Life as a Barista Archives - Page 5 of 20

Jan
25

29 Ways to Get Starbucks Baristas to Hate You

Category: Life as a Barista, retail lists, Starbucks Tags: life of a barista, retail lists, Starbucks Leave a Comment

Are you a fan of Starbucks? Of course you are, but that doesn’t mean the baristas are fans of YOU. Here are some tips for not being a total d-bag at everyone’s favorite coffee chain, courtesy of Twitter.

1. Mention the secret menu.

Mention the secret menu.

Twitter: @j_weezy045

2. Go through the drive-thru in a horse mask.

Go through the drive-thru in a horse mask.

Twitter: @merry_kristamas

3. Demand more caramel.

Demand more caramel.

Twitter: @ktrzzz

4. Be SUPER into caramel.

Be SUPER into caramel.

Twitter: @therealgayrista

5. Demand your honey be mixed into your tea.

Demand your honey be mixed into your tea.

Twitter: @Sbux_is_Evil

6. Give yourself T. rex arms.

Give yourself T. rex arms.

Twitter: @IWantedThisIced

7. Have a sesquipedalian order.

Have a sesquipedalian order.

Twitter: @nicoleslaw91

8. Ask for this.

Ask for this.

Twitter: @matthewwneary

9. TOUCH THE CUPS.

TOUCH THE CUPS.

Twitter: @IWantedThisIced

10. Be a perv.

Be a perv.

Twitter: @ProbsStarbucks

11. Mess up the lingo.

Mess up the lingo.

Twitter: @sarah_mikaykay

12. Think you’re a stand-up comedian.

Think you're a stand-up comedian.

Twitter: @kelliiyoungg

13. Pay with a crap ton of pennies.

Pay with a crap ton of pennies.

Twitter: @ssadowsk

14. Be a “bitchy white girl.”

Be a "bitchy white girl."

Twitter: @j_weezy045

15. Drop the “DD” bomb.

Drop the "DD" bomb.

Twitter: @BillyPickett

16. Bring your whole PC setup.

Bring your whole PC setup.

Twitter: @michelligans

Twitter: @ceejay279

17. Request a “hot” Frappuccino.

Request a "hot" Frappuccino.

Twitter: @therealgayrista

18. Ask for this:

Ask for this:

Twitter: @IWantedThisIced

19. Try to get free drinks because you’re a girl.

Try to get free drinks because you're a girl.

Twitter: @PremierPolitics

20. Be coy with your coupon.

Be coy with your coupon.

Twitter: @ProbsStarbucks

21. Order a pumpkin spice latte.

Order a pumpkin spice latte.

Twitter: @xareds

22. Be dramatic about aspartame.

Be dramatic about aspartame.

Twitter: @mgentile23

23. Order a Snickers bar.

Order a Snickers bar.

Twitter: @HannahKimFox

24. Give the drive-thru person your garbage.

Give the drive-thru person your garbage.

Twitter: @ProbsStarbucks

25. Put your garbage ANYWHERE BUT THE TRASH CAN.

Put your garbage ANYWHERE BUT THE TRASH CAN.

Twitter: @MeganKrodel

26. Be on your iPad.

Be on your iPad.

Twitter: @mattclausen

27. Be demanding and vague.

Be demanding and vague.

Twitter: @MrMatheu

28. Order a Frappuccino.

Order a Frappuccino.

Twitter: @therealgayrista

Twitter: @MeganKrodel

Twitter: @ProbsStarbucks

29. Be a general pain in the butt.

Be a general pain in the butt.

Twitter: @IWantedThisIced

Twitter: @ProbsStarbucks

Sourced from Buzzfeed.com

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Jan
17

By IHWIR Admin

18 Ways To Be The Annoying Guy In The Coffee Shop

Category: Life as a Barista, retail lists Tags: life of a barista, retail lists Leave a Comment

1. Let everyone know you’re important by never taking off your sunglasses and making eye contact with the employee taking your order. Just make sure you find the biggest sunglasses possible. Seriously, if you can make yourself look like an annoyed fly, you’re on the right track.

2. If you’re sitting with someone be sure to talk so loudly people driving by will have to turn up their car’s radio to drown you out.

3. Be sure to watch Netflix in the highest definition possible when it’s the busiest. That way your video will be choppy and it’ll take everyone else 15 minutes to send a 4kb email.

4. Always look over the shoulder of the stranger sitting next to you so you can try to read what’s on their laptop screen. It’s definitely not creepy and plus you’ll learn so much.

5. Don’t ever put your phone on silent. If your phone rings or gets alerts constantly that’s even better. Also don’t use default ringtones. Make sure you download a three-second loop of an annoying hip-hop song that just sounds like distortion.

6. If you get a call instead of a text, answer it and talk so loudly people think you have a hearing problem. Everyone wants to know about your job so make sure they can hear every detail of it.

7. When you really want to double down, answer the call and put it on speakerphone. Who cares if you could just hold the phone up to your ear? Speakerphone is great and definitely intended to be used in a public setting as much as possible.

8. Don’t like coffee? No problem! Get a free cup of tap water and leech off the wi-fi for the next 7 hours! Pull some of the other chairs over to prop your feet upon as well. Live it up!

