1. You take pride in your ability to sell, sell, sell.
2. Your greetings and salutations are cheesier than a Hallmark card.
And you’ve probably used them when answering your phone or while talking to your friends. Damn you, habits!
3. Your bloodstream is essentially coffee.
4. You know the real Golden Rule.
5. A swarm of customers always seem to enter the store right as you were stepping out for a break.
6. You’re always watching.
7. Even the smallest tasks consume a lot of energy.
8. Don’t even get you started on that glitchy credit card machine.
9. You’re guilty of putting someone down because your day sucks.
10. New products make you irrationally excited.
11. You’ve had to babysit for parents while they shop.
12. You’ve been filled with hope when a customer asks you to hold their items.
14. You both hated that one Top 40 song, share the late shift, and are equally inappropriate…
15. You’ve had to use every bit of energy to not harm your bossy coworker.
16. Your relationship with the company’s tech support is thriving.
Your computer system was sent from hell to make your life much harder.
17. You’ve had some twisted daydreams about what you would do to certain customers.
18. You and your friends are on completely different schedules.
19. How you feel when you greet someone and they respond with, “I’m just looking.”
20. You end up having to do way more work than is in your job description.
21. You know the nightmare that is window displays.
22. You struggle during the holidays.
23. You are terrified of pre-teens.
24. Dealing with a difficult customer on the phone.
25. Flood of customers, phone’s ringing, and only two people on the floor…
27. You can’t be won over easily.
28. Customers have definitely mistaken you for a therapist.
29. Customer interactions during the last hour of your shift.
30. Your manager has called a meeting at 6 a.m.
32. You’re sick of being asked why you’re still working in retail.
33. You’ve agreed to cover someone’s shift only to wish you’d never been born.
34. Staff selling competitions.
35. There are some customer messes that can’t be cleaned.
And they will forever be burned into your night terrors.
36. You’re not above breaking your phone in order to avoid being called into work on your day off.
37. You’ve really had the practice your smile.
38. Trying to text without your boss seeing you.
39. You know the customer is most certainly not always right.
41. Your typical lunch break.
42. Dealing with drunk customers.
43. You hold a grudge when a customer minimizes your average transaction.
44. Organizing the back room is both infuriating and dangerous.
45. Your outlook on life after working in retail.