Chistmas time Archives - Page 5 of 12 - I Hate Working In Retail

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The 12 Stages Every Retail Worker Experienced On Black Friday

For the most part, everyone loves the day after Thanksgiving. Whether it’s a day of pure relaxation and recovery from binge eating turkey and stuffing with family, or a mad dash to the nearest mall, most people are at least somewhat grateful that Black Friday exists. Unless you work in retail. Then Black Friday becomes one of the most dreadful days of the year, right up there with the day after Christmas and, sometimes, Christmas Eve.

No matter what store you work at, all retail associates have to deal with the same things when Black Friday rolls around — extremely early hours, merchandise-crazy shoppers, and insanely messy stores. Sounds like a piece of cake, right? And though a good Black Friday purchase can make your entire day brighter, retail workers aren’t so lucky — they’re hit with waves of different emotions as the day wears on. I’ve even witnessed an associate cry after being yelled at by an impatient customer when I worked at American Eagle in high school. Here are the 12 emotions every retail worker will experience this Black Friday (and if you’ve worked on Black Friday before like I have, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about). Keep these people in your thoughts today, k?

1. Hopeful Anxiety

You’ve been warned about Black Friday by all your veteran coworkers, but it really doesn’t seem too terrible. Or perhaps you’ve worked Black Friday last year, and the 365 days in between made your memory a bit fuzzy. Either way, it can’t really be THAT bad, right? RIGHT??

2. Slight Panic

Crap! There are already people lined up outside. Not ready.

3. Cautious Excitement

The first customers want to get in and out as fast as possible so they can hit up the other stores. Business as usual for you so far. You knew it wouldn’t be so bad!

4. Dazed and Confused

Hundreds of customers come charging in, bright eyed and bushy tailed after sleeping off that Thanksgiving food baby belly. Still. Not. Ready.

5. Full-On Panic

You know when you get on a treadmill and accidentally make the speed waaaay too high, so you’re running for your life while simultaneously pushing buttons to stop the damn thing?? Yeah, that’s you right now.

6. Completely Drained

Glad that’s over. Wait, how long have I been awake?? It’s only 11:30 a.m.?? Excuse me?!

7. Full-Bellied Contentment

Well you survived the morning shift, and managed to get something from the jungle that is the food court. A bit tired, but still alive. How bad could the afternoon shift be?

8. In Need of Salvation

One minute you’re telling a woman she can’t rip the clothes off the storefront mannequin and try them on, the next minute you’re chasing a group of little kids around the store, trying to stop them from having a dance party on all the clothes that are on the floor. The place isn’t even recognizable anymore.

9. Fleeting Calm

You duck into the employee bathroom for a much-needed 3-minute break. You try to remember what your yoga teacher said about aligning your chakras to find inner peace. WOOOOOOSAH.

10. Absolutely Pooped

Closing time. You can’t wait till those last few stragglers, ahem, customers, pay and get out. A couple people try to knock on the door, but you gleefully point to the sign in the window — CLOSED.

11. Shock and Horror

Wait, who has to fold up all these shirts with size 6 shoe prints on them from the aforementioned children’s dance party?? AND make sure that there are 12 small, medium, large, and extra large blouses in ROYGBIV order??

12. Sheer Ecstasy 

It’s over. ‘Nuff said.

 

Sourced from bustle.com

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Ben Wenzl’s Poem About Working Retail During the Holiday Season Is Awesome

Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images

If you have ever held a job in retail during the holidays, you’re aware of the mind-numbing absurdity of topical capitalism. This is perhaps best captured in Omaha, Nebraska comedian and slam poet Ben Wenzl’s “Working Retail During the Holiday Season,” spoken-word poem, which could be alternately titled “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Oh My Effing God Are You Effing Kidding Me,” which functions as a foul-mouthed homage to the collective toils of anyone who’s ever endured this unfortunate but inevitable season. Wenzl’s performance is relevant, impassioned, and candid as he spits the holiday hatred felt by all of us who’ve worked at the Gap or similar spots over Christmas break.

If you are not a person who’s had the soul-crushing privilege of working end-of-year customer service, allow me to break down some of the more insufferable highlights: a maximum number of three holiday albums cycle through one after another on your employer’s PA, every day, incessantly, for the duration of a three-month period; also of note, people are commercially coaxed to buy far more than they can reasonably afford, leading to a high influx of returned merchandise and subsequent cuts to your commission (if you’re fortunate enough to make it); and let us not forget the annual reel of holiday sale brawls (which, by the way, are not as hilarious as you may think).

So this, dear reader, is why Ben Wenzl is all of us. “If that customer returns one more goddamn item,” Wenzl says, “I swear to you I’m gonna break every candle in this goddamn f*cking store, and then roll around on the shards of glass covering the entire surface area until this store floor is a bloody Jackson Pollock.” We hear you, dude.

Stoke your holiday vitriol fire by watching the video below.

Sourced from bustle.com

 

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The 14 worst things about working in retail at Christmas

The Christmas shopping season has started! It’s the most terrible time of the year for people who work in shops

Getty
Hordes of Christmas shoppers walk beneath festive lights on Regent Street

It’s so busy out there

Are you about to go Christmas shopping? Before you head out, spare a thought for all the people working in retail. It’s the most terrible time of the year for shop workers. The number of customers seems to increase by 1000%, everyone is cross and it’s always cold. And you probably had to get up in the dark when all your friends are having lie-ins.

If you’ve ever worked in a shop, you’ll know all of these things are true. If you haven’t, have a quick read before you head out to the shops today.

Pity the poor person behind the till.

1. The Christmas music

It’s quite likely that your shop will have one, maybe two CDs that are played on loop all day, starting from November 12th.

“It’s beginning to look a lot like I’M GOING INSANE, MAKE IT STOP.”

2. When the shop looks like this

View image on Twitter

Hurricanes have caused less damage than a wave of Christmas shoppers. And we know it looks awful but there’s only three people on the rota and 400 customers to serve.

3.  Irrationally angry people

It’s not my fault we’ve run out of ham/Playstations/giant chocolate Santas/socks. I’m not paid £6.50 to be shouted at.

4. When a customer tries to pay with loads of coupons

Not a bad thing in principle, but when they’ve got a stack of 30 and spend ages rooting around for the right one (which has probably expired anyway), strangling them seems like the reasonable response.

5. When the changing room looks like this

View image on Twitter

It’s not our fault someone decided to have a picnic in the dressing rooms :( Feel sorry for us, we’re the ones who have to pick this stuff up.

6. Crying children

We love kids. But unless you REALLY have to don’t bring them into our shop to have a tantrum. Please.

7. Creepy flirty customers

Generally between 20 and 30 years older than you. Lingers at the till for ages. No sir/madam, I do not want to tell you what time I finish work…

8. The Christmas Eve rush

Basically everyone who shops on Christmas Eve is a bit terrifying. All shops turn into an apocalyptic scenes with fully grown adults fighting each other to death over Barbies.

9. Being forced to smile all day long

Don’t let your manager see you looking glum. On the outside I’m smiling, but on the inside I’m seething with rage.

10. Having to work the Boxing Day sales

Everyone else gets to stay in bed and sleep off their hangover, you’re up at 5am. Anyone who has worked the sales has a Vietnam veteran-style thousand-yard stare. YOU WEREN’T THERE MAN.

11. Being cold all the time

Most shops make you keep the doors open to encourage customers to come in. This means experiencing a freezing draft all day long if you’re on meet and greet.

12. Excessive folding

If you work in a shop with fancy folding rules, the huge number of Christmas shoppers means your folding output is going up 300%. It’s INCREDIBLY BORING, but at least you know how to make your jumpers look fancy.

13. No tips

Waiters and bar staff get the perk of merry/drunk Christmas parties full of people who over tip in the spirit of the occasion. Nobody tips retail workers :(

14. You know who you are

Sourced from themirror.co.uk

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