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12 Absolutely Hilarious Receipt Tips


Ouch that hurts!: according to Twitter user @FutureExBanker (whose Twitter account has since disappeared), his “jerk boss tips exactly 1% because he loathes the 99%.”

NOTE: thanks to our reader Peter, for letting us know this story is fake.

The story was too good to be true. CNN, Huffington Post, and other media outlets ran with the story of the arrogant banker and his miserly recompense to the help. There was only one thing wrong — it really was too good to be true:

HuffPo later posted a statement from the restaurant that said that the photo had been “altered and exaggerated.” How exaggerated? Well, according to the local CBS affiliate — who actually asked the restaurant about the bill — the meal was just over $30 instead of $133, the tip was 20% and not 1%, and the customer didn’t write any note to the server on the bill. “Exaggerated” in this case serves as a synonym for “flat-out lie.”

(Source | Via)

On Jan. 8, 2012, Sunday night, a patron at one of Austin Grill’s area locations left a really great tip for his server, Zachary: a whopping $0. And, to explain his totally logical reasoning, wrote on the receipt’s tipline instead: “I make more money than you do. My time is worth more than yours.” (Source)

I can’t math.. the best excuse ever. (Source)

Tipping win. (Source)

Math is hard.

If you’re that broke, don’t go out to eat. (Source)

Submitted by Patrick in Kansas City, Missouri, who explains, “My friends Chris and Katie had a rude waitress a few weeks ago. In order to tell the waitress that there was indeed a reason she wasn’t getting a tip, Chris left this little note where the tip would ordinarily go.” (Source)

No tip + calling you fat, your day as a waiter/waitress can’t get better than that. Here is the story.

It all began on a Friday night in 2011, when a male customer at the city’s Bimbo’s Cantina restaurant left waitress Victoria Liss no tip, just this insult directly below the tip line on his credit card receipt:

“P.S. You could stand to loose (sic) a few pounds.”

Angry and armed with the receipt as evidence, Liss began a virtual manhunt, posting a picture of the receipt, with the man’s name, Andrew Meyer, clearly visible, on her Facebook page. With that, the search was underway for the man Liss called “yuppie scum.” Comments poured in and soon the photo and Facebook page of one “Andrew Meyer” were tracked down and posted and reposted through social media and on news sites. Seattle area bars even posted photos of the man, like the “Wanted” posters of old. One small problem. The angry mob marshaled by Liss had nabbed the wrong Andrew Meyer. (Source)

This restaurant tries to help you out with the suggested tip amount for your meal on the receipt. Too bad, it isn’t correct… (Source)

Donald Trump tipped a waiter $10,000 after running up a $82 tab at The Buffalo Club in Santa Monica in Dec. 2007.

The waiter, Billy, tells The Derober:


I finally brought them out the check. Trump grabbed it and actually spoke to me for the first time, “What’s the biggest tip you ever got?”

Billy says, “Jerry Bruckheimer comes in a lot. He tipped me $500 on a $1000 check once.”

Trump nodded his head and said “You’re very good at your job.”

Billy replied, “Thanks.” (Source)

Either the service was awful, the tipper is a dick, or the tipper has OCD and always needs to round to the tenth digit. His illness makes him a social pariah. (Source)

A server at a popular Lakeview, Illinois eatery didn’t find the humor in the above photo of a customer’s receipt. Apparently, the brunch guest—who happened to be a financial analyst—thought it would be a good idea to leave his “two cents” in lieu of a tip because he felt the establishment “needed faster cooks.” Oh, and to add insult to injury, he drew a picture of a smiley face emoticon. (Source

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12 Cleverest Tip Jars

Tipping isn’t always mandatory, but is a kind thing to do! Meet ten people who have figured out how to guilt, flatter, and trick customers into dropping a few dollars into their jars.

