14 thoughts retail workers have in the January sales

There are certain problems a person can only understand if they work in retail, but there are far more darker, deeper, and disturbing problems you will only encounter if you work retail on the 26th December.

Boxing day used to be about collecting money and goods for the poor (in an alms box – hence the name) but now it’s about collecting as many Argos coffee makers as possible – for yourself, of course. This makes it hell for anyone lucky enough to be a shop assistant working on the day.

Indeed, working retail any time after Christmas is hell. Because that’s when the January sales begin. With Christmas spirit but a distant memory, the masses descend onto your store and tear it apart.

  1. WHY AREN’T YOU PEOPLE ASLEEP?

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  2. Why aren’t I asleep?

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  3. There is no such thing as a soul

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  4. I wonder if anyone would notice if I took a nap in the stockroom

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  5. No dress is worth an attempted murder charge

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  6. I know that item isn’t in stock, but if I go ‘look’ in the back I can get away from you horrible creatures

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  7. Didn’t you people get enough from Santa?

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  8. Was that customer joking when she said she was buying Christmas gifts for next year? PLEASE say she was

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  9. My family are eating Christmas leftovers :(

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  10. Maybe I should tell these people about internet shopping

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  11. You can’t return your Christmas present IN FRONT of your mum!

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  12. You can’t return your Christmas present half-eaten!

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  13. Am I supposed to still say ‘Merry Christmas’?

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  14. Thank fuck for time-and-a-half

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