Funny Archives - Page 5 of 13 - I Hate Working In Retail

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You should never have “UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA” shouted at you by a disembodied voice ever again.

 The disembodied voice on self-service checkouts in supermarkets is infuriating.

The disembodied voice on self-service checkouts in supermarkets is infuriating.

Wikipedia Commons / Jay Gooby / Via commons.wikimedia.org

It’s getting late. You’ve had a long day at work. You’re in the supermarket, trying to buy a slab of cheddar and some pasta. You’re using a self-service checkout because self-service checkouts are all that supermarkets provide nowadays for reasons of making your life miserable.

You swipe the first item and straight away you’re stuck in a circle of doom, as a disembodied voice shouts at you about “unexpected items in the bagging area”.

You know what we’re talking about. Just listen to this.

We’re sure it looked more fun on Supermarket Sweep.

But on most machines there is a little-known way to make them quiet. Just look for the volume button at the bottom of the screen. Press it three times, or until the mute icon appears.

vine.co / Via Jim Waterson

Do this and you’ll be left in complete silence. You’ll never hear the phrase “unexpected items in the bagging area”. There’ll be no more voices inviting to swipe your Clubcard. And no more echoing robot voice of doom berating your inability to weigh carrots properly.

There you go. Just use this trick and the machine is completely muted.

There you go. Just use this trick and the machine is completely muted.

Jim Waterson / BuzzFeed

You can relax and do your shopping in peace.

You can thank us later.

This Is The Secret Way To Turn Off The Annoying Voice On Self-Service Checkouts
DanIsNotOnFire / Via tumblr.com
Sourced from buzzfeed.com

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20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing

1. “Do you know the name of that one movie, with that one guy?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing

Probably, if you knew the name of the guy, too. Let me just list off every film ever made.

2. “You guys don’t have anything good.”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
YouTube

You can’t find *anything* among every new release, classics, horror films, cartoons, and even movies you’ve never heard of?

3. “Could you clean all 20 movies before I rent them?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Warner Bros. Pictures

I mean they’re already clean, but I’ll take another 10 full minutes to re-clean them.

4. “I’m not paying that late fee.”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Universal Pictures

It’s literally one dollar.

5. “The late fee on my account isn’t mine.”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Bravo

Really? Because it’s your name and I help you every single time you’re here.

6. “Do you carry porn?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Fox

We do, but CAN YOU SPEAK QUIETER?!?

7. “Could you suggest a porno to me?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing

DON’T HAVE ONE. THANKS FOR ASKING, THOUGH.

8. “I like Redbox/Netflix/Hulu better.”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
NBC

Cool! Then why are you even here?

9. “Can you help me choose between these 10 movies?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Disney

You really can’t narrow it down any more?

10. “How much longer will you be in business?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Bravo

…really?

11. “Can you hold that for a few days?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Bravo / Via m.bravotv.com

Why don’t you just call again in a few days?

12. “No, I’m positive this movie exists, and you’re the only person who hasn’t heard of it.”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing

YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. WHY AM I EVEN EMPLOYED HERE?

13. “What if I don’t bring this movie back?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Warner Bros.

Then we will call you day and night asking you to bring it back until it is in our loving arms.

14. “Can you check to see if I’ve rented this before?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
NBC

Sure, I’ll look through the last 5 years of your account. Please hold for a few days.

15. “But you said you had it 3 months ago.”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Netflix

Do you hear yourself?

16. On a Friday at 7 p.m.: “Why don’t you have (insert most popular new release here)?!”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
VH1

Easy! Because you’re not the only person on Earth who wants to see it!

17. “This disc was given to me with this huge scratch.”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
AMC

Yeah…doubt it.

18. *While holding up a box with a price*: “How much does this cost?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
NBC

Just open your eyes. I promise you can do it. I believe in you.

19. “Have you seen every single movie in here?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing

That’s probably not even possible.

20. And most of all: “Wait, video stores still exist?”

20 Things Video Store Employees Are Sick Of Hearing
Fox

…you’re in one right now, aren’t you?

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com

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Aldi Just Trolled The Hell Out Of Every Shop Offering Black Friday Deals

So. You know how in recent years how in recent years the emergence of discount superstores like Aldi and Lidl have really spooked the likes of Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Asda, and Morrisons?

So. You know how in recent years how in recent years the emergence of discount superstores like Aldi and Lidl have really spooked the likes of Sainsbury's, Tesco, Asda, and Morrisons?

And so they’re trying lots of tricks like Black Friday, which means today we saw this kind of lunacy?

Not to mention this kind of lunacy?

Well here’s Aldi’s response.

And it probably won’t please those competitors….

Hmm, we think we did #BlackFriday last week. Although it was just called “Friday”. And it’s the same every day!

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com