Every choice is a winner! (Photo)

What, you hate abandoned sea monsters? We didn’t think so. (Photo)

Flattery will get you everywhere. (Photo)

Money is yummy! (Photo)

Nobody wants children with mullets. Nobody. (Photo)

You can help save Nemo–ask us how! (Photo)

You cannot argue with this logic. (Photo)

Admit it, this is how we all feel on pay day. (Photo)

Bonus points for a Big Lebowski reference! (Photo)

We see what you did there. (Photo)

Embrace change, don’t fear it. (It all spends the same.) (Photo)

Clever! (Photo)

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27 Of The Hardest Grocery Decisions Ever Made. None easy i’m sure!!!!

1. Beer > Baby wipes


Via imgur.com

That’s why the labels are peel-able, right?

2. Toothpaste > Condoms


Via imgur.com

I guess this person was more into oral care than, well… ::: adjusts tie :::

3. Cognac > Lego’s


Via reddit.com

Booze is an acceptable gift for ages 5-12, right?

4. Frozen veggies > Coors


Via imgur.com

At 4/$5 this was a no-brainer.

5. Rice Krispies Treats > Condoms


Via reddit.com

At least the Rice Krispies Treats will last longer than five minutes. Hiyo!

6. Ruffles > Feminine pads


Via imgur.com

It’s that time of the month… Ruffles time!

7. School supplies > Smirnoff Ice


Via imgur.com

Her sorority sisters are gonna be pissed.

8. Sparkling wine > Underrated animated classics


Via reddit.com

What are they going to watch now? The ceiling spin?

9. Salad > Sandwich meat


Via imgur.com

Maybe they needed more fiber in their diet. We’ll never know.

10. Bacon > Cake and sushi


Via imgur.com

Was there really any debate?

11. Beer > Flowers


Via reddit.com

“I was going to apologize, but then I was like, nope.” — Whoever left these flowers.

12. Beer > Froot Loops


Via reddit.com

Somebody just found out that all the Froot Loops taste the same.

13. Snickers > Cabbage


Via imgur.com

That cabbage soup diet can wait until tomorrow. Tonight, we feast like kings!

14. Beer > Yogurt


Via reddit.com

Because beer.

15. Organic granola bars > Lubricant


Via imgur.com

What’s more arousing than a sensible snack made with wholesome, organic ingredients?

16. Chips > Condoms


Via reddit.com

“Who am I kidding? She’s never gonna call.” — The dude who left these than drowned his sorrows in saturated fats.

17. Cheese > Swedish Fish


Via reddit.com

It’s “cheese and crackers” not “Swedish Fish and crackers.” I mean, I guess you could eat Swedish Fish and crackers but then what’s next? Cats getting along with dogs? It would be pure anarchy!

18. Little Debbie > Lil Cuties


Via imgur.com

I’ve never noticed how wrong Little Debbie’s Little Muffins sounded until right now.

19. Little Debbie’s > 10 Minute workout system


Via reddit.com

I’m guessing this is the same person who gave up the Lil Cuties.

20. Beer > Chicken Wings


Via reddit.com

Ain’t no thang to leave behind the chicken wings!

21. Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuit mix > Goth dolls


Via imgur.com

What little girl wouldn’t rather be surprised with cheesy, herby, goodness than a doll? No girl, that’s who.

22. Boxed wine > Potatoes


Via reddit.com

I’m not going to lie but I might have left those.

23. Diapers > Turkey hunting decoy


Via reddit.com

Somebody just got the text saying, “U think UR going with th boys this weeknd? Think again, buster!”

24. Diabetes Weight Loss Kit > Cookies


Via imgur.com

“Oh, yeah. That’s what all that insulin in the fridge is for.”

25. Ice Cream > Broccoli


Via reddit.com

I’m sure whoever left this broccoli had a good, long, three-second debate before trading it in for some Mint Chip.

26. Pregnancy test > Bananas


Via reddit.com

Contrary to the old wives tale, bananas are not a reliable way to find out if one is with child.

27. Bananas > Dildo


Via imgur.com

It’s probably because they don’t sell dildos in bunches at this store.

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