retail lists Archives - Page 8 of 35 - I Hate Working In Retail

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The 15 Retail Employees From Hell. Do You Work With Any Of These?

The most important assets any business has are their employees.

Sometimes you discover you’ve got a co-worker from hell.

You know, the Bitter Betty employee who looks like they sucked on a lemon.

employee from hell retail tips

The 15 Employees From Hell

1. The Know-It-All. No matter how you tell this person how you want something done, they always say that they already do it that way… but they continue to keep doing it wrong.

2. The Negative Nancy. Nothing is going right. No one is doing anything well. Everything is someone else’s fault. They suck the exuberance out of living.

3. The Child. This one is constantly making a list of what they are going to do, but they never get it done – unless you continually nag them. They always leave messes for others to clean up, and they are out the door at 5:00 regardless of whether they’ve finished or not…usually not.

4. The Zombie. These are the ones who think if their body shows up, that’s enough; that their job is to just be present for their shift. No effort, no engagement, no self-directed activity. They are bored from the moment they clock in.

5. The Thief. Obviously, these are the ones who steal your merchandise.

6. The Discounter. These are the ones who find a way to offer unauthorized discounts to customers to make sales. They’ll say they had to price-match, or they ‘ll hide evidence of having used discount codes for customers who did not qualify for those discounts. They then compound their crime by bragging about their numbers, claiming they were generated because the customerslike their service better.

7. The Lawyer. This demon does only what is in their job description instead of understanding that they have to go with the flow.

8. The Busybody. They love to know everyone’s business. And they gossip everyone’s business to everyone… about their employers, other employees and customers.

9. The Arguer. They never like the way you do a task, a display or a sale. They want to do it theirway. They’ll argue to your face that you’re wrong. They’ll argue just to be right.

10. The Phantom. These ones are always texting or taking personal calls while they ignore all of your customers.

11. The Corpse. These are the ones with that deer-in-the-headlights expression when you ask them to do something. They look at you and smile without a nod or indication they heard you. They just stand there. They’d rather be dead than be your employee.

12. The Soulless Plodder. They take forever to clean, stack, organize or price something. Their goal is to stretch out a job for as long as they can, showing just enough progress to say they aregetting it done.

13. The Despot. When the boss is away, they do everything except what they are supposed to be doing; in their eyes they have free reign. They take long breaks, don’t greet customers or do the rest of their job. When they do deal with customers, they are short and rude and given enough freedom, close up early.

14. The Ninja. They are the ones who hide behind the rack, find things to do in the stockroom to keep them off the floor, or disappear as soon as someone enters their section. They would rather be stacking pants, re-pricing or cleaning. They don’t like to talk to anyone…especially your customers.

15. The Distractor. These employees spend all their time preventing other employees from working. No one gets anything done…and that’s fine with them.

Sourced from retaildoc.com

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10 Things To Expect From Customers Working In Retail

Sorry, but you’re going to work a customer service job, and it won’t be cute.

With graduation quickly approaching, you’re probably thinking now’s the time to start looking for a real job. Well, I have some good news and I have some bad news for you. The bad news is, the unemployment rate is still pretty high and those four years (or in my case, six) and $100,000 you just spent on college is gonna land you nowhere in this economy. Also, you’re going to be spending the next forty years of your life paying that $100,000 back. And you’re never going to actually use your degree. And you’re probably going to end up in a loveless marriage with three unappreciative bratty kids who suck you dry of all your self-worth. And then, while you’re out getting pizza one afternoon, your spouse will leave you for a younger, much more attractive version of yourself who doesn’t nag or ask when dinner is. The good news is, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO.

All that being said, you’re probably going to spend at least the next five years of your life in some sort of retail/customer service position until the economy turns around (haha) or until you win the lottery (hahahaha). Oddly enough, that position looks a lot like this position:

Stick figures having sex doggystyle position

So as you prepare yourself for a career in customer service (after you graduate college, a retail job is no long considered “cute” or “a way to make extra cash,” it’s just really, really sad), I want to help put you into the mindset of the wonderful consumers you’re about to encounter on a regular basis.

1. “Forget for a minute that you’re a human being.”

