Customers Archives - Page 7 of 9 - I Hate Working In Retail

Sep
13

8 Infuriating Customer Types Every Retail Worker Knows

Category: Funny Customers, Life as a Cashier Tags: Customers, retail stories 1 Comment

Jack

Welcome any and all who have ever worked retail, or any job that deals with the general public. Have you ever just had one of those days where you need to scream, but are resigned to a fist-clenched ride home? It may be such a cliche thing to say, but as with all who have done anything from a day to multiple years with The General Public know, there’s certain things we need to get off our collective chests.

With the likes of Halloween generating evermore frenetically apocalyptic scenes of public consumption, the lead-up to Christmas is surely to be just as mental, and so as something of a cleanse I’ve compiled a list of Customer Types that, if you’ve ever encountered, crop up with increasing annoyance this time of year.

What follows is a steaming pile of passionate vitriolic rambling, but it’s all in good fun. Unless of course you are one of the entrants on the list, in which case you should seek immediate help.

8. The In-Opportune Arriver

Incredible Hulk

Been thinking about taking your break for a good 20 minutes now? Looking forward to shutting out the world for those 30 solid gold minutes of solitude?

Well that is when the IOA arrives, wanting an item that is either a) Hard to reach/obtain without going through unnecessary stress, or b) Just plain out of stock, yet they insist they “saw it in here last week” in some parallel dimension where they think insisting on its existence will magically produce said item from the palpable hatred we are now excreting.

7. The Converser

Timthumb

This particular cretin will start conversations by themselves, usually only barely relating to the item they’re purchasing. ‘Now my daughter has one of these and she once told me….’ or ‘Yeah my other one of these broke and I thought I’d come in and…’.
Now hold on, excuse me, but where along this chain of interaction did we give the impression that we gave a flying, syrup-soaked cheese sandwich why you’re purchasing anything?

Please just come in, be polite, keep the chatter to a minimum, and be on your merry way, safe in the knowledge that your resolute silence after the end of a transaction is like birds chirping in the mild-morning mist to us.

6. The Last-Minute Additions

‘Oh and can I just get…’ NO, no you cannot.

How hard is it to order everything you want in one transaction?? With our collective fingers poised on the last button of a interaction, waiting patiently to banish this persons’ presence from your existence within seconds, they decide to add something else on to prolong their placement in your life.

It’s never anything approaching essential, it’s always some perfunctory little trinket that has the personal value of a particularly ardent bit of mud, just as soon to be banished into the amorphous pile of waste everything else of non-daily-usage gets thrown into and forgotten about after the impulse wears off.

5. The Contortionist

Angry

These clownish fumblers always insist on sprawling their change back onto your counter and putting everything away in a specific place before they move out of the queue. Their limbs flailing as if you’ve just given them many flaming hot potatoes, they perform a range of labyrinthine arm movements accompanied by grunts and groans as they struggle to handle that sticky combination of a few coppers and a receipt that you’ve given them.

You’d think over the age of 10 they’d have gotten used to the old hand-eye coordination concept, but as becomes increasingly evident in retail, the public drop a good 100 IQ points upon entering any serving scenario.

4. The Entitled Parent

Brought up on a mind-destroying diet of tabloid press and hyperbolic mainstream news outlets, TEP is determined to pick a fault with even the most child-friendly of displays or shop scenery. Got a poster for an action movie or game where the character is brandishing anything more lethal than a slightly moist towel? It’s in danger of polluting the minds of The Children!

God forbid they actually have a discussion with their child as to the whys and wherefores of life, instead they’re content on blaming all outside media for any potential effect it may or may not have on their kid.

3. The Traffic Congestors

Single mothers are these, wielders of oversized prams and an assortment of bottles, toys and other accessories to keep the little snot-buckets happy. Now I don’t have a problem with mothers doing everything for their children, infact I genuinely think mothers are the nearest thing to superheroes we have on this Earth.

However with that being said, when did shopping become so important that you shove your child down aisles and around tiny gaps just so you can get the latest deals? “Well I need to go shopping today, and damned if I’m gonna let my 1 year old child get between me and that novelty candle holder!”