9. Make sure your funniest friend comes to hang out with you so you can cackle like a hyena every 4-7 seconds. Everyone else will love that so much.

10. When there are multiple open chairs and you don’t have a laptop with you, always take the one next to an outlet. Who cares if someone’s battery is about to die? What if you suddenly decide to buy a Gameboy Advance and need somewhere to charge it?

11. Everyone wants his own soundtrack when studying in a coffee shop, right? Make sure to share your playlist with the world by putting on headphones and cranking up the volume so loud the person next to you has to change spots in order to think.

12. If you want to take bothering people with your music into another stratosphere of annoying, don’t even use headphones. Turn up Ginuwine on iTunes and give everyone the opportunity to jump on that pony.

13. Always order off menu. Come up with the most asinine concoction and if the barista makes any sort of mistake or confuses it, respond like they just spit urine into the casket of your mother.

14. You can always dust off an old classic and make a big deal over the prices. You know, because the 19-year old barista behind the register is definitely the one that came up with the prices on the menu.

15. If you’re writing a script or a screenplay, you HAVE to mention it to anyone that asks if you need anything. It doesn’t matter if it fits organically into the conversation. Try this: Employee: Sir, can I get you anything? You: This screenplay is just emotionally exhausting. I’ve been working on this screenplay for months and I hear there’s some major buzz over my screenplay. I’m writing a screenplay, by the way.

16. Wait until it’s the busiest time of the morning and come in with a list of 37 drinks for everyone in your office. Make sure the note is written as sloppily as possible so you struggle to read it and have to call them to verify almost everything on the list.

17. Don’t just bring your kids, bring your kids and let them snack on chocolate covered coffee beans so they’ll be doing parkour off the walls like the first hour of Spiderman 2.

18. Be sure to treat your table like it’s your own personal office and leave papers, folders, and trash scattered all over the place like you’re in charge of a corporate merger. That’s a lot of documentation just to run a Tumblr account.

Sourced from distractify.com

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Jan
16

By IHWIR Admin

17 Signs You Really Need A F@cking Day Off

Category: Just Funny, Life as a Barista, Life as a Cashier, Life as a Retail Manager, Life as a Server, Life in a Gas Station, Life in a pharmacy, retail lists Tags: retail lists Leave a Comment

1. You clicked on this post. (Hi.)

2. You were desperate enough to pass the time that you clicked on this post even though you have a strong distaste for posts like this. You can’t even respect yourself for reading this right now, but you’re going to finish it, because that’s where you are with life now. Who needs dignity? Not you!

3. You have started to resent every living thing around you, including cats. Most especially cats, actually. You have taken to focusing your rage on their leisurely lifestyle. You have said things to your cat like, “Oh, wouldn’t it be GREAT to be a CAT?! You just sleep and eat and shit all day. REAL DIFFICULT LIFE, SNIFFLES MCWHISKERSON!!!!!” (You are not okay. You are yelling at a cat.)

4. You’re hungover from last night’s happy hour which turned into closing down the bar because you are not really into facing the reality of your life right now, tbh.

5. You cannot remember the last time you were relaxed. Really, you have no recent recollection of being at ease in your life. Real quick think of like a relaxing meadow or something. Does that feeling of calm make you stressed out? Yeah, you’re not okay.

6. You’re about one instance of being micro managed away from losing it all together and quitting your life to go be a professional street juggler or some weird ass shit like that. (Don’t do that, though.)

7. The best part of your day today was eating your sad lunch on your sad lunch break for only one really sad hour. (Hopefully you got fries.)

8. Every part of your body hurts. Even your eyes burn. The space between your fingers aches. You’ve discovered new ligaments in your neck that now have knots on them. The mere act of being alive hurts you.

9. You are the exact embodiment of a person whose soul has been sucked from them. Everything in your life is soul-sucking. Your existence is soul-sucking. Just keeping your eyes open is soul-sucking.

10. You have a very strong sensation of needing a hug from your mom (or whoever in your life represents comfort). You may want to get a good cry going while you’re at it.

11. You haven’t showered in three or four days because you have been trying to sleep as much as you possibly can in the morning, so you’ve been hitting snooze five times minimum and rushing out the door. You also have forgotten breakfast so now you’re hungry all day and everything is sad.

12. You found this post on Facebook because you are on Facebook all the time now. Your life is Facebook. You’re even playing Farmville. (You’re better than that.)

13. Speaking of Facebook, you’ve taken to turning on the chat function and saying what’s up to people you haven’t talked to in like three years because you’re that bored and that burnt out. (Dude, Shelly from high school does not want to chill.)

14. You are willing yourself to get a cold so you have a legitimate reason to call in sick. Did you just lick the bathroom door handle? Gross, but your dedication is commended.

15. Every time you see a crying baby, you’re like, “What do you know of stress, sir? You know nothing of real problems! I could fill a small Koi pond with my tears! Oh, big deal, you have a poopy diaper. MY WHOLE LIFE IS A POOPY DIAPER.”

16. Opening up your email at the beginning of the day gives you so much rage that you feel like you’re about to turn in The Hulk and go smash up some shit.

17. You’re about to share this post and be like, “SO ME, DYINGGGGG.”

Sourced from thoughtcatalog.com