I get it. Your dad just died and you got hit by a car on your bike on the way here. I’m sure all of that is fascinating. But could you shut up long enough to make my Whopper? And could you stop crying into my fries? Oh, and could you get me a straw? And a napkin? And then could you possibly wipe my ass for me?

2. “Whatever you’re doing, do it faster.”

Listen, people have real jobs to get to, so could you make that McMuffin a little faster? I’ve got a Gap employee to harass and a US Bank customer service representative to reduce to tears.

3. “I’m glad I have holidays off. Me. Not you.”

It really sucks that they make you work on Christmas. I’m really sorry about that. It’s just really not fair—oh wait, I asked for this steak to be medium rare. It looks medium. Could you take it back?

4. “You’ve got legs. Use them.”

I realize I could walk the five feet to the condiment bar and get a Splenda myself, but you’re RIGHT THERE. Could you walk the five feet to the condiment bar and get a Splenda for me?

5. “Everything is your fault.”

I got a parking ticket, my husband is cheating on me, my Pomeranian has alopecia and my right pinky toe hurts. I understand that none of this is your fault, but I’m going to take it out on you and be a dick anyway.

6. “I know how to do your job better than you.”

Let’s disregard the fact that you’ve been working here for however many months/years. And that you had to take a bunch of shitty, boring training classes. Or that you spend eight hours a day, five days a week doing this job. As someone who is in here for up to 10 minutes at a time, let me tell you how to do your job for you. From the other side of the counter. In front of other customers. Making you feel like a piece of shit makes me feel better about my own monotonous existence.

7. “Since you work here, you’re probably an idiot.”

Listen, Robot, I don’t want view my coffee shop barista or my fast food restaurant cashier to be an actual person. It’s much easier for me to just assume that Starbucks or McDonald’s created you at their factory where they create all of their employees. So just smile, make my order, give me everything I want, and we won’t have any problems. I don’t care that you’re in school or that you already graduated or that you’re in a master’s program at Harvard. Give me more free ketchup!

8. “This call is really important.”

I honestly don’t know why you feel the need to interrupt my phone call to try to take my order—it’s rude and inconveniencing. Don’t you understand exactly what I want when I randomly point at the menu and mumble “coffee”? Oh, and when you get it wrong, I am going to yell at you.

9. “You should know everything and nothing at the same time.”

What do you mean you don’t know if the Denny’s off Route 9 in Topeka, Kansas is open past ten? Or what the phone number is to the Holiday Inn on Times Square? God, don’t you know anything?

10. “You should be grateful for everything I do for you.”

Here! Look! I’m putting thirty five cents into the tip jar. No, don’t turn away, watch me put it in there otherwise it doesn’t count! LOOK!!! Oh, you didn’t see? Well, since you didn’t see it, I just wanted to tell you that I put it in there, so you know I put it in there, so you can thank me and be grateful that I’m helping put some Top Ramen on your $25 IKEA kitchen table.

Now that you’ve caught this glimpse into the heads of consumers everywhere, I hope you’re better armed for the journey you’re about to embark on; the horrible, degrading, mindfucking journey called customer service. Now click the “5 star” rating underneath this article, Robot.

Sourced from pointsincase.com

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10 Stupid Things Starbucks Customers Do

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz in his book “Onward” outlines many of the different routes and obstacles Starbucks has faced in the last 10 years to become the world’s most desired brand to get coffee from. What Howard Schultz does not talk about, however, is the coffee addiciton of Starbucks customers who walk in daily and do or say stupid things in almost every Starbucks location around the world. I visit Starbucks regularly [never to get coffee, by the way], and I notice so many stupid customers doing stupid things that it is amazing how people can feel so important and proud ordering the premium Starbucks coffee in front of everyone while also acting stupid on a human level.

Because of the premium lifestyle image that Starbucks creates for its coffee drinkers, more and more customers start to feel as if they are buying a Land Rover and need full time customer support and nurturing in common sense and courtesy. I do not like businesses that treat customers badly, and I also do not like customers who treat businesses and their employees badly for no good reason, even when seen from the shoes of the business or the customer. Maybe one day soon I’ll write about the 10 stupid things Starbucks Baristas do. Today I’ll focus on the stupid customers I’ve seen or noticed myself in the last year.

