retail lists Archives - Page 20 of 30 - I Hate Working In Retail

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Advice for Pharmacy Patients about MONDAYS

Check this out from the crazyrxman.blogspot.com

Dear Patients,Let’s talk about Mondays.Monday is NOT the day for you to go to the pharmacy. Monday is not the day for you to request your refill. Monday is not the day for you to come anywhere near the pharmacy? No, we’re not “slow” on Monday and busy on the weekends. The opposite is true.

Monday is THE busiest day
of the week for all pharmacies. 
1. At most pharmacies there hasn’t been a delivery of medication since Friday.We’re going to get a big order on Monday. That takes time to check and get shelved.2. We have a bunch of partials (prescriptions that we didn’t have a full quantity of product and dispensed a few tablets) from the weekend that get filled on Monday after the order arrives.3. Things we didn’t have in stock over the weekend get filled Monday morning after the order arrives.4. People requested refills from their doctor over the weekend… those requests don’t get seen by the doctor until Monday morning and those prescriptions that get approved get sent over to the pharmacy on Monday morning.

5. Few doctors keep weekend hours, and most of those doctors try to see all their patients on Monday morning. That means about 10am they’re going to flood the pharmacy with their new prescriptions.

6. Most people start their work week on Monday and one of the first things they do is request refills for all their medications. Oh, they could have done it over the weekend but they were too busy grilling.7. For some reason people think we’re closed on Saturday and Sunday. So they show up on Monday.So, dear Patient, please stay away from the pharmacy on Monday. Don’t call or come by unless you really need to. Call in your refills on Saturday or Sunday. If you just have to see your doctor on Monday, bring your prescription by the pharmacy on Tuesday or later in the week. We’re plenty busy at the pharmacy on Monday. We’re about a nine on the tension scale Monday morning. Wait times are longer on Monday.

Make your life easier and our life easier:
 
STAY AWAY FROM THE
PHARMACY ON MONDAY!

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THE WEIRDEST ORDERS WAITERS HAVE EVER GOTTEN, ACCORDING TO REDDIT

SHUTTERSTOCK (EDITED)

Your gross friend who orders General Tso’s with brown rice isn’t the only weirdo who frequents restaurants. There’s a whole population of inscrutable eaters out there, and servers from all over recently took to Reddit to out those freaks. While the entire “Waiters of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous order someone’s placed…?” thread is unbelievable, these were eight of our favorites. May you never encounter the heathen who requested microwaved root beer.

8. No-pepperoni pepperoni pizza

“A lady calls and orders a ‘small pepperoni pizza with no pepperoni’ I clarify and ask her ‘So just a small cheese?’ To which the woman, clearly annoyed by my lack of understanding , says ‘NO. A small pepperoni with no pepperoni.’ I again clarify and ask ‘You want a pizza with sauce and cheese only?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Ok so a cheese pizza.’ ‘NO I WANT A SMALL PEPPERONI WITH NO PEPPERONI.’

We made her a cheese pizza. She didn’t call and complain. Still not sure what the f*** she thought she was ordering.”

7. A “regular” filet mignon

“Had a lady order our filet mignon, when it was brought out to her she said with disgust that she had ordered the filet, not a steak. She proceeded to argue that a filet mignon was a type of baked potato rather than a steak.

EDIT: Damn this blew up, and when asked how she wanted it cooked she looked puzzled and said ‘regular’ which I took as meaning medium.”

6. The “Doughnut Explosion”

“At the Italian restaurant I worked at as a server/bartender/manager for 5 years, we had a lot of regular customers come in and had some strange requests. Most were nothing too special, but one guy would come in 4-5 days a week, and he would never order anything on the menu unless it was a busy night and we wouldn’t have time to ‘get crazy’. On the slower nights though, he would order things with sauces we didnt normally make, or special dessert concoctions (even though we prepared desserts daily, and did not make them to order).

The craziest thing he ever ordered though, was a Doughnut Explosion. To be clear, we did not nor know how to make doughnuts. However, there was a Dunkin Donuts next to our location, and he sent one of his favorite servers next door to pick up a dozen random doughnuts. When he came back, the customer told me which ones he wanted on his dessert, and I proceeded to go back into the kitchen and whip up his dessert to his specification. It consisted of 2 doughnuts, topped with vanilla ice cream, layered between the brownie cake that was our house specialty, and topped with Chambord and a port wine fig sauce that we put on pork chops. This was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen in a restaurant, but he let me try a bite and it was f***ing amazing!”

5. Ice cream sundae, extra Heinz

“Used to be a waiter. Had a family come in and eat. Little boy eventually orders dessert. Vanilla ice cream and ketchup.

