Life as a Barista Archives - Page 19 of 20 - I Hate Working In Retail

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Baristas Spill the Beans: Horror Stories from Starbucks and Beyond

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What goes on behind the scenes in your favorite coffee shop? It’s not always smooth jazz and great tips for the people who work behind the counter — here are some horror stories and pet peeves from baristas that may make you shudder.

Barista gets burned.

Two years ago in San Diego, a Starbucks barista helped out a homeless man who asked for a cup of hot water — but when he tried to grab a few condiments, the barista told him they were only for paying customers, under store policy. He got angry and threw the water in her face. The barista had to be taken to the hospital and treated for second-degree burns.

Faking product returns.

Return fraud is an issue at many retail stores, but did you know customers tried it at coffee shops too? One woman brazenly pulled a couple of coffee presses off the shelf at a Bath, Ohio Starbucks, and then attempted to return her “purchases” for cash. The barista didn’t buy it, and reported her attempted fraud to police. She was issued a summons.

Customer causes hygiene concern.

You know those honey bear squeeze bottles that customers can use to sweeten their tea? One customer took it to the next level by not only sweetening his drink with the bear, but licking the rest of the honey off the bear’s lid. “I walked over, grabbed my violated honey bear, looked the customer in the eyes, and dropped the bear straight into the trash in front of him,” wrote the barista on Reddit.

Gravity-defying drinks.

In another Reddit horror story, one unreasonable customer demanded ice in her drink — but requested that the ice not float to the top.

Smelling the beans.

Another customer refused to pay for her coffee until she could “smell the beans.” She then declared that it didn’t smell like coffee, and got far too personal with the roast by sticking her hand right in the coffee hopper to grab a handful of coffee beans. The employees had to throw her original drink out — along with the five pounds of coffee she had touched. She stormed out, saying “I didn’t want coffee anyway.”

On top of these horror stories, baristas have a lot of pet peeves relating to regular customers — are you guilty of any of these faux pas?

Talking on your cell phone while placing your order.

If you want your barista to get your drink order right, make sure that you’re giving her your full attention while ordering — and that means putting your phone away for the 20 seconds it takes to tell her what you want.

Camping out for hours after you place an order.

While most coffee shops welcome customers to sit and use their wireless internet, make sure that you’re not abusing the system: If you haven’t ordered another drink in the four hours you’ve been taking up a table, your barista may be giving you dirty looks.

Taking a sip of a drink without confirming that it’s yours.

Most baristas will either call out your name or the name of your order when your drink is ready. Don’t blindly grab a drink and take a sip, assuming that it’s yours — if it isn’t, the barista will need to make that order again and keep other customers waiting.

Using Starbucks terminology when you’re not at Starbucks.

Starbucks has its own lingo, and most other coffee shops don’t use the same terms: So if you want to ask for a caramel macchiato, make sure it’s on the menu.

Not tipping.

While baristas don’t rely on tips to the extent that restaurant servers do, they rarely make much more than minimum wage so tips can go a long way towards helping them pay the bills. If you want to visit a coffee shop regularly and guarantee that you’ll receive good service, a dollar in the tip jar can make that happen.

Expecting a freebie if you’ve met the barista before.

At plenty of coffee shops, baristas don’t even get their own drinks for free — so don’t expect a barista buddy to give you your latte pro bono.

Not bussing your table.

Coffee shops don’t usually offer table service — so that means, once you’ve finished your drink or snack, it’s your job to pick up after yourself. Leaving a few crumbs on the table isn’t a big deal, but if there is a bussing station, there is no excuse for leaving your used plates, cup, and dirty napkins lying around.

Arriving just before closing time.

At any food-based establishment, it’s a pain when customers show up just a few minutes before closing, as most items have been put away and equipment has been cleaned at that point. If you must come in that late, make sure to take your order to go.

Sourced from instoredoes.com

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Shit Only Baristas Will Understand

If you’ve worked in the land of coffee, you’ll know how we feel. It’s a lonely world full of scowling zombies who haven’t had their fix, nicknaming the regulars and being grateful for people with manners. The fresh smell of coffee gets old real fast and all your left with is stained hands and sore feet. Baristas unite, you’re essentially supplying people with one of the only legal drugs left in the world. Go us!

The sick feeling you get when your alarm going off in what feels like the dead of the night and having to drag yourself out of bed and out the door while it’s still dark.

Alarm

Your friends whatsapp group starting to come alive 4 hours after you have because their jobs start at civilised hours.

Opening up the coffee shop with whoever is scheduled on with you and having a mutual understanding that there is no conversation before the coffee machine is turned on, functioning and you’ve both had your ‘hit’.

Having to clean the milk fridge is gag inducing.

How difficult it is to maintain your manners when someone orders while their on their phone.

The fact that most of your regulars have secret nicknames with your co-workers like ‘soy cap guy’ and ‘bitchy flat white’ (Actual nicknames)

“For here or to go?” is something that rolls off your tongue quicker than your name now.