Here are 10 top stupid things I have seen Starbucks customers do or say on a regular basis. Amazing how coffee can make you feel proud but not make you smarter or more considerate.

10 Stupid Things Starbucks Customers Do

Starbucks

1. People who say “That’s a tall? I wanted the biggest one!” or “I don’t speak Starbucks” or yell “I don’t know what size!“

Look at the menu, idiot. You can order complicated drinks in Starbucks lingo to show off to everyone but you don’t know what cup size you want the drink in?

2. Customers who stand in long lines only to get to the register and then decide what they want, making everyone else behind them wait even longer.

Many times when I’m at restaurants or in lines at fast food places, I can’t decide what I want and I wait to get the waiter over or get to the cashier so I can simply blurt out the first thing that I can think of within 5 seconds or so. I then stick with that order. But people in Starbucks lines get to the cashier and then start looking at the menu to decide what they want, as if the menu was hidden from them on purpose before they got to the cashier.

3. Demanding a free drink because Starbucks ran out of coffee, because the drink wasn’t cold enough, or because your drink wasn’t made within 30 seconds of your order.

Amazing how people feel rich and try to portray a luxurious lifestyle in front of others while also trying to score a free coffee fix.

4 Ordering customized drinks or foods that are exactly the same or worse than their non-customized counterparts.

Starbucks Via Ready

Starbucks Via Ready – let’s see if you can make this at home with 200 degree heat!

Many people simple want to feel and appear smarter publicly, and after a while such people start believing their own lie that their custom order is what is really better for them. “Grande extra hot, soy, caramel macchiato, no foam, stirred, with whip, extra caramel, at 200 degrees.” What the hell does that even mean? My mouth just drops open or my eyes go wide in shock when people request that. Am I too weak to taste anything that’s hotter than a bit hot? Yeah, as if 195 degree or even 100 degrees won’t be hot enough for your tongue or as if you’ll know the difference in temperature because you’re a Camel.

Or “asiago cheese bagel [what the hell is that? :O], the middle one right there, toasted, triple toasted, and 2 cream cheese on the side.” Triple toasted apparently makes it kosher, as double toasted or toasted even one would still get you raw bagel, wouldn’t it? Or “extra whipped cream” on “non-fat” drinks. That’s the same as ordering a full menu burger at Carl’s Jr. with a diet soda and hoping the soda will help make others not call you fat.

5. People grabbing any drinks that the baristas call out, without checking their own names on the drinks.

And then drinking those drinks and only then coming back and complaining that they do not have the right drinks. Check your name on the cup or ask any barista before you pick up a cup.

6. People who empty the condiment bar without being considerate.

People love emptying milk at the condiment bar without notifying anyone or by using too much milk, and then complaining themselves also sometimes about not having enough milk. And when I walk up they simply walk off, knowing fully well that I’ll look at them and ask “You drank the whole thing like it was Nesquik Chocolate Milk?

7. Saying “I have a Starbucks card!” or “Ring that order separately!” after the barista has taken all of your order and rang you up.

This one happens a lot, and every time this happens, the line behind gets longer.

Drink Coffee - Do Stupid Things Faster with More Energy

Drink Coffee – Do Stupid Things Faster with More Energy

8. People who tell cashiers “Others [other baristas] know my drink.“

Who cares? That so and so barista is not taking your order. Tell this current Starbucks employee about your drink if you want to order anything. Or get out of the line and wait for your barista to come and make you the drink so you don’t have to repeat your order since you apparently have no idea what the heck you drink.

9. People who cut the line and interrupt customers giving their orders to baristas, only to ask for a cup of water.

I have had people interrupt my pastry or chocolate brownies orders just to get water or extra napkins. Wait till the barista in question is not taking any order!

10. People who order their drinks and immediately act impatient, demanding their drinks right away.

So many people order their drinks and immediately start saying “I’m late for work” or “I’ve to be somewhere.” This is a Starbucks, not a vending machine. Your drink will take as long as it takes to make your drink. If you’re in a hurry, you shouldn’t be stopping for your Starbucks cocaine addiction fix you junkie.

 

Sourced from thereasoner.com

 

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