life of a server Archives - Page 4 of 8 - I Hate Working In Retail

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15 Ways To Annoy Your Hostess

1. Show up late for your reservation

1. Show up late for your reservation

Via businessnewsdaily.com

If you take the time to make the reservation, get your act together to show up for it. Or at least call, come on people.

2. Bring your screaming, whining children into the dining room

2. Bring your screaming, whining children into the dining room

Via parentdish.com

Only sleeping babies allowed. (But also not encouraged.)

3. Or your triple-wide stroller

3. Or your triple-wide stroller

Via thestrollergirl.com

What in the world are we supposed to do with this monstrosity while you eat?

4. Throw this line around freely: “We’ve been waiting for over an hour”

4. Throw this line around freely: "We've been waiting for over an hour"

Newsflash: We know that isn’t true.

5. Or this: “We know the owner”

5. Or this: "We know the owner"

Via covetliving.com

Oh you know the owner? Well let me just build a table really quick so we can seat you right away!

6. Order food or drinks from them

15 Ways To Annoy Your Hostess
Via www.tumblr.com

Wait two seconds and your server will be all over it.

7. Look around for a table before you talk to them

15 Ways To Annoy Your Hostess
Via www.tumblr.com

Why don’t you let me take care of that for you.

8. Even worse: Seat yourself

8. Even worse: Seat yourself

Via www.toptenz.net

Can you read?

9. Take it upon yourself to move after you’ve already been seated

9. Take it upon yourself to move after you've already been seated

Via newsmax.com

By all means, disregard that reserved sign! It’s just for decoration anyway.

10. Hang around after you’ve paid your bill and there’s an hour wait

10. Hang around after you’ve paid your bill and there’s an hour wait

Via slate.com

Don’t even worry, there isn’t a huge line of hungry people waiting. TAKE YOUR TIME.

11. Take a table and then only order drinks

11. Take a table and then only order drinks

Via texaswineandtrail.com

Aww that’s adorable! Save it for the bar. Or after 11pm.

12. Glare at them the whole time you wait

15 Ways To Annoy Your Hostess
Via reactiongifcollection.tumblr.com

I get it, you’re hungry.

13. Or worse, TALK to them the whole time

15 Ways To Annoy Your Hostess
Via www.tumblr.com

Just trying to do my job here.

14. Show up with 10 people at 9pm on a Friday night without a reservation

15 Ways To Annoy Your Hostess
Via m.pandawhale.com

Seriously? No.

15. Expect to get seated right away because you’re a regular

15 Ways To Annoy Your Hostess
Via www.tumblr.com

Of course you can have your usual table! Come back in 30 minutes.

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8 Things Female Servers Wish They Could Say To Your Face

Being a server is hard. Being a female server, in pretty much any kind of restaurant, is harder. While the job description may technically be the same as our male counterparts, the obstacles we face at the job are totally different. Eighty percent of female servers report having experienced some kind of harassment on the job – often at the hands of customers – and studies show that tipping culture only worsens this problem. Women are also more likely to be in these jobs, as we represent the majority of minimum-wage workers, and most of our gains in employment over recent years have been in these service-sector industries.

Overall, it’s just a bad situation. And while every server wishes they could be a little more honest with their average customer, a lot of the truth bombs that need to be dropped are unique to women, and the issues that only they deal with in the industry. Here, the X things that your waitress is probably dying to say to your face. 

“No, I don’t want to date you.”

Here’s the truth: There is a 90 percent chance that your server is not at all interested in you (or outright repulsed by you), and the other 10 percent is “even if I do like you, I do not want to get fired for being inappropriate on the job.” So please do not attempt to hit on her while she is trapped in a situation where she has to be nice, and please don’t awkwardly try to pick her up while she is still working for her tip. (And please, please do not be encouraged by dumb posts like this. They will not work.)

“I’m a server, not a nanny.”

It’s bad enough that you think you should bring your poorly behaved, not-restaurant-ready child to a restaurant. But looking up at your server while little Colton or Maggie is throwing around sugar packets and screaming, with that look like “You get it. Kids, amirite?” is the worst insult on that injury. A lot of female servers don’t have (or even like) kids, and their job is not to distract your little ones while they are hurling spaghetti at each other. Female servers are not magically more gifted with your gross children. If you want a nanny, you pay for one at home. The tip does not include that.