2. The Parents Who Do Not Care

Clerks

We’ve all seen them, The Parents Who Do Not Care, doing all their shopping as if that little screaming demon in the corner did not belong to them.

They seem fairly content taking time to decide which pointless piece of garden furniture they think will make their house look remotely appealing whilst their hellspawn pulls stock off the shelves, rips displays apart and generally causes a huge ruckus, yet the only occasional excursion of power given to the child is “oh you better stop that, the man/woman will come and kick you out!”.

I say thee nay, “the man/woman” in question here, wants to kick their face off.

1. The 5-Minute Pest

Jack

Possibly the worst one on this list, The 5MP can ruin a perfectly good shift, or drive you over the edge.

Just the sheer audacity a single individual can show by walking into a place, five minutesbefore the end of the day, whilst tills are being cashed and floors are being swept, and then have the collective testicular-fortitude to ask for something, is beyond me. The fact they do it with such disregard for common decency is worse than the majority of hate crimes. A truly horrid human being this, avoid at all costs by shutting the doors as soon as possible.

Hopefully after all that we’ve had a collective exhale, but I welcome any and all stories in the comments, or additional Types you’ve encountered and would like to add in!

Sourced from whatculture.com

Aug
31

By IHWIR Admin

The 12 Types Of People You Meet In McDonald’s At 5am

Category: Life as a Server, McDonlads Tags: Customers, Mcdonalds Leave a Comment

McDonald’s in the early hours of the morning is a strange place. You will get all sorts of people in there, and it’s usually the busiest time of the day for the fast food restaurant. Predictably, most of the people have quite a lot of alcohol in their system, but there is also a few people in there who might have just finished a night shift, or might be about to start an early morning shift. So here are just some of the different people you might encounter as you queue up for and then eat the nicest Big Mac of your entire life.

The Security Guard

A staple of any fast food restaurant after a night out, he’s there to make sure none of the drunk people hurt themselves or anyone around them. Much like the men and women with the aftershaves and perfumes in the night club bathroom, drunk people insist on becoming their best friend, even though, predictably, this person has no interest in talking to any of them, and wants to finish their shift with as little trouble as possible.

The Loud Group Of Guys

Usually made up of about 5 or 6 guys who feel compelled to draw the attention of everyone in the restaurant, including the aforementioned security guard. They can usually be seen at the counter messing up each others orders, at the tables shouting at and slagging everyone else, or outside wrestling one another after the security guard has had enough and kicked them out.

The Food Fighters

The food fighters usually end up being the same group of lads that will eventually get kicked out by the security guard, using their chips as missiles against rival groups, with some unfortunate people getting caught in the cross fire as they make their way to the toilet.

The Messy Eater

It’s unclear whether this person is always a messy eater, or whether the alcohol is to blame, but either way they can usually be seen sitting at a table covered from head to toe in lettuce, ketchup and crumbs. And it’s a similar story for the table in front of them, the floor at their feet, and sometimes even the wall beside them.

The Feasters

These type of people will sometimes actually save their money, often not buying the last drink in the night club, just to buy an absolute mountain of food once they get there. They don’t usually eat a lot at any other time of the day, but McDonald’s at 5am is a special place where special things can happen. And one of these things just happens to be your friends ability to consume more chicken mcnuggets than would appear to be humanly possible.

The Guy/Girl Who Just Finished His Shift

Very easy to spot, this person is usually dressed in all black as they’ve probably just finished a shift as a cleaner or barman/woman in one of the night clubs that all of the drunk have just come from. But regardless of if they work in one of the bars, or restaurants, or wherever, they are always trying to make themselves look as small as possible, and usually get their food into them as quickly as possible before they’re hit by one of the chip missiles or god knows what else.