Yes, he put the ketchup on the ice cream. No, I didn’t stick around to watch. I would’ve thrown up.”

4. Egg-less omelet

“Over the summer, I had a customer who came in for Sunday brunch and ordered a spinach and feta cheese omelet. She then adds that she would like it made without eggs. I clarified that she wanted an omelet WITHOUT eggs, not made with egg whites which is quite normal.

We made her a spinach feta salad and the customer was happy.”

3. Warm root beer

“I had someone order a warm root beer. As in, stuck in the microwave and heated up. I definitely made a face but I did it. Really sucks to work somewhere that has bottomless pop and be sticking one in the microwave every 15 minutes.”

2. The spaghetti appetizer

“I once had a guy place his order, and then say ‘And give me one of those spaghetti appetizers.’

I had been working there for a couple months, and we had no pasta dishes whatsoever on the menu. I politely tried to clarify this, but he wasn’t having it. He just kept getting more irate. He insisted that he eats here all the time, and he always gets the spaghetti appetizer.

Eventually, he gets up from his table, storms over to another one, and points at what he wants on another diner’s table. He was pointing at their cole slaw. And yes, as far as he was concerned, I was still the asshole for not knowing what he was talking about.

Edit 1: Our slaw was a southern style slaw, where the cabbage is shredded. So, the cabbage is in strings, but you would still have to be some sort of weirdo to confuse it with noodles. And a few people have mentioned a Dane Cook bit. I’m not familiar with that joke, but after doing some googlin’, it appears that is a joke about messing with staff at a restaurant. This happened in 1994, and the customer was an older, well dressed guy out to dinner with his wife. I’m positive he wasn’t f***ing with me, he was just an obnoxious a-hole that expected me to know what his confused mind was talking about.”

1. The dolphin sideshow

“As a waiter at a coastal restaurant, we occasionally had dolphins come in the harbor right to where people would eat. These two old ladies came in and before they placed their orders, demanded I release the dolphins for their amusement. It took a good 10 seconds of silence before I realized they were serious. I passed this request onto my manager and then continued to eat free jumbo shrimp.”

Sourced from thrillist.com

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WHAT PEOPLE IN RETAIL REALLY THINK ABOUT YOU.

11. Learn how to answer, “how are you doing today?”

I never knew the question, “hi, how are you doing today?” could cause so much confusion until I started working in retail.  I’ve learned that about a quarter of people have no idea how to properly respond to such a seemingly simple inquiry.  Here is a list of responses that don’t count as suitable answers to the obligatory greeting here in the United States:

  • “Just looking.”
  • “No.”
  • “Yes.”
  • “Where is [insert product here].”
  • “I’ll get you when I need you.”
  • “Fine.”
  • “I’m not stealing anything.”

Nonverbal replies that don’t count are grunts, sighs of annoyance, and total silence.  But the one that completely irritates me is a swat of the hand.  Don’t you dare silently swat your hand at me a few times to tell me to go away when all I did was greet you.  I’m not a fly you need to swish away so please open your mouth and use your words if you’re going to be so barbarous.

So remember, the polite answer to “how are you doing today?” is something along the lines of “pretty good, thanks.”  I didn’t personally create our culture’s insistence upon inquiring about your mood as a form of a polite greeting, but I participate in this absurdity anyway.  Since I do count as a human being (contrary to popular belief that salespeople are people too), proper etiquette dictates that you give me a polite reply.  I don’t want your life story; I just want some respect.

Why hello! My company hires hotties to get you to stop blowing us off.

10. It’s not our fault when you do something REALLY stupid.

Yesterday I saw something in other workplace that was too funny not to share.  I was at a small coffee shop that has a large glass pane at its front; it stretches from the floor to the ceiling and it can look like a door at first glance.  The employees had posted a sign on it reading, “this is not a door.”  I asked them if they had a lot of customers who would walk into the window and they said it would happen multiple times a day before they put up the warning sign.*  This would be funny enough to watch and walking into a glass pane would definitely be a stupid move, but most of us wouldn’t really judge you beyond laughing since accidents do happen; besides, we all have done something equally mindless and embarrassing.

However, the employees added that their main motivation for putting up the sign was due to the occasional flustered glass-smasher who would further humiliate himself by blaming the coffee shop afterward.  “This is unbelievable!  How was I supposed to know it’s not a door?  You guys should really put a door right here!  I’m going to call your owner and give him a piece of my mind!”  Of course, anyone in the shop who didn’t see him face-plant into the glass was now aware that he just did so after he announced his indignation at the top of his lungs.  Supposedly one (in all likelihood former) customer even threatened to sue.

