Sep
16
Who the hell poops on the salesfloor? Like literally on the salesfloor. #kmartproblems @Kmartproblems @Kmartprobbss#retailproblems
We opened 15 mins ago #returns #retailproblems
Bankrupt again. Ralph shopping with the boyyyyyf. #bigspend#bossingit #discount #employee #lovelife
Sourced from Buzzfeed.com
Sep
16
But then again, Fifty Shades of Grey was originally Twilight fanfic.
To Kill a Mockingbird was published in 1960, while The Great Gatsby was published in 1925 — so really not recently published works.
Well, unless you are studying for a party!
I mean, who couldn’t stop laughing during The Fault in Our Stars.
You just met the guy on Tinder!
Or maybe it actually sells sweaters for three-armed people?
Sourced from Buzzfeed.com
Sep
16
You haven’t even made it in the store and the dick moves already abound.
There is a special place in hell reserved for the people who make this dick move.
Seriously, you just had to swerve in front of me? Here, take this coupon for 30% off your next dick move, you dick.
See how they all fit nicely? That is how they are supposed to look. Plopping yours on top doesn’t save you time, it’s just a major dick move.
I came in here for Triscuits and toilet paper, but now I’m leaving with three boxes of Samoas and a befuddled look of how I got suckered into this dick move once again.
“Oh, I thought the toothpaste was on sale. Never mind, then.” — Mr. Richard Move
Awwww hellll no! I know you’ve had a long day, but your kid is literally tearing the store apart. Stop making dick moves, you apparent dick.
Look, this isn’t a bazaar, so stop trying to get a deal on that bag of Kit Kats, OK? Only thing you can get a deal on is being a dick. And guess what? Today it’s free.
Really? One thing? Then why did you come back with a ton of stuff and take FIVE MINUTES? Oh, sorry, forgot you were a dick. My bad.
They’re asking for rolls of quarters?! Now the checker has to ask the manager, then the manager has to get the key… Then you punch yourself for falling for that dick move once again.
“OK, let’s see here. Where’s the code on this thing?” — A dick, trying to find a barcode on a single radish.
All this does is distract the manager from getting that other dick his roll of quarters. What is up with everybody? Is it National Be a Dick Day?
How else is the checker supposed to differentiate between my ice cream and bourbon, and that lady’s popsicles and vodka? And no, we are not “together,” thank you very much. Just ring her up so that I can get out of this store of dick moves.
Go ahead, put your grubby hands on all the nectarines. It’s not like I wanted any, you super dick.
Want to know if you are maker of dick moves? How many of those samples would you take? If you said more than two, congratulations, you are a dick.
That 30-foot walk back to the meat section was too far, huh? That’s why you left this steak oozing blood next to the Oreos?! WHAT A DICK MOVE.
“…9-8-2-1? Still not working? Try 6-3-4… No, scratch that. 6-3-5…” I know your number. Try 1-800-D-I-C-K-M-O-V-E.
I get that your prescription isn’t ready, but this is how Outbreak started. So just get your meds and leave as quickly as possible, you sick dick.
Where’d they go? To the restroom? Did they get raptured? All I know is that their cart is blocking the cereal aisle, and that whoever left it is a grade-A supreme dick.
FML. I guess this can be called a butt-move
Sourced from Buzzfeed.com
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