“My name is not ‘baby,’ ‘sweetie,’ ‘darlin,’ or ‘young lady.’”

Source: Four-Seven
It’s her name. That’s why she says it at the beginning of your meal. Crazy, I know.

“I am pretending not to be totally grossed out by your inappropriate touches, but only because I need the money and don’t want to get in trouble.”

Touching your server during your meal — little touches on the elbow, the forearm, or anywhere else — is so beyond inappropriate. It actually, in many cases, counts as harassment. (And I’ve seen way worse than a little arm-tapping. Guys drunk at bars will grab a server by the waist as she’s walking to one of her tables. They basically treat them as a hybrid girlfriend-maid for the time that they’re in her section.) If you are considering touching an employee of a place your patronizing in any way, it’s probably better to not. Just on the safe side.

“Your bad tip affects me more than my male coworkers.”

Even among the already-volatile compensation of food industry workers, women earn (on average) 68 percent less than their male counterparts in the industry. A lot of this stems from the fact that they are typically in lower-paid positions (only 19 percent of chefs are women, for example), but some of it comes from the fact that, statistically, their tips are worse. And this is only compounded by the lack of health coverage which — you guessed it — disproportionately affects the women (who have to, you know, have the babies in life). So, in conclusion, don’t stiff your waitress. She has it bad enough already.

“No, I can’t get you little extras.”

Women are not magically more your friend, or more lenient about their jobs, than men are. We may be perceived as “nicer,” but extras still have to come out of our own paychecks most of the time. So no, don’t ask a server for a bunch of ridiculous upgrades and freebies just because you think she won’t say no. You’re putting her in a terrible position when you do.

“I can’t have a drink with you.”

Even if she wanted to, she cannot just have a drink with you on the job. And waiting around her restaurant until she gets done with her shift is not only ineffective, but incredibly creepy. Why would you be that guy? Every female server — no exceptions — has seen and hated the guy who waited around to hit on one of the girls, and kept creepily saying hello to her as she walked by with a tray. If she has to leave out the kitchen in the back and walk around the long way to her car that night, you will be why. Congratulations.

“Please don’t bring my manager into this, he’s enough of an asshole already.”

Despite all of these very harsh realities and depressing statistics, the chances that a manager is going to magically side with a server over the customer — even when he is being gross and hitting on her — are very slim. Their job is to make money, and unfortunately, in the food industry, sometimes that money comes with a lot of harassment. So if you are getting mad at your server because she won’t give you freebies, flirt back, tame your children, give you her number, or anything else totally inappropriate, the least you can do is not drag her manager over. Because if there’s anything worse than being hit on on the job by a weirdo, it’s having to get scolded for it afterwards.
Sourced from Distractify.com

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What Every Server Thinks During Every Shift

