Ah, the world of retail. It can be a joyous experience of unbridled buying or an agonizing trek through a labyrinth of lines, waiting, and confusion. The odds are, at some point, the difference in which experience you have will quite possibly lie in the folks behind the customer service desk. While there are always going to be a handful of senselessly bitter people in every industry, for the most part, retail workers are happy to help anyone willing to be patient enough to give them a chance.

Although there are a certain breed of consumer who inexplicably feel that being as rude and loud as possible are the best ways to get what they want, anyone who’s ever been on the other side of the cash register already knows that this is faulty logic. While the rude may occasionally get lucky and come across a manager too tired to deal with them, there are definitely better and easier ways to increase the odds of getting helpful service. Here are few of the things retail workers wish they could tell you:

If you’re nice to me, I’ll do everything I can to make sure you get what you want. Not many people are.

Screaming at someone you know can’t fight back may not be the best way to inspire their eagerness to help.

The uniform does not lie.

Whatever it is, it’s probably not my fault.

I actually have very little power.

But I’m not totally powerless…

Your threats to kill my long, promising future at Kmart may not hold as much weight as you assume.

Your threats to take your business elsewhere may not hold as much weight as you assume.

No matter how long you’ve been standing there, I’ve been standing here longer.

My job’s not as easy as you think… and getting angry at me doesn’t make it any easier.

Nothing in here is worth setting a bad example over.

You might be surprised how often I actually agree with you.

Happy shopping!