Nov
19

Your 13 step guide to what it’s REALLY like to work in retail over Christmas

Category: Chistmas time, Just Funny Tags: christmas, retail Leave a Comment

1. The alarm goes off and you have to go to work while everyone else is in bed.

…And will be in bed for a large portion of the day. Why? Because only fools would get out of bed and tackle the shops in this weather. Which means today you’ll only be encountering only the terminally angry and the terminally idiotic.

2. Arriving at work and surveying your kingdom

It’s so clean and shiny. It’ll remain this way for approximately 12 minutes.

3. But there’s no time to waste, it’s time to sell

Selling to panicky people who have left everything to the last minute and consider this to be your fault.

4. You’ll be forced to wear novelty Christmas headwear

Who knew that dignity could be sold for the minimum wage?

5. The queues of people outside will be like this

By queues we mean the mad, bloody scrum that will see old ladies battling like MMA fighters over a wonky trolley filled with sprouts

6. This is how the shop will look 10 minutes after opening

A single tear drips down your face as your survey the ruin of 200 chocolate Santas that didn’t survive the stampede to the bargain aisle.

7. When the same Christmas song comes on for the 20th time in an hour

It’s the most wonderful time of the… SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

8. When a customer is rude to you

Yes, I understand that I have ruined your Christmas by manning this till and not personally ensuring all of our stock catered to little Jocasta’s every whim. Maybe make yourself feel better by reporting me to my boss and ensuring I get a bollocking in front of this queue of irate people.

9. But don’t worry, you might get a break eventually!

The law says you’re entitled to 15 minutes – just enough time for a cup of tea, a wee, and a toilet cry before plastering on a big smile and going back out to the Somme-like mess that is the shop floor.

10. When there’s a huge queue and someone tries to pay all in change

What did I ever do to you?

11. When you finally get home at the end of a shift

It’s the most wonderful time of the… *collapses*

12. Relaxing after work

The trick is to drink faster than the PTSD flashbacks pop up

13. Realising you have to get up and do the same thing again tomorrow

It’s like Groundhog day – but with elves and murderous, shouty old people.

Merry Christmas from everyone who has served you in a shop, ever

Written by Sophie G

Sourced from usvsth3m.com

Nov
14

By IHWIR Admin

29 Struggles Every Holiday Retail Worker Knows To Be True

Category: Chistmas time Tags: christmas, working christmas Leave a Comment

1. Holiday shoppers who are perched at the door to rush in the minute you open.

notapieceinthegames.tumblr.com

Can I open my damn register first?

2. Shoppers who destroy everything and buy nothing.

29 Struggles Every Holiday Retail Worker Knows To Be True

buzzfeed.com

Were you people born in a rebellion?!

3. Being understaffed on a busy day.

Being understaffed on a busy day.

slack-redir.com

Because your co-worker called out “sick.”

4. Or worse yet, being overly staffed on a dead day.

gifbin.com

Just twiddling my thumbs singing along in my head to the same Michael Bublé Christmas song again.

5. Having to work with a seasonal employee, who normally would never qualify to work in retail.

NBC

And they’ll break under pressure.

6. Being forced to listen to the same Christmas music over and over.

Being forced to listen to the same Christmas music over and over.

Universal Music Group

But they are never any songs you WANT to hear. (Can I get some Mariah Carey up in here?!)

7. When you say “Happy Holidays” and the customer feels they have to correct you with, “It’s Merry Christmas.”

youtube.com

May I please remind you that the constitution delineates a clear separation of church and shopping.

8. Customers thinking that you have a magical supply of merchandise stock in the back.

Customers thinking that you have a magical supply of merchandise stock in the back.

memecenter.com

What part of “everything that is on sale is out,” did you not understand?

9. Being told over and over, “Wow, they’re making you guys work on Christmas Eve.”

uproxx.com

Then why are you shopping on Christmas Eve?!

10. Having customers waste your time by having them tell you their life story/problems.

FOX

Christmas ‘tis the season of oversharing.

11. Having to print out several gift receipts after you’ve already finished the transaction.

stronzilli-blog.tumblr.com

Why didn’t you tell me you needed 13 gift receipts when I asked you if you needed any?!

12. Being asked to gift wrap things for free. And then having your skills judged.

ML Hart@MsMartha_writerFollow

Gift wrap #fail Good luck on the iPad. RT @ColTalbot1 I hope it’s an iPad

13. Having your scheduled lunch moved around.

memes.com

“Can you wait till 3:30 p.m. to take lunch? I know you been here since 6:30 a.m., but you know how crazy the holidays can be!”

14. Having to decide whether or not to get everyone’s gifts from the place you work.

Having to decide whether or not to get everyone's gifts from the place you work.

GAP Inc.

OK, let’s be honest, you’re going to do all of your shopping there. You’re already there 12 hours out of the day AND you get a discount.

15. Your friends and family feel more than OK with abusing your discount.

ABC

“Yes, I am buying these 18 sweaters for myself. Why do you ask?”

16. Knowing you’re going to lose your commission when customers return things after the holidays.

Warner Bros.

