allowed to show it on our faces, I can guarantee that baristas rage hard when they see an order for one of these drinks.undefined

5. When you are kind or even just curtly polite, you really make a difference to us baristas. Interacting with pleasant customers is one of the best parts of the job, honestly. But…If you’re rude, don’t let our forced smiles fool you. We WILL remember you… undefined…Just maybe not your name.

 

Sourced from collegehumor

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Oct
30

By

30 Secrets Baristas Won’t Tell You

Category: Life as a Barista Tags: Leave a Comment

1. If you want your name spelled correctly, just tell us. We won’t be offended.

instagram.com

That way you aren’t mad when I yell out, “Snarf, your latte is ready!”

2. Asking for add-ons AFTER your drink is made will get you universally loathed.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Filmbuff / Via coffeetownmovie.tumblr.com

I know it’s only a ten cent add-on, but that’s not the point.

3. There is never really 2% milk.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Fox / Via giffity-gif-gif.tumblr.com

You mean I have to get the non-fat out the fridge, then get the whole, mix them together, measure them out equally… nah, you can have what’s in the pitcher.

4. People who order dry cappuccinos are the worst human beings on the planet.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
CBS / Via fuckyeahfoxygifs.tumblr.com

WHY ARE WE WASTING MILK SO YOU CAN LICK A TUB OF FOAM?

5. People who know exactly what they want are the best human beings on the planet.

People who know exactly what they want are the best human beings on the planet.

Universal Pictures / Via quickmeme.com

Bless you.

6. As much as we love your patronage, this is not your office.

instagram.com

I know your screenplay is important and all, but I really need to clean your table now, so…

7. It’s not that we can’t break that $20, we just don’t want to open the drawer, and we’re not a bank.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
BBC

Also, the fact that you’re not buying anything doesn’t make me want to do you any favors.

8. The blender is the bane of our existence, especially when we’re busy.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Via collegew0lf.tumblr.com

Not only do I have to stop what I’m doing to make your dumb frozen whatever, but I also have to clean it after. So, thanks for that.

9. If you want to order a “Venti” there’s a Starbucks down the corner.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
VH1 / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

And no, I won’t put your drink in your Starbucks mug either.

10. Also, if you only visit Starbucks, you have no idea what a macchiato actually is.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
20th Century Fox

HINT: THERE’S NO CARAMEL IN IT.

11. Extra hot drinks actually ruin the milk.

instagram.com

What are you even tasting? Sulfur?

12. The smell that half-and-half creamer elicits when making a breve drink is like a burning Roman Empire.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
NBC / Via caelynlovesniall.tumblr.com

And I’m pretty sure the smell it produces is against health code regulations.

13. The holidays mean holiday drinks, which means horrible concoctions we are forced to make.

instagram.com

Oh, and there’s nothing wrong about asking for a pumpkin spice latte in June, just don’t be surprised when I tell you that we haven’t had that on the menu since February.

14. No, I don’t have to work very hard to keep myself from drinking and eating everything in sight.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Via glee.wikia.com

The thrill vanishes after your 75th day of the same pastry.

15. There is nothing more baffling than customers who order decaf Americanos.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Via 20somethingsproblems.tumblr.com

Like, what is your life about? Are you Illuminati?

16. I’m sorry I don’t care to talk about your life at 6 a.m.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
E! / Via 20somethingsproblems.tumblr.com

If I’m making YOUR coffee, in all likelihood I’ve yet to have any.

17. We’re not all accomplished latte artists.

instagram.com

Thanks for the expectations, Pinterest!

18. We can mainline coffee like we’re Sid Vicious.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
DreamWorks Pictures / Via chemicaltoiletbrothers.tumblr.com

Just pop open a vein and GO.

19. We couldn’t care less if you don’t like the music that is playing.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Via fiercegifs.tumblr.com

Because, A) we are forced to play it by management, or B) we chose it because we want to listen to it. Point being, either way it’s not getting changed.

20. The worst possible time to tell me how you want your drink made is AFTER I’ve made it.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

Oh, I know, you just want that soy milk for free. Got it.

21. Somehow, the only people left in America who prefer to talk on the phone instead of text can ONLY do it in line.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
MTV

Are you helping Obama with his ISIS strategy or nah?

22. Regulars who never tip will be served as slow as possible.

instagram.com

It’s awesome that you think we’re pals, but I’d trade our friendship in for a few bucks every now and then.

23. You’ve got to be a special kind of lazy to ask me to put your Splenda in your drink for you.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Lionsgate

Can you not? No, literally. Are you physically unable to?

24. The time to ask about merchandise is probably not when there’s a line out the door.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

That thing underneath the item? It’s a price tag.

25. Yes, I do mind when you barge in 30 seconds before we lock the doors exclaiming, “Made it just in time!”

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
NBC / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

You probably show up when movies have already started, don’t you?

26. We know it was you who destroyed the bathroom.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
Colombia Pictures / Via gifbay.com

It’s fine, we’ve all done it. Just don’t use all the toilet paper next time, OK?

27. You realize that I’d get fired if I told you that I don’t like the food here, right?

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
ABC Family

Do you really think I just tried the quiche at 5:30 a.m. while I was setting up the store?

28. You should blame yourself for not coming earlier if we run out of something.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
NBC

I can tell you where the pastries DON’T come from. It’s not out of Mary Poppins’ fucking bag!

29. You know what we do to really annoying customers? They get decaf.

30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You
New Line Cinema / Via awesomedaily.net

Tastes like vengeance to me!

30. We dread the site of seeing interns/assistants/gophers walking through the door.

instagram.com

Oh, you need to pay for these all on different transactions AND you need a carrier? #FML

Sourced from buzzfeed.com

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