June 2014 - Page 6 of 22 - I Hate Working In Retail

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No-so-happy meal! Listen to the moment McDonald’s customer dials 999 to complain about his burger

A man who dialled 999 to complain about his McDonald’s meal has been shamed by police.

In a recording of the phone call, the man can be heard telling emergency staff he is upset over his hamburger, demanding to be transferred to a Wolverhampton police station.

During the nearly two-and-a-half minute conversation, the man argues with the call handler for telling him that his situation is not an emergency – and finishes off my swearing down the phone,

Scroll down to listen to the call

Emburgency: The man phoned 999 from a location in Wolverhampton from McDonald's where he was angry about his hamburger

Emburgency: The man phoned 999 from a location in Wolverhampton from McDonald’s where he was angry about his hamburger

West Midlands Police have shamed the nuisance caller by releasing audio footage of the phone conversation today.

During the two minute 17 second clip the man can be heard asking the emergency call operator to put him through to Bilston Police Station in Wolverhampton

After a lengthy argument with the operator over his refusal to ‘do him a favour’ and transfer him to the ‘cop shop’, the rambling caller eventually reveals the true nature of his emergency.

He can be heard saying: ‘I am at McDonald’s, I’m asking for ingredients on the meal I’m eating.’

The 999 call handler then interjects and says: ‘This is not a 999 emergency.’ before the man replies ‘Yes it is though.’

Shamed. Time waster rings 999 to complain about his McDonalds

The operator tells the man: ‘You needing to get ingredients in the things you are eating in McDonald’s is not an emergency.’

At this point the message seemingly gets through to the caller and he replies: ‘Is it not? Okey dokey.’

The man then ends the conversation with an expletive, before the patient operator says: ‘Don’t speak to me like that, please.’

It is the second food related 999 call the force has released recently after a woman phoned earlier in the year to complain about topping on her ice cream.

Chief Superintendent Jim Andronov, head of the force’s Contact Centre, warned time-wasters that their calls could cost lives.

He added: ‘Typically West Midlands Police receive over 1500 calls a day to the 999 number and our operatives have to deal with each one accordingly.

Hangry about un-happy meal: The man was upset over not being able to get the full list of ingredients for the hamburger he had purchased at McDonald’s, demanding to speak to a Wolverhampton police station

‘Of these, some 10 to 20 per cent are not police matters and around 50 per cent are non-emergency calls where contact is appropriate via the 101 number.

‘As well as the bizarre calls police also receive deliberate hoax calls which take up vital time.

‘It’s astonishing listening to them but they hide a serious truth.

‘Each call often takes minutes to deal with as staff have to clarify the situation – it might not sound like much but, if someone is trying to get through to report a genuine life or death emergency, then a minute is a very long time to wait.

‘I cannot stress enough that the 999 number is for emergencies only, for guidance this is defined as: a crime is in progress, someone suspected of a crime is nearby, when there is danger to life or when violence is being used or threatened.

‘We do not want to discourage people from contacting the police so for any other reason call 101.’

READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE BIZARRE 999 CALL

Caller: ‘Hello mate, are you in the West Midlands mate?’
Emergency call handler: ‘Yes, you’re through to the police.’
Caller: ‘Hello, whereabouts are you based?’
Emergency call handler: ‘You’re through to West Midlands Police 999.’
Caller ‘Bilston Street?’
Emergency call handler: ‘Not Bilston Street the 999 call centre.’
Caller: ‘Okay mate do me a favour, you know Bilston Street Wolverhampton cop shop?’
Emergency call handler: ‘We don’t transfer 999 calls, do you have an emergency?’
Caller: ‘I have an emergency yeah. Will you pass me through to….’
Emergency call handler: ‘If you have got an emergency, what’s the emergency then? We don’t transfer 999 calls, we don’t have the facility to.’
Caller: ‘Mate, do me a favour and pass me through to…’
Emergency call handler: ‘I’ve told you three times now we do not have the facility to transfer you.’
Caller: ‘You’ve told me once mate.’
Emergency call handler: ‘We do not have the facility to transfer you, what’s the emergency?’
Caller: ‘What’s the emergency? It’s a waste of time even asking the police..’
Emergency call handler: ‘If you have a 999 emergency tell me what the emergency is.’
*INAUDIBLE*
Emergency call handler: ‘Are you going to let me speak or are you going to keep on talking over me?’
Caller: ‘Go on then, what’s the problem?’
Emergency call handler: ‘This is a 999 emergency, if you have an emergency….’
Caller: ‘Every time I phone……..’
Emergency call handler: ‘You’re speaking over me again now, we’re not going to get anywhere if you talk over me. If you have an emergency you tell me what it is.
‘If you want to be speaking to an officer you need to call them directly.’
Caller: ‘OK then, carry on.’
Emergency call handler: ‘What’s your emergency?’
Caller: ‘I’m at McDonald’s yeah and I’m asking for ingredients on the meal I’m eating.’
Emergency call handler: ‘This is not a 999 emergency.’
Caller: ‘It is though.’
Emergency call handler: ‘You needing to get the ingredients in the things you are eating in McDonald’s is not an emergency.’
Caller: ‘Is it not?’
Emergency call handler: ‘No.’
Caller: ‘Okey dokey.’
Emergency call handler: ‘Is anyone being hurt or aggressive is anyone’s life in danger at the moment?’
Caller: ‘Not right now.’
Emergency call handler: ‘Right, OK.’
Caller: ‘Go on mate *expletive*. Go on.’
Emergency call handler: ‘Don’t speak to me like that please.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

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This is the Hilariously Ridiculous Story of Shane, the Wal-Mart Deli Guy

walmart-deli-guy-shane

This is the tale of Shane, a Walmart deli counter employee.

Shane also has a special, calculated knack for driving his bosses crazy during the work day. It’s a surprise he’s not fired, but he’s continuously being scolded for doing things such as offering customers extended warranties on the fried chicken and cheekily labeling certain deli products as “stoner approved.”

Shane’s story is told through a series of pictures snapped by his co-worker, Reddit user Ardentleprechaun. The documented pictures expose Walmart back-room whiteboard, where -Management has to repeatedly scold Shane through written warnings.

As with any story with minimal documentation (Ardentleprechaun’s pictures are currently floating at the top of Reddit.com), we’re going to  assume, for the sake of storytelling, that Shane is a real person, and that these notes from -Management are real as well. Shane, if you’re reading this, I hope you keep walking the line of playful customer interaction and staying employed by Walmart.

Thanks for the laughs:

walmart-extended-warranties

walmart-free-samples

walmart-final-answer

walmart-deli-directions-to-albertsons

walmart-deli-equipment

walmart-good-stuff-in-the-back

walmart-swinecraft

walmart-multiple-name-tags

walmart-stoner-approved

walmart-ventrilo

walmart-mystery-meat

walmart-some-assembly-required

Via ardentleprechaun

 

Sourced from foodbeast.com

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12 Tips For Working In Retail Without Killing Everyone Around You

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1. Don’t Follow People Around the Store

For customers, this is annoying and overbearing. Depending on who you do it to, it could unintentionally come across as racist, ageist, or something equally politically incorrect. Instead, try and guess where the customer is headed, and attempt to remain one step ahead of them at all times. Try looking repeatedly over your shoulder with a very judgmental stare, and, if they wind up in the same spot as you, say something like, “Fancy meeting you here…” in a really rude tone of voice. Serves them right — what, they think they’re too good to be followed?

2. Don’t Let Your Friends Come Into the Store to Visit You

Doing this while you’re on the clock is inexcusable: you should be leaving the store to visit them.

3. Whenever a Customer Asks You Something, Consult the Back Room

As a retail worker, you should always maintain an air of professionalism and a courteous, inviting smile; this ensures that customers will feel comfortable asking you for assistance. Of course, helping customers is probably just about the last thing you want to do, especially since the majority of them have never become acquainted with phrases like, “please” or “thank you,” and have certainly never taken the time to consider the fact that they may actually be a total assclown.

