The Weirdest Walmart Criminals
Actual WALMART Crimes (So Creepy You’ll Never Want to Go There Again…)
#1 Man Implants
Look, Jeremy Owens…this is a free country and everything…and you can get breast implants if you want…but please don’t go flashing them at Walmart shoppers. First of all, that’s a REALLY confusing (takes 2 seconds to register that it’s not gross). And second, PLEASE don’t spit blood at the police when they arrest you! OR…Maybe just don’t walk around with a mouth full of blood ready to go!
It’s too bad. He had so much going for him…like that sweet, sweet rack.
#2 Something Soft on Her Back
In Lawrenceville, Georgia, this Se>< offender ejactulated on a Walmart employee. He purposely knocked over several clothes in order to get her into a position where he could do this thing (for whatever sick reason).
According to the incident report, “when she felt something soft land on her back. (She) said that she looked up, and saw a tall black male dressed in all black walking away quickly wiping his hands on his clothes.”
#3 Terrifying Trend
Another man (unidentified) ejaculated onto at least two different women on 2 separate occasions at a Walmart in Farmington, N.M. in 2013. Although he was caught on camera, he was never identified.
#4 Deadly Dollars
In Crawford, Florida, 61 year-old Mary Frances Alday was so furious that she couldn’t use her dollar-off coupon that she went to her car and grabbed a gun. Maybe she thought it would be more convincing, but you know how company policy is. Rules are rules, right?
#5 Timothy Clark’s Charity
This one may not involve bodily fluids but think about this, somewhere out there…there are people that think shoplifting at a Wal-Mart store DURING a “Shop With A Cop” charity event. The scary part is, he can’t be the only one that dumb.
#6 Shop ‘Til Your Pants Drop
Verdon Taylor got himself arrested for allegedly (like how we use that word? Wink!) stripping down to his birthday suit in the middle of a Walmart parking lot. Then he walked inside, put some socks on and got on with his shopping. He was tased eventually, EVEN THOUGH he was probably just shopping for a new birthday suit. You can’t win with these cops!