retail stories Archives - Page 22 of 24 - I Hate Working In Retail

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The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

If you can check all of these off, it’s time to switch professions.

1. The Power Luncher

The Power Luncher

Thinkstock

*Interrupts you while you’re saying the second syllable of your name.*

2. The Table of “21 Year Olds”

The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

These are probably all fake IDs, but precisely no one has time to check.

3. The Table with Pets

4. The Huge Group of Teenagers

The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

And hearing them whisper “I tipped 10%. That’s fine, right?”

5. The Gluten-Free Vegan With Lots of Questions

The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

I can totally check, but yes, there’s almost certainly gluten in absolutely everything.

6. The Europeans With No Concept of Turn Over

The Europeans With No Concept of Turn Over

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*Sips single latte for THREE HOURS.*

7. The Unwelcome Flirter

The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

This is a place of business.

8. The Awkward Couple

No server enjoys having to interrupt the profound awkwardness that exists between two people who should have swiped left.

9. The After Church Crowd

The After Church Crowd

10. The Refill King/Queen

11. The Picky Eater

The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

What mayo? Where? THERE IS NO MAYO ON THIS I SWEAR TO YOU.

13. The People You Know But Are Not Friends With

The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

“How have things been since 2007??”

14. The Table With Unruly Children

15. The Birthday Dinner

“Hey, it’s our friend’s birthday. Do you guys do anything special for birthdays? Could you guys sing for our friend’s birthday? Can you take like, seven photos of us. It’s our friend’s birthday.”

16. The People Who Made it “Just in Time”

17. The Snapper/Clapper/Doer of Absolutely Anything That Isn’t Saying “Excuse Me” To Get Your Attention

The 17 Worst People Every Waiter Will Inevitably Serve

Mad TV / Via giphy.com

 

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com

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15 Things Diner Hostesses Wish They Could Say to Customers

Everett Collection / (Shutterstock.com)
Everett Collection / (Shutterstock.com)

I worked as a hostess at a popular diner in Greenbelt, Maryland for over a year, and I call BS on the claim that “the customer is always right.” Here are some of the things I wish I said to the slew of overly demanding and rude-ass customers that rolled up to the diner on a high horse, just begging to be put in their place.

1.

I just said “Hello, How are you?” Did you not hear me? Are you deaf?

2.

Oh, you are deaf. I am so sorry.

3.

Haha! Funny joke! No, sir, I am not 12. That would be child labor. That is illegal.

4.

Your food will still taste shitty whether you sit at a table or a booth.

5.

No, I did not sit you in the back of the restaurant because you are black.

6.

I’m black. Why would I sit you in the back of the restaurant because you are black?

7.

If I was here to follow you to the table where you wanted to sit, I wouldn’t have a job, now would I?

8.

That is not how you say my name, but I truly appreciate all the effort you invested in reading my nametag.

9.

Wait…you really thought I sat you back here because you are black?

10.

It’s really not that cute that you know all of the waiters by name. You should probably learn how to cook at home.

11.

No, you may not cut in front of the line because you are a “regular.” Fall back, ma’am.

12.

Yes, we do have a “really quiet booth” in the diner for you to sit at so you can do some work. It’s actually a cubicle, though. And it’s actually down the street AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY.

13.

Your food doesn’t taste the way you wanted it to? Thank you for telling me, because as the hostess, I cook all the food myself.

14.

Oh, the service was “atrocious” today? I truly hope your experience is better when I see you back here in two days.

15.

Wow, you’ve been coming to this diner every weekend since you were eight years old!? You should probably move out of your parents’ basement.

 

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com

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Shit Only Baristas Will Understand

If you’ve worked in the land of coffee, you’ll know how we feel. It’s a lonely world full of scowling zombies who haven’t had their fix, nicknaming the regulars and being grateful for people with manners. The fresh smell of coffee gets old real fast and all your left with is stained hands and sore feet. Baristas unite, you’re essentially supplying people with one of the only legal drugs left in the world. Go us!

The sick feeling you get when your alarm going off in what feels like the dead of the night and having to drag yourself out of bed and out the door while it’s still dark.

Alarm

Your friends whatsapp group starting to come alive 4 hours after you have because their jobs start at civilised hours.

Opening up the coffee shop with whoever is scheduled on with you and having a mutual understanding that there is no conversation before the coffee machine is turned on, functioning and you’ve both had your ‘hit’.

Having to clean the milk fridge is gag inducing.

How difficult it is to maintain your manners when someone orders while their on their phone.

The fact that most of your regulars have secret nicknames with your co-workers like ‘soy cap guy’ and ‘bitchy flat white’ (Actual nicknames)

“For here or to go?” is something that rolls off your tongue quicker than your name now.

During quiet times you’ve experimented by putting a chocolate bar IN a croissant and then toasting it, only for a customer to come up while your mouth is full and you can’t fully enjoy your majestic creation.

Being able to put on your own iPod playlist makes the day so.much.better.

You value the people who are patient and considerate more than they will ever know.

You are guilty of giving that total bitch “fat” instead of “non fat” because fuck her.

There are some customers that no matter how many times they tell you, you will just never remember their name and you feel really bad about it.

There is no better feeling then getting home after your early shift and having the majority of the day left to do whatever you want while your friends are still in work for at least another 3 hours.

The walk to work while the sun is rising and the world is still asleep can sometimes be incredible and you wonder why you’d do anything else.

Sourced from Collegetimes