Just Funny Archives - Page 5 of 47 - I Hate Working In Retail

By

Target Now Sells Fifty Shades Cock Rings Next to Kids Toothbrushes

Target Now Sells Fifty Shades Cock Rings Next to Kids' Toothbrushes 

Target knows you’re a busy parent on the go, so when it comes to shopping, you don’t want to waste your time going from aisle to aisle to collect your kid’s toothbrushes, mouthwash and Fifty Shades of Grey marital aids. That’s why they put all of your needs into one place. They’re always thinking of you.

This picture, snapped by a reader in Tulsa, Oklahoma, is probably just a mistake, but also kind of genius. If your kids are using cute toothbrushes (useless for adults, by the way—I bought a singing Little Mermaid one and it did nothing for me) they probably don’t know what mommy and daddy (or any combination of parents) will be using the whips, chains and blindfolds for.

View image on Twitter

 .@Target think you might want to move the vibrating cock rings a bit further from the children’s tooth brushes

Of course, if you don’t let them know that those special lotions and vibrating rings are for special parent time only, they might do what one of my friend’s little brothers did once. He took us to the bathroom, where he showed us the funniest thing that a three-year-old could find: a giant double-ended dildo. Fun for the entire family, but mostly for the adults.

The best part, of course, is that according to our tipster, there’s a huge sign screaming “check this out” like no one’s going to notice this display first thing. I would. I would be there picking shit over and cackling loudly in a heartbeat. Did you learn nothing from Play-Doh, Target?

My only real issue? $15 for a branded blindfold? Don’t you think that’s putting your guests into bondage that’s more financial than sexual? I’ll give you $4.99 and that’s my last offer.

Sourced from jezebel.com

Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

By

Dopey criminal uses world’s worst robbery disguise to hold up his local bookies

Douglas Stewart scrawled his robbery demands on the back of a letter from bosses banning him from the betting shop and left it on the counter

Gaffe: Douglas Stewart staged what might be the most inept hold up attempt ever

A hapless crook glued paper hankies to his face in an attempt to hold up his local bookies where he had been a regular.

Douglas Stewart also stuffed tissues inside his mouth to hide his accent and scrawled his robbery demands on the back of a letter from bosses banning him from the betting shop.

Not surprisingly the 48-year-old’s plot failed when the cashier recognised him instantly.

Previously, bosses had told Stewart in a letter that he was no longer welcome at the betting shop – and he scrawled his robbery demands on the back of it.

He then left the letter – complete with his name and address – on the shop counter when he fled empty-handed, reports the Daily Record.

Rex Exeter crown court

Trial: Stewart was sentenced to three years and eight months in prison at Exeter Crown Court

Just in case Stewart hadn’t left enough evidence, he took off his disguise outside the shop in full view of a CCTV camera.

And a “closed” note he stuck to the shop door at the start of the raid had his finger- prints all over it.

Stewart raided the Betfred shop in Torquay, Devon, at 8.30am on August 27 last year. He had no shoes and odd socks.

He mumbled something at the cashier which she couldn’t understand because of the tissues in his mouth and his strong Airdrie accent, then gave her two bits of paper.

Devon and Cornwall Police Douglas Stewart

Jailed: Stewart raided the Betfred shop on August 27 last year

One said he had a bomb in his bag and wanted money. It told the cashier to give him the keys and lock herself in the toilet.

The other said ex-soldiers had the shop surrounded.

The cashier said she was calling the police. Stewart left when she set off a panic alarm and was arrested soon after.

Stewart pled guilty to attempted robbery. Exeter Crown Court heard he had 72 previous convictions and moved to Torquay after being jailed for robbery in Scotland.

Google maps Betfred

Feat: The Betfred shop in Torquay, Devon

Paul Dentith, defending, said his client was a heroin addict and the raid was more of a cry for help than a serious robbery attempt.

But judge Phillip Wassall told Stewart: “You have to consider it from the position of the cashier. She was scared for her life and I can see why she was.

“You pose a continuing risk to the public.”

He jailed Stewart for three years and eight months.

 

Sourced from mirror.com

Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

By

Woman Accuses Walmart Clerk Of Overcharging Her

a_1228_20150117110351

Sourced from dontpkethebear.com

Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •