September 2014 - Page 9 of 18 - I Hate Working In Retail

By

16 Times Target Failed So Hard It Won

1. The time it might have caused a sexual awakening in a lot of teenage readers:

But then again, Fifty Shades of Grey was originally Twilight fanfic.

2. The time it didn’t understand what “emerging authors” meant:

To Kill a Mockingbird was published in 1960, while The Great Gatsby was published in 1925 — so really not recently published works.

3. The time it put this unfortunate image in people’s heads:

4. The time it failed to grasp what healthy food is:

But FTR, candy is delicious.

5. The time it made this amazing price discount:

6. The time it didn’t understand what “clearance” meant:

Expect a discount, pay more!

7. The time it trapped people in the store:

8. The time it pushed the limit on how much people will pay for a banana:

9. The time it found a new way to market tampons:

10. The time it put together this endcap full of “study aides”:

Well, unless you are studying for a party!

11. The time it put together this hilarious book collection:

I mean, who couldn’t stop laughing during The Fault in Our Stars.

12. The time it got presumptuous about what was going to happen on your date night:

You just met the guy on Tinder!

13. The time it photoshopped three arms onto one of its models in the weekly circular:

Or maybe it actually sells sweaters for three-armed people?

14. The time it thought of a new creative way to solve antacid:

15. Everything about this picture frame:

16. The time it sold this unfortunately labeled Hello Kitty DVD:

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com

By

Walmart Spokesman Lied. What? Not a Walmart Spokesman!

Walmart Spokesman Lied. What? Not a Walmart Spokesman!EXPAND

Top Walmart spokesman David Tovar has reportedly resigned after the company found that he lied on his resume about receiving a college degree. Lying? Not Walmart spokesman David Tovar!

Lying? Not David Tovar, who previously worked as a PR flack for a big tobacco company!

Lying? Not David Tovar, who explained his departure from this job in an email like so: “We all know the first rule of journalism is ‘don’t bury the lead’ so here goes: after eight amazing years, I’ve decided to leave Wal-Mart at the end of the month.”

Lying? Not David Tovar, whose snide public “fact check” of a New York Times column critical of Walmart was itself full of misleading corporate spin.

Lying? Not David Tovar, who defended Walmart’s poverty-level wages by pointing out that employees “also get a 10 percent discount card.”

Lying? Not David Tovar, who for years has been the chief public defender of a company that has made its owners the richest family in the world by paying its workers so little that they areforced into welfare, busting any attempts at unionization, and generally treating its employeeslike disposable widgets?

Not Walmart spokesman David Tovar! Anyone but him!

We wish David Tovar well in his next cushy and well-paid job as a corporate… ah… truth-teller.

Sourced from Gawker.com

By

The 20 Biggest Hates for Workers at the Grocery Store

1. When someone leaves a cart like this.

You haven’t even made it in the store and the dick moves already abound.

2. When people ignore the “10 Items or Less” sign.

There is a special place in hell reserved for the people who make this dick move.

3. When you just want to buy bread, and someone cart-blocks you.

Seriously, you just had to swerve in front of me? Here, take this coupon for 30% off your next dick move, you dick.

4. When these aren’t stacked correctly.

See how they all fit nicely? That is how they are supposed to look. Plopping yours on top doesn’t save you time, it’s just a major dick move.

5. When kids hustle cookies and candy outside the entrance.

I came in here for Triscuits and toilet paper, but now I’m leaving with three boxes of Samoas and a befuddled look of how I got suckered into this dick move once again.

6. When someone wants a price check then decides they don’t want the item after all.

“Oh, I thought the toothpaste was on sale. Never mind, then.” — Mr. Richard Move

7. When a parent lets their kid throw a tantrum.

Awwww hellll no! I know you’ve had a long day, but your kid is literally tearing the store apart. Stop making dick moves, you apparent dick.

8. When someone tries to haggle the price at the register.

Look, this isn’t a bazaar, so stop trying to get a deal on that bag of Kit Kats, OK? Only thing you can get a deal on is being a dick. And guess what? Today it’s free.

9. When the customer at the register in front of you needs to “run and get one thing.”

Really? One thing? Then why did you come back with a ton of stuff and take FIVE MINUTES? Oh, sorry, forgot you were a dick. My bad.

10. When someone asks to jump ahead of you in line, and then takes forever.

They’re asking for rolls of quarters?! Now the checker has to ask the manager, then the manager has to get the key… Then you punch yourself for falling for that dick move once again.

11. When someone uses the self checkout to buy fruits or vegetables.

“OK, let’s see here. Where’s the code on this thing?” — A dick, trying to find a barcode on a single radish.

12. When someone wants to speak with the manager because an item isn’t scanning.

All this does is distract the manager from getting that other dick his roll of quarters. What is up with everybody? Is it National Be a Dick Day?

13. When they’ve run out of these at the register.

How else is the checker supposed to differentiate between my ice cream and bourbon, and that lady’s popsicles and vodka? And no, we are not “together,” thank you very much. Just ring her up so that I can get out of this store of dick moves.

14. When someone has to “check the ripeness” by touching all the fruit.

Go ahead, put your grubby hands on all the nectarines. It’s not like I wanted any, you super dick.

15. When people abuse free samples.

Want to know if you are maker of dick moves? How many of those samples would you take? If you said more than two, congratulations, you are a dick.

16. When people abandon meat products on a shelf ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORE.

That 30-foot walk back to the meat section was too far, huh? That’s why you left this steak oozing blood next to the Oreos?! WHAT A DICK MOVE.

17. When someone forgets their loyalty card and tries to use a phone number instead.

“…9-8-2-1? Still not working? Try 6-3-4… No, scratch that. 6-3-5…” I know your number. Try 1-800-D-I-C-K-M-O-V-E.

18. When someone obviously has a cold and wanders the store.

I get that your prescription isn’t ready, but this is how Outbreak started. So just get your meds and leave as quickly as possible, you sick dick.

19. When people leave their cart in the middle of the aisle.

Where’d they go? To the restroom? Did they get raptured? All I know is that their cart is blocking the cereal aisle, and that whoever left it is a grade-A supreme dick.

20. When someone crop-dusts the aisles.

FML. I guess this can be called a butt-move

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com