The moral of the story is:  if you make an ass out of yourself while shopping, don’t blame the employees or the store.  It’s YOUR fault.  Causing a scene and trying to shift the blame just makes you look obtuse since no one else believes you’re a victim.

Businesses are out to get you with deceptive doors.

*Apparently it did happen one time after they put up the sign.  The customer bumped into the glass and then testily scolded them that they should put up a warning sign before someone got hurt.

Being perky comes with the territory of working in retail. It’s not so much that I’m being fake; it’s just that most people would rather be helped by someone who is friendly and upbeat instead of someone who is jaded and crabby.

However, that does not give you the liscense to openly mock me back by mimicking me in an exaggerated manner. It doesn’t make you funny or clever; it makes you a douche. Does it make you feel good to treat people who can’t defend themselves like crap? Do you miss being the junior high bully?

Now I get to have the last laugh. See, I won’t help you now. I get to watch you frantically look for something that’s sitting right in front of your face. Too bad you’re too stupid to find it in your own.

 8. Think before you speak.

Me:  “Hello, what can I help you find today?”
Customer:  “I’m looking for something I know you guys don’t even carry anymore.”

I just don’t know how to respond to these types of customers.  Did she expect me to magically pull whatever she was looking for out of my ass?  All I could manage was an, “oh…I see,” but I guess that’s much better than asking her back if she ever powers up her brain before opening her mouth.  Besides, I already know the answer to that is a resounding no.

7. Stay out of the doorway.

Next time you walk into a store, look above or at the sides of the doorway. See that small box with a blinking light? That’s called a traffic counter. It counts every person who walks through the door and calculates a store’s conversion by dividing the number of transactions by the number of traffic. Most businesses are absolutely obsessed with conversion; they think that each person who walks through the door will do so only once and has the potential to purchase something. Most people with average reasoning skills can realize how illogical this is, but then again I have a theory that most businesses are run by chimps.

So please don’t come into our store four times before you decide to buy something. I know you’re only one person but our company considers you to be four potential customers at this point. And don’t bring in your two other friends when you need to make a return; they can wait outside for you. If you really need to drag your husband shopping, don’t let him awkwardly stand in the doorway since his rocking back and forth makes it look like I’m doing my best to offend potential customers instead of meet their needs in the moronic eyes of my company. Please don’t hang out in the doorway on your cellphone, I know it’s “quieter” but you’re really screwing with our store’s numbers for the hour. And you may think it’s cute that your kid keeps running in and out of the door, but guess what? My company counts him as a potential paying customer each time he passes the threshold.

It’s a ridiculous idea, but apparently my Regional Manager doesn’t consider it to be when she comes in screaming. In the retail world, low conversion obviously must mean we’re too busy trying to fit our heads up our own asses instead of attending to customers. So please be more considerate when walking into a store. Something that small and simple transforms my Regional Manager into a banshee and can ultimately cost me my job.

Conversion: worst idea since The Holocaust.

Some of you think the phrase, “can’t you just look it up in the system?” can persuade us to access our all-powerful and all-knowing database that keeps track of every single piece of information that has ever been relevant to our company in the history of time.  I’m sure our company bigwigs would be flattered, but such a system does not exist.  Our “system” (if one could call it that) is about as technologically advanced as a Windows 3.0 computer hooked up to Usenet and I’m sure we’re better off than many retail businesses out there.  If you want a cutting edge “system”, go to the Apple Store; you won’t find it here.

So no, we can’t look up your gift card in our “system”.  I don’t know how that would be possible even with the Apple Store’s technology since gift cards aren’t linked to personal information.  Repetitively insisting that I look it up in our “system” isn’t going to change the fact that what you’re asking is completely absurd.  Now, by chance did you happen to memorize that sixteen digit number on the back and the three digit pin?  No?  Sorry, there’s nothing I can do for you.

Hi, I’m a gift card and I’m not in the “system”.

5. Keep your ridiculous requests to a minimum.

Me:  “M’am, I’m really sorry but we’re all sold out of the product you’re looking for.  Now we have a few options–“

Customer:  “Can you look it up in your computers and see if another store has it?

Me:  Yeah right, as if our company would ever realize we’ve left the 80s and implement an electronic inventory. “We actually don’t have a way to look it up.  What I can do is call a couple of our stores nearby.”

[I call a few of our local stores and fortunately one about 10 miles away has what the customer has requested.]

Me:  “Our store in ________ has some in stock.  I had the associate put one on hold for you under your name.  Just ask for Andrew, he knows you’ll be coming by.  Do you need directions and the store’s phone number?”

Customer:  “Well, can’t you go pick it up and bring it here for me?”

Me:  Wait…what. “I’m sorry, I can’t actually do that.”

Customer:  “Why not?”

