12 Absolutely Hilarious Receipt Tips

Ouch that hurts!: according to Twitter user @FutureExBanker (whose Twitter account has since disappeared), his “jerk boss tips exactly 1% because he loathes the 99%.”

NOTE: thanks to our reader Peter, for letting us know this story is fake.

The story was too good to be true. CNN, Huffington Post, and other media outlets ran with the story of the arrogant banker and his miserly recompense to the help. There was only one thing wrong — it really was too good to be true:

HuffPo later posted a statement from the restaurant that said that the photo had been “altered and exaggerated.” How exaggerated? Well, according to the local CBS affiliate — who actually asked the restaurant about the bill — the meal was just over $30 instead of $133, the tip was 20% and not 1%, and the customer didn’t write any note to the server on the bill. “Exaggerated” in this case serves as a synonym for “flat-out lie.”

(Source | Via)

On Jan. 8, 2012, Sunday night, a patron at one of Austin Grill’s area locations left a really great tip for his server, Zachary: a whopping $0. And, to explain his totally logical reasoning, wrote on the receipt’s tipline instead: “I make more money than you do. My time is worth more than yours.” (Source)

I can’t math.. the best excuse ever. (Source)

Tipping win. (Source)

Math is hard.

If you’re that broke, don’t go out to eat. (Source)

Submitted by Patrick in Kansas City, Missouri, who explains, “My friends Chris and Katie had a rude waitress a few weeks ago. In order to tell the waitress that there was indeed a reason she wasn’t getting a tip, Chris left this little note where the tip would ordinarily go.” (Source)

No tip + calling you fat, your day as a waiter/waitress can’t get better than that. Here is the story.

It all began on a Friday night in 2011, when a male customer at the city’s Bimbo’s Cantina restaurant left waitress Victoria Liss no tip, just this insult directly below the tip line on his credit card receipt:

“P.S. You could stand to loose (sic) a few pounds.”

Angry and armed with the receipt as evidence, Liss began a virtual manhunt, posting a picture of the receipt, with the man’s name, Andrew Meyer, clearly visible, on her Facebook page. With that, the search was underway for the man Liss called “yuppie scum.” Comments poured in and soon the photo and Facebook page of one “Andrew Meyer” were tracked down and posted and reposted through social media and on news sites. Seattle area bars even posted photos of the man, like the “Wanted” posters of old. One small problem. The angry mob marshaled by Liss had nabbed the wrong Andrew Meyer. (Source)

This restaurant tries to help you out with the suggested tip amount for your meal on the receipt. Too bad, it isn’t correct… (Source)

Donald Trump tipped a waiter $10,000 after running up a $82 tab at The Buffalo Club in Santa Monica in Dec. 2007.

The waiter, Billy, tells The Derober:

Billy says, “Jerry Bruckheimer comes in a lot. He tipped me $500 on a $1000 check once.”

Trump nodded his head and said “You’re very good at your job.”

Billy replied, “Thanks.” (Source)

Either the service was awful, the tipper is a dick, or the tipper has OCD and always needs to round to the tenth digit. His illness makes him a social pariah. (Source)

A server at a popular Lakeview, Illinois eatery didn’t find the humor in the above photo of a customer’s receipt. Apparently, the brunch guest—who happened to be a financial analyst—thought it would be a good idea to leave his “two cents” in lieu of a tip because he felt the establishment “needed faster cooks.” Oh, and to add insult to injury, he drew a picture of a smiley face emoticon. (Source