During quiet times you’ve experimented by putting a chocolate bar IN a croissant and then toasting it, only for a customer to come up while your mouth is full and you can’t fully enjoy your majestic creation.

Being able to put on your own iPod playlist makes the day so.much.better.

You value the people who are patient and considerate more than they will ever know.

You are guilty of giving that total bitch “fat” instead of “non fat” because fuck her.

There are some customers that no matter how many times they tell you, you will just never remember their name and you feel really bad about it.

There is no better feeling then getting home after your early shift and having the majority of the day left to do whatever you want while your friends are still in work for at least another 3 hours.

The walk to work while the sun is rising and the world is still asleep can sometimes be incredible and you wonder why you’d do anything else.

Sourced from Collegetimes

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10 GUARANTEED WAYS TO SERIOUSLY ANGER YOUR BARISTA

Coffee shops function as surrogate offices. As places to meet people and jitter together while discussing poetry or something. But the more people get comfortable with their favorite cafe, the more they abuse the place, treating it like their living room sans the sweet bean bag chairs. And stuck playing Mom in that over-caffeinated living room is some poor barista who’s forced to be nice to your dumb ass because you provide tips. The following 10 behaviors are surefire ways to seriously piss off these hard-working bean-grinders… and, if you’re a culprit, you might be getting more than just coffee and milk in that double, soy half-caff latte.

1. Ordering like you’re at Starbucks
Outside of Starbucks, the word “grande” is reserved for burritos, and the word “venti” is baby talk. And if you order a macchiato at an authentic coffee shop, you’re not gonna get a jug of hot milk & coffee w/ enough caramel to make the spoon stick up. You’re getting a shot of espresso w/ a little milk in it. Go ahead and complain… you’ll go from pissing off the barista to making his day because you refuse to believe in a world outside of your bubble.
2. Leaving your dishes on the serving counter
You may be trying to be helpful, but by ignoring the gigantic bus tub with the “DISHES HERE” sign in bold, you’re creating a mess. The barista has to clear off the counter before finishing whatever drink he’s making, then scrub the counter down because you just soiled it.
3. Talking on your phone in line…
… or anywhere, really. If it’s an important call, go outside. It’s not. Nobody gives a crap about what you ate for breakfast. Nobody wants to hear you baby-talking to your dog on the answering machine. And nobody wants to wait extra-long for their drink because you’re too busy gabbing to pay attention and act like a human being.
4. Ordering overcomplicated milk combinations
Pick a milk and stick with it. Want soy? Fine. Want half & half? Fine. But don’t be the d-bag who orders 1/3 skim, 1/3 soy, 1/3 whole milk, then gets impatient when it takes extra time to make because you’re dominating the steamers… because you’re 100% a pain in the ass.
5. Ordering nothing but water and staying all day
You’ve seen this dude. He’ll park at a six-top table, grab a glass of water, then unload the contents of a backpack on all six spaces at the table, plug his computer into an outlet three tables away (creating a tripping hazard), then sit there all day drinking water like a camel. When he leaves, the table’s covered in empty glasses, torn paper, and crumbs from the snacks he packed from home. Somebody has to clean up after him. That person’s not very happy.
6. Dumping liquids in the trash
Once again ignoring the gigantic “DISHES HERE” sign, these folks think a trash bag is a sink. At the end of the shift, when baristas take out the trash as the last task of the evening, these bags’ll eventually rip (if they’re biodegradable bags, it’s almost guaranteed), leaving a trail of rank coffee and garbage streaked across the freshly cleaned floor. They’ll then spend every stroke of the mop trying to figure out who you are and plotting their revenge.
7. Bringing out your guitar
No. No no no. Never. No guitar, no ukulele, no violin, no nothing. Don’t even tap on the table. You are the worst person on the face of the Earth.
8. Tipping a nickel
Baristas do amazing things, typically for minimum wage. They wake you up in the morning. They toast your bagel. They pretend to like you. They make dainty floral designs on your foam. Yet some people see fit to tip them a nickel and, even worse, make sure the barista is looking as they put the change in the jar just so they can see how generous Daddy Warbucks really is. If this is you, don’t be surprised if that floral design soon becomes an “F U” design.
9. Imagining you have a real, non-customer-service relationship
Sometimes, a customer can forge a real amazing friendship w/ a barista. Maybe they’ll even hook up. But just because you see somebody every day at their place of work doesn’t mean you should get them a BFF locket. Or stalk them on Facebook. Or call them. Or spend your daily existence cornering them at the counter where they’re paid to be polite to you. If this person is your friend, they’ll give you their number.
10. Making a ghetto latte
We get it. Times are tough. But there’s nothing more obnoxious than ordering a shot of espresso, then requesting ice to put in it (after tipping that shiny new nickel), then going over to the cream and making yourself the poor-man’s latte, spilling cream and sugar all over the place in the process. You get a nasty, heavy-cream latte for a discounted price. The barista gets a crappy tip and the task of cleaning up your mess… right after he fills up the cream for the fifth time since you got there.
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