The Ten Worst Things About My Life As A Cashier

Cashiering is probably one of the worst jobs out there – okay, maybe not, but it still sucks sometimes.  You wouldn’t think so, right? Me neither.  I mean sometimes it can be an alright job, but some days I want to take customers and teach them manners – you know, those things your mom taught you when you were six.  That brings me to

#1. When people don’t show common courtesy.  Please – just say please and thank you.  You see, I have this disease called ‘chronic bitch-face.’   This means that unless I am smiling, or making some sort of other face, I look like a bitch.  I know that.  So I try really hard to smile and be nice to people to make their day better even though I hate smiling a lot unless I am really happy (which I usually am anyways, but not always at work).  So if I am making an effort to smile and be nice, why can’t they?   This is how it usually goes.  Me: “Hello, how are you today?” Customers: “How much for two seniors?”  Why not at least say hello?

#2 When people complain about the price.  I DON’T CHOOSE THE PRICES.  Yes, I think that it is a little high, but nobody is forcing you to eat here, I am not taking the money out of your wallet and putting it in the register.  So stop complaining to the cashiers.  If you have something to say, put it in the suggestion box, because I honestly don’t care. 

#3 When old people take too long.   Example:  An elderly couple comes in and they want to give me exact change.  I am okay with that, sometimes I even give people exact change.  The old man looks in his pocket and pulls out every single coin he has and puts it on the counter.  I try to help him, but he is a big boy and doesn’t need anybody’s help.  The line is getting longer and people are looking at me like “hey cashier, why is the line so long?  My time is valuable and I really want to hurry and get into this buffet.  I don’t have 5 minutes to watch this guy count all of his change.”  The woman finally realizes that people are getting impatient, so she decides that she will get out the change.  She lifts her purse up onto the counter and finds every single coin she has and adds them to her husbands.  By now, there is probably 3 or 4 dollars worth of change and they are struggling to find the exact amount.  The crowd is now furious.  After about 45 seconds of trying to count out 14cents, they decide to screw the change and give me all dollar bills.  This was neat because they didn’t waste anyone’s time.

 #4 When old creepy guys flirt with me.

#5 When people quiz me to see if I know where my name comes from.  OMG my name is from Les Miserables?! Thanks for letting me know, you must be really sophisticated.

#6 “Cash back you ask? Well, is it free?” Old people think asking this is hilarious.  It is a simple question.  You would not believe how many people will ask this.  It is not funny, and I only laugh because I will feel bad for you if I don’t.

#7 Guessing if customers are 60 years or older.  The buffet I work at has a senior discount, so if somebody is 60 or older they get 10% off.  Sometimes I give seniors the regular adult price because I am not sure if they are 60 0r not. How am I to know?  Well, here’s an idea: TELL ME YOU ARE A SENIOR.  I am not going to ask you.  That is asking for trouble, and more angry people.  The worst is when I give people the discount and they are only like 5o.  Hit the gym and eat better, then maybe you won’t look so freaking old.  Sometimes it is my fault though, I am not a very good guesser.

#8 Stupid questions.   

A:  “Is the carrot cake healthy?”  

B: “Do I have to wait in line?”

C:  “Can you tell me all the foods that are made with milk?”

D:  “I want to have my wedding here.”  That one is not really a question, I just thought it was funny.

Sometimes after people ask me questions like that, I just look at them like this:

#9 Stupid suggestions.  They say things like, “You need to make the booths bigger, I don’t fit.”

#10 When people think that they know more than me.  I realize that this sounds a little egotistical, but what I mean is that…well,  I know more than them.  They complain that we usually might have this or that, but we don’t.  And I know that they are old and confused but sometimes it makes me want to hit them.  I would never hit an old person, but you probably know what I mean.

Guys, I usually try to be positive, but I needed to vent okay?  Sometimes there are even customers that I like a little.  I guess what i’m trying to say is be nicer to cashiers.  And for all you old creepy guys out there, please leave me alone, you make me uncomfortable.

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