Me:  Because what you’re buying is only $6 and it would cost me more in gas money?  Because it would take me about two hours right now thanks to rush hour traffic?  Because the company would not reimburse me for making the drive?  Because that’s absolutely ridiculous? “It’s against company policy and I’m the only person in the store right now.  If you really don’t want to make the drive, you can always make the purchase online and have it shipped to your house.”

Customer:  “You guys have done it for me before.  Sarah at _________ went to _________ and brought me what I needed last January.”

Me:  ???  There’s no way she did that for you. “If she did do that she went against company policy.  And besides, those two stores are a five minute walk from each other.  If you want I can give her a call and ask her if she did do that since I know she’s at work today.”

Customer:  “No no no, don’t do that.  I don’t think I want it anymore.  Whatever happened to good customer service?  You guys are horrible; I’m never shopping here again!”

There’s no way in hell I’ll drive to pick something up for you.

4. Don’t expect to make impossible returns.

I don’t care how much you whine, call me a liar, and threaten to never come back, but I cannot give you cash back when you’re returning something you bought with a credit card.  Don’t try to persuade me that you do it here all the time; you don’t.  Don’t try to convince me that we’re the only store that won’t let you do this; that is complete crap.  No one thought you looked cool when you ripped up your receipt, threw the pieces everywhere, yelled about how much you hate us, and stormed out.

I cannot give you cash back when you don’t have your receipt.  No, I can’t just “trust you.”  No, I don’t care that you would have no use for merchandise credit since apparently you’re a freak of nature who never uses any of the thousands of every day things we sell.  And no, you can’t hang out in the store for fifteen minutes while trying to sell your merchandise credit for cash.  How the hell is that acceptable behavior?

Yelling at me isn’t going to change the fact that the item you’re trying to return is only worth $0.50 now.  Maybe you shouldn’t have waited 2.5 years before getting around to returning it.  No, I don’t believe that you originally bought it for $45; I know for the fact it sold for $25 full price.  No, I don’t believe you just bought it in our store last week since we haven’t had this item for over a year now.

I don’t make the rules so stop acting like I’m out to get you.  It’s not like I’m making commission by refusing to do your ridiculous returns exactly how you want them.  Where is this so-called return policy, you smugly demand?  It’s on the front of your receipt, the back of your receipt, next to the cash registers, and online.  Now get the hell out before I tattoo it on your face too.

 

3. Signs are for reading.

You walk into the store, oblivious to the huge posters in the windows and multiple banners hanging inside.  You start looking at your product of choice while ignoring all six of the promotional signs just within your line of vision.  You start complaining loudly to yourself about how the products you want are not on sale.  The salesperson recognizes that it’s probably not your fault that you’re illiterate and explains the promotion that applies to your coveted products.  You still don’t understand.  The salesperson walks you through it three more times, using detailed examples and your desired products as props.  You snap back that maybe they should just put up signs.  The salesperson kindly points out the closest sign, which is sitting at eye level about two feet away.  You attempt to read it over a few more times and complain that you still don’t understand, so a nine-year-old shopping nearby explains it to you.  You’re still confused, so you drop your shopping basket in the middle of the floor and leave the store wondering why they couldn’t just put up a couple of signs.

Reading is way too hard.

2. Finish your sentence.

Don’t answer “can I help you find anything?” with “yeah, I’m uhh, [unintelligible mumble] mmm…”  Is that a yes?  A no?  Now you’re just staring at me blankly and I have no idea what to do.  I don’t want to interrupt you just in case you’re eventually going to finish your sentence.  I don’t want to make you irate just because you presume what came out of your mouth was coherent.  Or maybe you forgot I was even talking to you?  The awkwardness of this encounter is excruciating.

Also, don’t do the trail-off while walking away from me.  Are you wanting me to follow you or are you going to snap at me when I try to figure out if what you were mumbling was intended for me or oh, maybe say for your purse?  Of course, you were talking to your purse.  I should’ve known.

Is this seriously how you communicate with most people?  If so, I can’t imagine how you’ve managed to function up to this point.

1. Stop sniffing the packaging.

Don’t hold a sealed product up to your nose, take a deep whiff, and then complain that you can’t smell anything.  Of course you can’t smell it; IT’S CALLED PACKAGING.

Or worse yet, don’t tell me that it smells like plastic and not “Island Tropics” as labeled.  Really?  Unopened plastic packaging smells like plastic?  Have all of those pthalates you’ve inhaled eaten away at your brain?

Next time you go into a store, try opening something before you smell it and make an insightful comment.  The salespeople may certify you as a genius on the spot.

Apparently it’s much more difficult than it looks.

 

Sourced from retailpolice.wordpress.com