As a society, we generally like to buy stuff. Whether it’s clothes, food, beer or furniture, someone has to be there to scan through all of our transactions to ensure we can have our goodies.

Those people tend to be the most tortured and neglected of all the working world, so to all the sales assistants, cashiers, customer service representatives and shelf stackers, we salute you.

Here are some things that only people that’ve worked in retail will understand.

1) How infuriating it is when someone reads your name badge and uses it when they speak to you. “Hello… JOHN, please can you tell me where you keep the tinned goods?”

2) When people tut and sigh when they’re waiting in a queue. It isn’t going to make the line move any quicker buddy!

3) Similarly, when people tap their fingers on the till/conveyer belt whilst they wait. Now I’m going to go even slower, just for you.

4) Feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket but not being able to check your texts because your manager is around. Argh, what if it’s an invite to the pub tonight?! Or that fit bird you’ve been texting?!

5) People turning up 5 minutes before closing time, but it’s okay because they “know what they want”. Really?!

6) People who want to pay part cash, part card. Just leave, get out.

7) Rude people. I don’t HAVE to serve you, pal. Maybe you should buy yourself some manners whilst you’re here.

8) People who walk slowly everywhere, with no idea that there are people trying to get past.

9) When you’re arguing violently with a customer that the price was correctly displayed and then your manager comes over and discounts it for them anyway. Sigh.

10) When parents send their children to pay and they think it’s the cutest thing ever. It isn’t, I have a queue, get a move on.

11) When customers comment on the state of the toilets/how big the queues are/how empty the store is/how difficult it is to find a member of staff. Do I look like the owner of the company?

12) When you’ve just straightened an aisle and someone comes along and messes it up. Oh, I wanted to do that all over again, thank you for being so generous.

13) The nervousness you feel when you have to tell someone their card is declined. This is going to be awkward.

14) Being handed crumpled up money and change. I’m going to sit here and count this out very slowly now, because of you. You started this.

15) Having a couple argue at the till. Please take your baggage elsewhere.

16) That polite laugh you have to do when a customer makes a joke. The things we do…

17) People who lose their kids so decide to shout at the top of their lungs, echoing throughout the whole store… Quieten down and stop letting your children roam free.

18) Making your way to the break room for that final peace and quiet, only to be stopped by a customer on your way up and missing 15 minutes of your lunch. NOOOOO.

19) Or what’s worse, being stopped by a sweet old lady customer when you’re leaving for the day. Ugh, moral dilemma…

20) Being caught by your manager having a sneaky chat in the store room. BUSTED.

21) You’ve ignored a phone call or two when you know that your manager is going to call to ask you to work. “Oh sorry, I had no signal!”

22) When hilarious customers tell you that “it must be free!” because it doesn’t scan, or ask you can give them ‘the winning’ Lottery ticket… Nope. T*t.

23) Perhaps the worst of all, “Do you work here?!”. No, I just wear this fetching uniform for the fun of it.