Pabak Sarkar
Pabak Sarkar
  1. Alright, it’s a Friday… it’s going to be a good night.
  2. Wait; there are only 90 on the books?
  3. Our first reservation isn’t until 6:45…
  4. Alright, I guess I’ll polish.
  5. Why are there 10 waiters on right now?
  6. I’m glad I’m the only one polishing…
  7. No, it’s cool, we only have a pooled house… it’s fine that I’ll make no money tonight.
  8. I’m hungry…
  9. Would it be entirely inappropriate to drink before our tables get here?
  10. The bartender looks hot tonight… (editors note: this applies if it’s a male or female bartender)
  11. I wish I were the bartender… they don’t have to pool their tips…
  12. Alright, it’s 6:00….
  13. SOMEONE JUST PARKED IN THE LOT… yes!
  14. I’m still hungry…
  15. Oh, no… it’s an old couple…
  16. Ill let someone else take that table…
  17. At least we have a party of 12 coming in…
  18. I’m so bored.
  19. Do I have a table yet?
  20. Every other section has a table but me…
  21. Thank god we pool tips; at this rate I’ll make nothing
  22. I’m still hungry…
  23. I’m just going to eat one roll…
  24. I’m just going to have ONE MORE roll…
  25. Why did the hostess just double seat me…
  26. There’s 40 other open tables in other sections…
  27. Does she have a vendetta against me?
  28. No, no! DO NOT BRING THOSE OLD PEOPLE TO MY SECTION
  29. Oh, you dirty bitch… what is this mind game you’re playing with me, HOSTESS?
  30. Time to put on the fake smile and talk to people
  31. Oh, okay… you need another moment, let me just go to another tab… oh, you just want me to stand here while you make up your mind.. cool
  32. So, you want the porterhouse for 4, even though there’s only 2 of you?
  33. Yes? Okay, I’ll bring out a whole cow for you.
  34. Okay, time for the old people…
  35. Oh, you can’t hear me? Well, I’m talking AS LOUD AS I CAN WITHOUT DISTRUBING THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT
  36. So, you want the chopped salad, but without cucumbers, peppers, avocado, and tomato… and no dressing?
  37. So, you just want cheese and lettuce?
  38. IS THAT HOSTESS COMING TO MY SECTION WITH A FIVE TOP?
  39. SHE IS LUCKY “THE PURGE” IS JUST A MOVIE BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE FIRST ON MY LIST
  40. I really like her outfit though.
  41. Ugh, it’s so unfair that she gets to wear such cute outfits and here I am in this frumpy waiters uniform
  42. I need a cigarette.
  43. Did she just bring CHILDREN INTO MY SECTION
  44. I fucking hate children
  45. Oh, no ma’am… it’s totally okay that your child just threw a French fry at my face with ketchup on it… Maybe he’ll be a baseball player with that aim! Haha… not.
  46. Maybe, instead of handing your kid an iPad and ignoring it all day, YOU CAN TEACH IT SOME MANNERS
  47. Seriously, cut my eggs out now because I do not want to be like those people.
  48. Oh fuck, my food is up for table 45… I’ll just let the runner bring it out.
  49. Oh, woops, I forgot to ring in their second drink… I’ll do it in a second…
  50. Let me see how their meal is…
  51. Well, miss, you ordered a filet WELL DONE… of course there’s no “red”
  52. I’ll get you another one.
  53. Great, now my manager is going to assume that I fucked it up, even though I didn’t… fucking people suck
  54. CAN EVERYONE JUST CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND AND LET ME CATCH MY BREATH
  55. How is one human expected to take care of 8 tables at once when they’re all on the same fucking part of the meal?!
  56. Oh, you need more bread? Really? You NEED more bread? You know whoneeds bread, sir? THE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA NOT YOUR OVERWEIGHT ASS.
  57. Let me check on table 56…
  58. Sir, is everything okay with your salad? Oh… you don’t eat pork? Well, the description of the salad does say it has bacon bits in it…. I’ll just get you a new one.
  59. WHO THE DIRTY FUCK ORDERS A SALAD WITH BACON BITS IN IT IF THEY DON’T EAT PORK
  60. Fuck this.
  61. I hate people.
  62. Oh, table 90 is really sweet though.
  63. Old people are so cute.
  64. They left me 12%…
  65. Thank god we pool tips!
  66. I’m so sweaty.
  67. Like, it’s not normal to sweat this much.
  68. I haven’t peed in 6 hours
  69. MY LAST TABLE IS ON DESSERTS
  70. I might actually get to go out tonight with friends…
  71. Alright.. it’s 10:56…the kitchen is closing in 4 minutes…
  72. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!DO. NOT. SEAT. THAT. COUPLE.
  73. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk youuuuuuuu, hostesss!
  74. GUESS I’M NOT GOING OUT TONIGHT
  75. Whatever, at least now I won’t have to do the side work.. there’s 9 other people who can do it.
  76. Of course there’s no one else in the dining room… our restaurant is closed
  77. Oh, haha, no, of course you’re not holding me up for anything important.
  78. It’s not like I’m a human being or anything, assfuck.
  79. God, I’m exhausted.
  80. For god sakes, how long does it take to eat a salad?!
  81. If that girl has another Cosmo I’m more than positive she’s going to die.. She’s like 45 pounds wet… and, ate one lettuce leaf…. I can’t serve her again
  82. …. Alcohol does bring up the tab though….
  83. No, I can’t… I have to have some sort of moral compass…
  84. Oh, you want another drink… okay!
  85. What’s one more drink going to do?
  86. AMENNNNN! They are leaving! It’s only midnight… I can still go out…
  87. You know what… I’m just exhausted… I’m going to go home and sleep
  88. ::texts friends::
  89. I don’t understand why they don’t want to hang out on Monday! Oh, because they have “work the next day”… god, everyone’s getting so old.
  90. I made $250 for 5 hours of work… No complaints here.

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com