“Would you like me to throw away the dinner receipt you left in this jacket you said you never wore?”

17. Dealing with customers who bring back their holiday gifts with no receipt.

chloroplast.tumblr.com

Did you really think you were going to get full store credit for that shirt that has been on sale since Memorial Day?!

18. When your store manager gives in to a customer’s demands, and makes you look like an idiot for following store policy.

soletstalkabout.com

Thanks, now that customer feels entitled to throw me shade.

19. The customer who thinks you’ll open the store just for them.

aboutaseven.tumblr.com

You’re not, tho.

20. People who won’t leave when the store is closed.

paws-up.tumblr.com

Listen heffa, I have to be back here at 6 a.m.

21. People who find a regular priced item in the sale section and demand a discount on it.

Paramount Pictures

“Maybe that works in ‘Born Yesterday Gap,’ but this is Baby Gap, ma’am.”

22. Having to deal with the headache of professional discount hunters (aka people who want to spend ZERO money on holiday gifts).

pinterest.com

“No sir, I don’t think I can take another 10 cents off that $1.99 item.”

23. Having to deal with entitled customers who feel that the $40 they’re spending allows them to belittle you.

GIFWAVE.COM

“Hope you go out of business!” Yup, haven’t heard that one before.

24. Having to deal with that customer at the register who has multiple transactions, when you have a line out the door.

ABC

USE ONE DAMN CARD.

25. Having your requested days off denied.

NBC

I see the store manager and the employee he’s close with get to enjoy time off at Christmas, while I’m scheduled to work 7 days in a row… *sips hot cocoa*

26. The annoyance of being clocked out and being asked to help.

crushable.com

“I have my keys, phone, and bag out. Does it look like I am working?”

27. Being scheduled to work till 11 p.m. and staying till 2 a.m. to clean.

FOX

Does this qualify as overtime or nah?!

28. Realizing that working during the holidays will sap every ounce of Christmas spirit out of you.

Warner Bros.

My Christmas spirit has turned into one of the ghosts from Amityville.

29. Knowing that it’s not truly over on Christmas Day… because tomorrow the returns start.

Columbia Records

Sourced from buzzfeed.com

Sep
25

By IHWIR Admin

Expect Retailers to Open Even Earlier This Thanksgiving

Category: Chistmas time Tags: christmas, thanksgiving Leave a Comment

While retailers aren’t expected to announce any special Thanksgiving hours until the second half of October or into November, “it’s inevitable to see them open all day or even earlier than last year,” Joel Bines, managing director and co-leader of consulting firm AlixPartners’ retail practice, said in an interview.

Retailers are struggling to boost sales, and the bottom line. Most consumers in the middle see little, if any, wage growth. The back-to-school selling season is shaping up to be the worst since 2009, said Craig Johnson, the president of consulting firm Customer Growth Partners. Major retailers, including Wal-Mart Stores Inc.WMT -1.25%, have cut their annual outlooks.

Indeed, AlixPartners forecasts holiday sales this year to rise between 3.2% and 3.8%, “well below” the 10-year average, excluding a decline in 2008, of a 5.1% gain.

“The No. 1 topic of discussion [for retailers] is what to do to drive sales,” Mr. Bines said. “You’ll see retailers come up with all sorts of tactics. It’s going to be an extremely challenging holiday.”

Expect holiday promotions to start earlier than usual: 53% of retailers plan to begin holiday promotions either in September or October, versus 35% last year, according to a survey by consulting firm Hay Group of retailers with combined 2013 sales of nearly $183 billion. When asked whether they plan to cut back on discounts this year, 76% said no, up from 61% last year and 50% in 2012.

To be sure, opening early on Thanksgiving may do little more than ruin employees’ turkey feasts.

Last year, retailers from Wal-Mart and Best Buy Co.BBY -2.15% Inc. to Macy’s Inc.M -1.26% and J.C. Penney Co.JCP -2.97% Inc. opened stores or kicked off sales events earlier on Thanksgiving. Still, record Black Friday weekend sales didn’t salvage what turned out to be a disappointing holiday season.

“With the soft sales outlook, we do anticipate a few earlier openings” on Thanksgiving, or even a few more all-day openings, Mr. Johnson of Customer Growth said. “However, there is a law of diminishing returns,” and stores risk cannibalizing their December sales.

But for now, retailers are somewhat hopeful.

Both AlixPartners and Hay Group expect an improvement from last year, which showed the lowest growth since 2009. About one-quarter of retailers expect a sales increase of 5% or more this holiday season over last year, although 70% see flat sales, the Hay Group survey showed. AlixPartners’ forecast for this year, while below average, still tops the 2.3% gain last year. Deloitte’s forecast, released Wednesday, sees holiday sales up 4% to 4.5%.

“People are shopping again, and we see customers coming out stronger this holiday season than last Christmas,” said Craig Rowley, the global leader of Hay Group’s retail practice. “We’re seeing a slow improvement in the economy. They’re feeling more bullish about their prospects. And frankly, people like to shop.”

Sourced from wsj.com