christmas time Archives - I Hate Working In Retail

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6 Horrors of a Holiday Job in Retail

Working in retail can be hard enough on a regular day, but when Christmas season hits, with all its joy and stress, the misery and mayhem of the job can increase tenfold, as the following ho-ho-horrors illustrate. Here are some true nightmares you’ll experience working retail during the holidays.

 

Listening to a customer tell you why everyone working in your store — including you — is incompetent

Russell Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
(source)

You may not have invented holiday shopping, but that doesn’t mean it’s not your fault when the system breaks down. So as the store crowd swells, the checkout lines lengthen, the stock dwindles, and fuses shorten within a millimeter of nuclear Armageddon, people are bound to lash out on anyone wearing a name-tag. You’ll hear how you completely failed at managing a store, even as you explain that your job was, up until a few weeks ago, mostly about stopping kids from making the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures look like they’re having an orgy.

Being asked to check for an item in the back as if it were the Room of Requirement

let me stop you right there gif
(source)

Sure, there are no Snow Glow Elsa dolls on the shelves. Yes, if there were more Snow Glow Elsa dolls they would surely be on the shelf, since stores want to turn a profit. But that still won’t stop a desperate shopper from asking you to check the back for that doll, as if it were a mysterious place that magically contained all of one’s truest wishes. So you go to the stock room, sneak a quick break by sitting on a cardboard box as you fight the urge to scream through your eyes, and return 20 minutes later to say the doll could not be found.

Having your day constantly alternate between dead silence and the Battle of Helm’s Deep

Taylor Swift breathe
(source)

When you work retail during the holidays, you can never find a rhythm. Every so often, things will suddenly go dead, allowing you finally to take a moment to sob from exhaustion behind the Lalaloopsy display. But then, without warning, the barricade between contemplative silence and mass hysteria will shatter as people seem to apparate into your store. Then, once more, you’ll be overwhelmed and feel like, if one more person rushes through that front door, you’ll escape through the bathroom window.

Dealing with the one customer at checkout who doesn’t care the line is getting longer and the tension is getting thicker

oh my God screaming gif
(source)

Some people see the checkout counter as a time for a prolonged one-on-one with the cashier. They will question every time an item doesn’t ring up with its holiday sale price, even when the item is clearly not on sale. They will choose this moment to question every gift they got in mid-checkout and say, “I’ll be right back” as they redo their entire shopping list. And they will go on and on and on about how much time they wasted in the store as everyone behind them in line rolls their eyes, cracks their knuckles, and engages in a free-for-all fistfight.

Having your eight-hour shift turn into an eight-day shift

about to have a nervous breakdown gif
(source)

When you’re working retail during the holidays, your sense of time constantly shifts as your lunch break is changed to 11:00 pm and your hours are instantly expanded when someone doesn’t show up. Usually these changes will be made at the most inopportune times, like two minutes before you’re about to leave, one minute after you’ve screeched out of the mall parking lot, or thirty seconds after you’ve gone hiding in the storage room and taken off your pants.

Fearing you will never hear anything but Christmas music ever again

Krysten Ritter bored
(source)

But remember, come December 26th, the still never-ending loop of Christmas music in your head that continues to negate your ability to feel will be the one thing to help you survive the onslaught of post-holiday sale shoppers … and the return of 98% of the gifts you sold before Christmas.

 

Sourced from smosh.com

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28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing

1. “Don’t you have any more out the back?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
ABC Family

Nope.

2. “Can you just double-check anyway?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Lionsgate

Sure. I might be awhile, get comfy.

3. “Can you get one in for me before Christmas?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
FOX

… It’s Dec. 23. Do you think I’m Sabrina, from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch?!

4. “I really need [out of stock item], though!”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Bravo Networks

I don’t know what to tell you.

5. “I’ve been waiting a really long time!”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing

And you’re the only one.

6. “Can’t you just sell me one of the ones that are on hold?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
FX

Sure, because you’re worth my getting fired.

7. “You see, I just need this more than whoever has it on hold because…[long-winded, rambling, time-wasting story].”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
NBC

8. “Why do I have to wait for someone else to help me? Can’t YOU just help me?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Bravo Networks

No, I can’t. Would you ask someone in the beauty department to help you buy a fridge? I’m not trained to help you with your question — it’s a different department.

9. “Why don’t you have any of [unavailable item]?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
ABC

It’s Christmas. You weren’t the only one who wanted one. We sold out.

10. After being nudged/shoved with a trolley: “…Now that I’ve got your attention.”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Netflix

You’ve got my attention?! Sure, let me limp over to the computer and choke back the tears of pain while I serve you.

11. “That line is too long, I’m not waiting. Can’t you just put me through now?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Showtime

Nope.

12. “I’ve been on hold for five minutes already!”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
FX

Oh cool, so you must be feeling pretty chill, then, because the four people in front of you have been waiting for 15 minutes longer than that already.

13. “Is anyone actually working around here?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Bravo Networks

Yes, I’m working really hard on staying calm and not punching you in the back of the neck, thankyouverymuch.

14. “Hi I need to return this. I don’t want it anymore. I don’t have a receipt. I’d like it back in cash, thanks.”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Columbia Pictures

So what you’re saying is “I want to return this despite having no evidence I purchased it from your store, no valid reason for return, and you won’t take store credit.” This won’t be difficult to process, at all.

15. “I need that thing. You know the one? With the thing that does the thing. Come on, you know it…”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
FOX

Literally what are you even saying?

16. “If you don’t like working here why don’t you find another job?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
FOX/Paramount

If you don’t think I’m doing my best why don’t you shop somewhere else?

17. “Where’s your holiday spirit! Smile! It’s Christmas!”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
HBO

I will END YOU.

18. “Wow it’s really busy in here!”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
E4

No shit.

19. “I know you guys close at 9pm, but I’m on my way now and I’ll be there around 10 past 9. Do you think you could stay open for me? I’ll be really quick.”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Warner Bros.

20. “I know, I know you’re closing but I just need help finding these 15 items on my shopping list. Can you help me?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
MTV

“I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t in this store anymore but sure I’d love to.”

21. “I heard you guys price match — can I get a discount?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
NBC

22. “I’m spending a lot of money here…”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Bravo Networks

That literally has nothing to do with me.

23. “I need to buy each of these items individually. And I need a gift receipt for all of them.”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
NBC

24. “I know you’re on your way out but can you just help me find one thing?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
Bravo Networks

I mean, I’ve been trying to get to a bathroom for the last four hours but sure I can help you. Don’t mind that puddle.

25. In the food court: “I know you’re on your lunch break, but can you just tell me if you guys have this game in stock?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
HBO

I have 30 minutes to myself, during which I have to tackle crowds and lines in order to nourish myself so I can deal with you people through to the end of my shift. Literally fuck off. I hate you.

26. “I saw this cheaper at your other store four weeks ago.”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing

You know how sometimes you go to the supermarket, and your favourite cereal is on sale? And then other times, you go to the supermarket, and your favourite cereal is not on sale? Sales finish. The end.

27. “I’m in a rush — can I just leave this pile of unwanted items with you?”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
HBO

28. “You’ve ruined my kid’s Christmas.”

28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing
FOX

I’m working my ass off; it’s not my fault you waited until Christmas Eve to buy this year’s most coveted gift list item. And even if it was, maybe teach your kid not to be so materialistic kthxbye.

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com