retail lists Archives - Page 22 of 35 - I Hate Working In Retail

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17 SIGNS YOU’VE WORKED AT STARBUCKS

17 Signs You've Worked At Starbucks

The other day, my boyfriend Nick and I were in the middle of ordering our drinks at Starbucks when two or three different coffee timers started going off at at the same time behind the register. Our frazzled barista gasped, “Oh my gosh, just a second,” then sprinted back and forth between brewing machines, frantically trying to locate and reset the offending timers. Nick and I smiled sympathetically; we knew her plight all too well. “We both used to work at Starbucks,” I said, “so don’t worry, we understand!” When she had finally silenced the cacophony of urgent, high-pitched beeping, she leaned over the cash register and whispered, “When you worked here, did you ever hear that beeping … like … in your head?”

“YES,” we both answered immediately.

“It was like a ringing in my ears that never stopped,” said Nick.

“I had recurring nightmares about a coffee timer that had no reset button,” I said. “It just kept beeping for all eternity. I used to wake up in a cold sweat!”

You see, working at Starbucks, it changes you. Whether you love it or you hate it, you’re never quite the same after you don that famous green apron. The experience is equal parts educational, inspirational, and traumatizing, but one thing’s for sure: all Starbucks employees, past and present, share a very special bond. Here are a few surefire signs that you are one of us:

1. No matter where you work now, you still call all your coworkers “partners.”

2. Whenever you hear any kind of beeping (cell phone alarms, oven timers, etc), you freak out and try to rebrew coffee.

3. You have at least one burn scar on your body that, when people ask you how you got it, you just say, “Eggnog.”

4. You order all your Starbucks drinks the “right way.” And cringe when other people don’t.

5. You find yourself facing items and rearranging things so they look nice in the cold case while waiting in line.

6. You can’t help but judge people you meet based on their favorite Starbucks drink.

7. You tip really well. At all coffeeshops, but especially Sbux.

8. Your Starbucks order is still an obscure, super complicated drink you made up when you worked there.

9. …unless the store you go to is super busy, which means you order something basic, like a “tall coffee,” just to cut the barista on bar a break.

10. You can’t wear khaki pants or polo shirts without feeling like you’re going to work.

11. You always buy a pound of beans when Starbucks is doing a sales push. Not because you need or want them, but because you feel bad for the barista trying to reach their sales quota for the day.

12. You feel closer to the people you worked morning rush shifts with than you do with your own family.

13. Every time you go to the doctor, you half-expect to get the news that your lungs are coated in a thick layer of matcha powder and you only have 3 weeks to live.

14. No matter how long it’s been since you worked there, you still feel a little rebellious every time you paint your nails or dye your hair an “unnatural” color.

15. Howard Schultz is one of your father figures.

16. You’re secretly appalled when any of your subsequent jobs don’t offer full healthcare benefits and stock options.

17. You’ve still got a stained green apron crammed in the corner of your closet, because, for some reason, you just couldn’t bear to get rid of it.

Sourced from thefrisky.com

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11 Things Retail Workers Hate About Christmas

December is always the busiest month of the year in retail. We all hire extra Christmas staff, buy triple the amount of stock and deck our stores out with festive cheer. At least this is what our pleasant exteriors show.

Our interiors are a lot less shiny and bright and more rusty and cynical. By time Christmas day actually rolls around we’re all freakish zombie like creatures that would rather have a day long snooze fest than face a full day of family celebrations. Why? Because we’re underpaid, overworked, glorified slaves to the flocking unorganised masses who think we’re robots not actual human beings.

There’s a reason we lose our holiday cheer and start picking up the Grinch’s cynical attitude. To us Christmas isn’t pretty and that’s just a fact. To help everyone understand here are 11 of the reasons us retail workers enter auto pilot mode for the entire month of December.

24/7 Christmas carols

It’s bad enough we get the pleasure of listening to these repetitive tunes all day every day, we don’t need every second customer complaining about them too. Yes we know they suck, we also know they’re annoying. Geez thanks for pointing out that they’re playing everywhere, we really hadn’t noticed.

Come December 1st the crazies come out to play

For 11 months of the year a large proportion of shoppers are in hibernation. Come the start of December they come back out to play. Their mission to drive us bat shit crazy. These are the shoppers that combine all the traits we hate in customers and wrap themselves up in one neat package for us to want to chuck in the trash. Please, just please leave us alone.

