1. You take out hundreds of pieces of jewelry for the customer and they almost always go with the first piece they looked at.

Oh, you want the stud earrings? The very first pair we looked at two hours ago? Right. Let me just wrap those up for you.

2. Or worse, they try on everything and leave with absolutely nothing.

Oh, really, nothing? I mean, I showed you like 40 pairs of earrings, but still nothing? K.

3. Customers think that they can return a piece of jewelry without you realizing that it’s been worn for months on end.

That is tarnished, missing a stone, and the clasp is loose. Did you participate in a triathlon with this ankle bracelet on?

4. The idea of personal space is completely foreign even with a glass counter between you and the customer.

If you lean any further over the counter, the glass will probably actually shatter.

5. When you tell the customer a price and they say, “I’ll definitely be back,” you know they’re lying.

Hahahahaha, no you won’t, these prices are ridiculous.

6. You start to question whether people understand the difference between a sales associate and a therapist.

I’m really sorry that your sister is getting divorced. Are you going to buy this necklace for your daughter or not?

7. Taking out heavy trays of jewelry over and over again to the sound of the store’s playlist starts to make you feel like you’re doing a bad workout tape.

And after a while you start to choreograph your own to your favorite store songs.

8. You can’t even begin to explain your frustration when you’re helping a customer and someone interrupts you to ask to see something in a case all the way across the store.

Seriously? Do manners and patience mean absolutely nothing to you? I’m going to take so much longer to get to you now, if ever.

9. Your customer gets genuinely upset when you don’t have a piece of jewelry that they have come up with in their head.

Pandora didn’t decide to make a charm with a monkey holding a heart with “Happy Birthday” on it this year, I’m so sorry.

10. And they think that when you don’t have something you can just go into the back and whip it up for them.

Unfortunately, no, I cannot go into the back and create this item that you wish existed. Also, we get this stuff shipped to us, we don’t have people working in the back making branded jewelry.

11. There are different keys to each display case and you can never figure out which goes to which, despite labels.

I’m sorry, I’ll show you that necklace just as soon as I find the one key out of 36 that could fit into this lock.

12. You constantly forget that you are wearing the store’s jewelry and come back to work the next day with the guilt of having it overnight.

But you’ll be damned if you don’t admit how classy you looked with that tennis bracelet on at the dive bar last night.

13. Once you take out a tray of jewelry, the customer thinks that everything is available for picking up and trying on.

Nope. Stop, please.

14. When you ask a customer what size ring they are, they usually lie.

“I don’t know why this won’t go on, this must be wrong. I’m always a size 6, never an 8!”
Classic denial, constantly wasting everyone’s time.

15. Or they have no idea and you have to measure every single one of their fingers.

“I totally want this for my pointer finger, but can you measure my pinky, too?”

16. You know that hearing the words, “I’m just looking” really means “I’m about to ask you a million questions in just a minute, so get ready.”

3…2…1…

17. Inventory is your idea of hell.

Especially if you sell charm bracelets. Counting those little suckers takesforevvvvverrrrrrrrr.

18. You’re constantly asked if you work on commission.

Why yes, I do, so can you please buy all of the stuff you just looked at and never, ever return it?

19. Every morning there’s a customer screaming for you to open the store because they NEED to see a piece of jewelry right this second.

You know what, I’m not going to open. It’s 8:58 and I’m going to sit here and sip my coffee for two full minutes and pretend that you don’t exist.

20. And when closing time is fast approaching, there’s always one customer who makes you take out several trays of jewelry at once.

The policy is one tray out at a time and you, sir, have managed to make me take out twelve trays with three minutes until closing. What is this black magic?

21. Customers think they’re sly when they try to haggle prices with you.

May I remind you that we’re in a shop in the mall, not at a street market? Pay the $200 or byeee.

22. Customers don’t understand that you help hundreds of people just like them every day.

About once a week someone comes in and swears you helped them last month with a piece of jewelry and you know exactly which one it was and who she was and where is the jewelry because now she wants to buy it.

Nope.

23. You’ve heard the phrase, “So it’s free then, HA!” in response to an item missing its ticket so many times you want to cry.

YEAH HAHA GOOD ONE! TOTALLY FREE, YES.