The Staff

Everyone is allowed to complain about any job that they have as long as they don’t overdo it. This is no more true than for McDonald’s employees that have the late night/early morning shift. Trying to understand drunk people’s orders, getting the right amount of money off them to pay for the meal, and cleaning up after them. It’s probably a little like working at a crèche. Although at a crèche you don’t have to tell any of the kids what time the breakfast menu starts at for the 435th time that night.

surrounded_by_idiots

The Sleepers

Another type of person that the security guard isn’t a massive fan of, they can be seen sitting upright with a chip hanging out of their mouth and and a half eaten burger in their hand.

baby_sleeping_eating

The Emotional Wrecks

They sit there weeping into their happy meal with their friend consoling them after they were rejected by the ‘love of their life’, or, even worse, they lost their phone. The happy meal is bought to try and cheer them up, but to no avail. Although happy meal toys are a very common souvenir from a night out, and are more fun when you’re drunk then they ever were as a child.

kim-kardashian-crying

The Loners

Not only does this person not know where their friends are, they also have no means of contacting them because their phone is out of battery. It is also not uncommon for them not to have any money. They just seemed to have lost all hope, and are just resigned to sitting in McDonald’s. You might try and be a nice person and try and help them, but there’s really no point. They’re better off alone.

eating_alone

The People Too Drunk To Function

The only reason they’re in the place is to sit down somewhere without the risk of getting rained on, or mugged or something. Because there’s absolutely no way they’re able to get any food into them. Even though their friends might insist on buying them something and try to sober them up before they get into the taxi to reduce the risk of them getting sick.

drunk_fall_over

The People Who Are Too Sober For This Shit

Usually left with the task of looking after the person who is too drunk to function, they sit there with a grumpy look on their face, as the only reason they’re there is because no one would get a taxi with them when they wanted to go home. If they had had their way, they would’ve been in bed an hour ago.

Sourced from collegetimes.com

Aug
17

By IHWIR Admin

The customers you love to hate. what did you score?

Category: Life as a Cashier, Retail Stories Tags: Customers, retail stories Leave a Comment

Anyone who has endured working in the retail industry knows that it is desperately far from as ‘easy going’ as it often appears. After all, how hard can it be to fetch items and process transactions, right? Wrong.

It’s not so much the gruelling, everlasting, no tea or toilet break shifts, or the arguably offensive hourly wage. Moreover it’s the customers who force retailers to sigh so mournfully when the alarm goes off in the mornings. Working with the public is tough! And keeping you guys happy is even tougher. WUWO has dug out The Top 20 Customer Crazies: Discover which category you ascend from with the top 20 reasons behind why retailers hate the general public.

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

This is a phrase that even those who have never worked in retail are abundantly aware of. As for those who do work in retail; well they never hear the end of it. TIP: Nobody likes a know it all.

THE SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.

The ones who examine every item in intricate detail for the slightest fault, in order to demand a reduction. Occasionally causing faults themselves, these cheapskates will stop at nothing to hustle a few extra quid off the asking price.

THE CHANGE PAYER.

The customers who purchase a 49.99 item with a mass of shrapnel that’s been dug out from behind generations of sofas. These guys are the most inconvenient customers of all time.

THE CREEP.

These consumers are very far and few between. But once you serve one, you may as well have sold your soul to the devil. Expect them to make an appearance every day for the next 5-6 years to lurk, stare, and smell the stock.

THE MESSIAH OF MESS.

Whether it’s a mess the kids made, a destructive teenager hitting puberty, or an inconsiderate adult, these customers create havoc wherever they tread. Radiating silent signals to the store decor, price tags and stock will begin to rain down like leaves in the autumn.

THE ‘I’M BETTER THAN YOU’.

One of the worst customers you will ever encounter. They spend more time looking down their noses than anything in the actual store. Superior shoppers that are under the belief you are a lower form of species put on this earth to serve their every whim, often rubbing their higher paid job or fancy flash car in your exhausted over-worked face.

THE FREQUENT COMPLAINER.

Moan, groan, and moan some more. These ‘glass half empty’ individuals are a real buzz kill. From unfitting room temperatures, to complaints about staff or ‘pricey’ stock, these customers will hunt for any available opening to make your life a misery.

MR & MRS HANDS.

We all know Mr. & Mrs. hands, compulsively caressing everything within reach. Including you! There are ways of avoiding the tricks of the touchy feely. The best tip I can offer you, when handing back change or a receipt, do not linger. Given the opportunity these folk will have your hand hostage for much longer than you care for.