The loss of our social lives

9pm trades every night, plus chuck in a couple 7am opens and midnight closes and it’s safe to say our schedule looks a lot like the social butterflies nightmare. We often do our Christmas shopping on our short lunch breaks, fighting the crowds to get a lousy sandwich from the food court and don’t even get me started on the brutality of the car park. They’re a war zone where no one is safe, even the trenches offer no recluse. Your bestie wants to go the movies, no sorry hun, I’ve got a full day of sorting out the world’s crap.

Professional tantrum chucker’s

Two words. School holidays. Oh hell no!

The bargain hunters

No I cannot mark the price down for you, no buying two of the same thing won’t change that. No they won’t be going on sale any time soon. No I cannot give it to you for free because it didn’t scan. And, my all time favourite, no I cannot give you, a complete stranger my staff discount.

The indecisive shopper

I am not your personal shopper! I do not know what colour your mother in law will prefer! Furthermore I don’t know a damn thing about you, I’m here to assist you, not do all the hard work for you.

The last minute panicked shopper

When we shut our doors we will not re-open them because you’re shouting at us from outside. Rattling the doors will not help; it will just piss us of more. If you walk in a minute before closing and want to ‘browse’ kindly f@#* off. We don’t get paid enough to stay back after hours to serve you. Please just let us go home we don’t bug you at your place of work when you’re about to knock off.

The superiority complex of customers

Last time I checked my job description does not include ‘your own personal house slave’. Just because we work in retail does not mean we’re the bottom of the food chain. In fact 99% of the time we’re actually smarter and more switched on than you are. Just so you’re aware, whoever created the slogan ‘the customer is always right’ clearly never worked in retail because THE CUSTOMER IS NEVER RIGHT! so in future please refrain from using that wildly inaccurate phrase, it only proves that we really aren’t beneath you.

The ‘can I speak to your manager’ customer

If I tell you we can’t refund the item you kid smashed, then we can’t refund it. If you ask for my manager, they’re going to come out and tell you the same thing. The quality of service does not change between our bosses and us. At Christmas they work ridiculous overtime so if anything they’re less inclined to want to deal with your crap than we are.

The cringe worthy ‘Do you gift wrap?’ question

Sure thing as long as you’re happy with a scrunched up box with too much sticky tape. We have not had professional training. If you want you presents wrapped do it yourself, or pay the worker at the gift-wrapping station who has nothing better to do. The ten customers in my line waiting to be served are way more important than you being too lazy to wrap your own gifts.

Becoming the GRINCH when everyone else is all festive

We deal with a lot of shit especially at Christmas. So forgive us for feeling less than cheery when you all set out to make our lives miserable

 

Sourced from abeautifulmessme.com

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10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop

1. When a customer walks in, looks around, and asks: “Is this Bath and Body Works?”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
NBC / Via http://giphy.com

No. This is the Body Shop.

2. Or: “Do you guys have those plug-ins?”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
NBC / Via http://reactiongifs.me

You’re thinking of Bath and Body Works.

3. Or: “What about the foaming soap?”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
Warner Bros. / Via http://reactiongifs.com

Once again, ma’am, this is the Body Shop, not Bath and Body Works.

4. Or: “Bath bombs/melts?”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
Bravo / Via http://earlymama.com

L-U-S-H.

5. When a customer grabs the Banana Shampoo, reads the ingredients, and asks: “If this is all-natural, can I, like, drink it?”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
The CW / Via http://nsmbl.com

I mean, you can, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

6. When a customer refers to the Hemp Hand Protector as “Marijuana hand cream,” and addresses the following concern: “This could get me high, right?”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
FOX / Via http://BuzzFeed.com

Yes. Hand creams are a gateway drug.

7. When a customer smells the actual product and they say something like, “This smells a lot like grapefruit.”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
NBC / Via http://starcrush.com

Well, I should hope so because that is Pink Grapefruit Body Butter. “But who would want to smell like a grapefruit?” I don’t know…

8. When you and a customer engage in a battle of “Yes-and-No” and they insist you have lavender-scented anything.

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
NBC / Via http://giphy.com

You’re thinking of L’Occitane. “No, I’m pretty sure I got it here.” Yeah… No.

9. When a customer sees the Sensual Massage Oil and asks you if it will get them any “action.”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
AMC / Via http://Reactiongifs.us

Just go away. Please.

10. And finally – that Twin Ball Massager. Raise your hand if a customer has ever referred to it as a “penis.”

10 Things That Happen When You Work At The Body Shop
Paramount Pictures / Via http://imgarcade.com
Sourced from buzzfeed.com
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