However, a customer’s question provides you with the valuable opportunity to drop whatever you are doing and answer, “Hmm… let me check the back room” or “Let me ask my manager.” Seriously, would you rather be stocking American Idol refrigerator magnets or aimlessly wandering around your store’s customer-free back room? And it doesn’t matter if the customer asks you something you already know the answer to, like “Where’s the bathroom?” or “What time is it?” Regardless of whatever their half-way intelligible question is, it provides you with an opportunity for sweet, sweet momentary escape.

4. Don’t Work in a Store that Plays a Limited Music Playlist

This is more of a warning than a tip: If you work in a store that uses a playlist of fewer than 100 songs for in-store music, you will probably show up for work one day wearing a trench coat and wielding an axe while screaming the lyrics to a Michelle Branch or Maroon 5 song.

5. Make Up Your Own Holidays

Unfortunately, working in retail often means working on holidays. Missing out on these traditions can cause anxiety, depression, and a ton of guilt from your family. What I recommend to remedy this is inventing your own holidays to make up for the ones you’re stuck working on. While you won’t get the sense of unity and familiarity that traditional holidays bring, you get the added bonus of celebrating things you actually care about on your own schedule. For instance, while your friends are stuck working on September 18th, you can be chillaxin’ at home, celebrating the anniversary of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s tragically brief marriage!

Some other holidays I’ve invented include the upcoming power duo of Arbor Day Eve (April 26th) and Hitler’s Death Day (April 30th), as well as The WNBA All-Star Game, Cockblock a Stranger Day, and National Weird Al Appreciation Day. You will definitely be able to take these days off because you’ll be the only one asking for them. Well, also because no one will want to celebrate them with you.

6. Take Advantage of Time Away From Your Manager

Hopefully you’ll have the privilege of working for a trusting manager who allows you to handle duties like opening and closing the store when he’s not around, or working on his usual days off or vacation days. Working without a manager around to meddle in your affairs is the prime benefit of being in the retail field. Just think, you’re your own boss — you run the store… except you could care less whether anything gets sold or not. You need to take advantage of this time to do whatever the hell you want, from blasting Slayer over the loudspeakers to scare away customers to ripping bong hits in the back room. After all, this is your time to shine.

7. Learn Where Everything in Your Store is

This will provide you with grim satisfaction when you have dialogues like the following:

Customer: Yeah, where’s your selection of domestic beers?
You: This is a pet store, you incomparable moron.
Customer (staring at you blankly): …
You: Let me check the back room.

8. Encourage Shoplifting

In fact, you should remove the anti-theft tags from as many items as possible and leave them lying around the exits of your store. Just think: every time someone shoplifts, it’s like they’re punching your boss directly in the balls (and/or ovaries).

9. Lie Blatantly About Your Products

Customers love to ask esoteric questions about your store’s products, like “Are these Cheerios organic?” or “What country were these shoelaces manufactured in?” If you work for a store that takes pride in the knowledge of its staff, that’s great. But most consumers are under the mistaken assumption that places like T.J. Maxx, Walmart, and Discount Bob’s 98¢ Store provide extensive product information training. They might be surprised to discover that the training usually consists of, “There’s the bathroom. Do you know how to use a punch clock?”

Use these opportunities to feed the creative impulses that so often go unused in the retail field. Compensate for the fact that you have literally the exact same level of knowledge regarding your products as a random person off the street by inventing impressive facts and thrilling back-stories.

“Well sir, these jean shorts are actually made entirely from high-quality denim cultivated from the renowned Jort Farms of the Pacific Islands.”

“Yes, ma’am I do recommend those Q-tips — they’re made from real ostrich bones.”

10. The Customer is Always Right

Just kidding, I wanted to make sure you were still paying attention.

11. ABC – Always Be Closing

I’m not sure what this means, but Alec Baldwin says it like thirty times in Glengarry Glen Ross, which is a movie about salesmen and salesmanship. I usually just repeat it incessantly to customers with a quizzical look on my face. “Always be closing? Always… be… closing?” Sometimes I even drool. Eventually, they take the hint and leave me alone.

12. Whenever Possible, Wear a Name Tag With Someone Else’s Name On It

Well, duh.

 

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com