THE INDECISIVE.

“Do I get the black one, or the blue one? The red one is quite nice, although saying that I could go for the white one because it goes with my new jeans. What do you think? The black one? I’m not sure if that will match my new jeans but I suppose I could try a different style neck line. Can I try th..” NO. THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME JUST PICK ONE AND PAY.

THE THREATENER.

The customer who is on a permanent power trip. Demanding to speak to your manager or Head Office in relation to anything from a dislike to your service or the fact what they want is not currently in stock. TIP: Bite your tongue, and kiss bottoms.

THE BARGAIN HUNTER.

The most dangerous shopper known to mankind. The bargain hunter will sever arm and leg to get the last pair of half off boots or to be first in line for a 75% OFF SALE. Do not underestimate them.

THE JAMES BONDS.

The smooth criminals that have a friend of a friend that knows the wife of the managers’ best friends’ cats’ previous owner. These guys have a questionable need to be served by the same employee upon every visit. If said employee is not there, and someone else bites the bullet, James Bond will complain, and he will be using his prestige connections to file a complaint against you.

THE ‘TOO BUSY FOR YOU’.

Usually distinguished by the Smartphone or Bluetooth headset super glued to their ear, these customers are impatient and ignorant, only communicating with you via sign language. And by sign language, we mean pointing aggressively and expecting us to know what item, size and price range… telepathically.

THE CAUTIOUS SPENDER.

Most of us will find what we are looking for, purchase, ride the waves of consumer satisfaction, realise we probably shouldn’t have, and return home as if it never happened. But these guys, no such luck. The cautious spender will find what they want, spend 3 hours looking for better, comparing, testing, searching, creating wish lists, only to end up back where they started, but never buying. The most infuriating shopper you will ever bear witness too.

THE KILL WITH KINDNESS.

Now, don’t get me wrong, a friendly customer is much preferred than any other. But some of you – particularly common among senior citizens and retirees – remind those in retail of the chicken in Foghorn Leghorn. “I said I said go away boy ya’ botherin’ me.”
These dear darlings will talk your ear off about the grandkids starting school, latest doctor appointments, and given the chance quote memoirs of their late husband/wife.
TIP: Look busy, even if you’re not.

THE REFUND REFUGEES.

Similar to the SOMETHING FOR NOTHING inhabitants, The Refund Refugees will attempt to return anything with a tag on. Worn out shoes ‘’I have never worn’’, Dresses stinking of spirits and cigarette smoke “I have never worn”, even underwear. I needn’t tell you the state of those that of course were ‘never worn’. These guys seem to have a tough time distinguishing the difference between a store and a rental shop.

THE NOSE PINCHERS.

Ever had a customer that looked like they’ve just walked out of a low budget horror movie, wreaking to the high heavens? It’s hard to maintain the act of respectful sales assistant when you’re serving a real life replica of Fungus the Bogeyman. The burning desire to dunk these guys in soapy water is almost as overwhelming as the smell!

BAD BREATH BUYERS.

This bunch deserved to have a separate mention altogether as opposed to being a component of the nose pinchers. The title is self explanatory. TIP: take care of your teeth; you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

THE CONTAGIOUS CREW.

Coughing and spluttering, sneezing and snivelling, these walking germ banks are an absolute nightmare. As a customer service advisor, you have to remain professional at all times, despite the replaying image of germs flying through the air and landing all over you as you serve. TIP: Do not inhale when in direct contact with a contagious crew member.

THE SPACE INVADORS.

There is at least 50sq ft of space, and they chose to stand 5cm over the invisible line that borders your personal space. In conjunction with a Contagious Crew, A Nose Pincher, or a Bad Breath Buyer, this combination can be both deadly and impossible to sustain common courtesy.

Retail Ranking: How many have you encountered? Publish your score in the comments section

0-5 ROOKIE

6-10 WEEKENDER

11-15 GRAFTER

15+ TAKE A BREAK BEFORE THEY BREAK YOU.

(Or maybe they already have)

Sourced from whatsupwhatson.com