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Retail Survival 12 Types Of Customers You’ll Encounter This Holiday

This is 40/Universal Pictures

For years, I have sold computers in big box retail. While I see a wide array of customer stereotypes throughout the entire year, the holiday season brings them out, full throttle.

Dealing with certain customers can be difficult at times, but retail workers cope with it, roll with the punches and move on with a smile that never falters in the face of consumerism.

Whether you’re the customer or an associate dealing with the customer, much can be learned from the nature of shopping. Here are many of the consumers you may witness, whether you are one, or you’re the one working for them:

1. The “I just want to get this product and go” customer

The customer just wants to grab the item and ring out as quickly as possible. No protection plans, no questions, no nothing!

Advice for the Customer:

What many customers fail to understand is that Walmart is probably the only big box retail store where the expectation is to grab and go.

At any other store, such as Best Buy, HHGregg or Sears, it’s the employee’s job to ask questions to enhance the experience. So, before you cut them off, let them do their job.

Advice for the Employee:

Never falter! While you can certainly speed up your process to get the customer out the door, never cease to do your job. If a customer complains, it’s whatever. A manager isn’t going to be mad at you for providing quality customer service.


2. The “just looking, I don’t need any help” customer that needs help two seconds later

Yes, we’ve all been there. We ask customers if they need help finding anything or if they have any questions, and they shoo us away, saying they’re “just looking.”

As we begin to walk away, they have an “aha!” moment that, yes, they do have questions.

Advice for the Customer:

Don’t be so quick to the defense if you’re going to ask questions immediately after declaring you don’t need help.

Advice for the Employee:

Ask open-ended questions that don’t set you up for the “just looking” opportunity. Like, “What brings you in today?” Or, a conversation question like, “How is the weather? I’ve been here all day.”

Customers are more likely to let you build trust if you’re sincere in your interactions.


3. The doesn’t-speak-English customer

We spend the next 15 to 20 minutes trying to hunt someone down who can translate for us.

Advice for the Customer:

Be patient.

Advice for the Employee:

Be patient.


4. The “price-match this obscure seller” customer

Most retailers offer a price-match guarantee now. A lot of customers feel like they can hop on eBay or Amazon.com and just find any seller who has a listing to do the price match. But, it doesn’t work like that.

Advice for the Customer:

For retailers to honor a price match, it typically needs to be a local retailer with a verified ad, or in some cases, Amazon.com, as long as it’s an item fulfilled by Amazon.

Advice for the Employee:

Explain the store policy and the added benefits of shopping with your business.


5. The customer who wants to know all the details but has no idea what any of it means

How fast is this computer? Nine times out of 10, the number I regurgitate to the customer means absolutely nothing to him or her. What this customer wants to know is whether it’s fast or not — period. You get these types of questions all the time.

Advice for the Customer:

Before you ask a question, try to know what answers you’re seeking out. Sometimes, the question you present for the associate isn’t always the one you’re looking to ask.

Advice for the Employee:

Try finding analogies to translate tech lingo for novices. I will often compare AMD and Intel processors to Dodge and Chevy engines when asked which is better.

Brand-wise, it comes down to preference because, ultimately, they both perform the same function; maybe you know someone who’s had better experience with one over the other. Performance wise, it just comes down to which model you’re looking at.


6. The know-it-all customer

This is the customer who comes into the department and acts as if he or she knows more than every single employee, and is a complete jerk about it.

And, then, to top it off, he or she says something completely ignorant like, “This computer doesn’t have as big of a hard drive.

It only has 4GB, and the other one has 6GB,” failing to recognize the difference between RAM and a hard drive, ultimately making you want to bang your head against the counter.

Advice for the Customer:

Stop it! Who are you trying to impress? There’s no need for you to hold your knowledge over anyone else’s head, and it looks even worse if the associate can see through it.

Advice for the Employee:

If it’s not affecting your ability to close a sale, then don’t bother trumping this customer. You should always present the real facts so the customer is able to make the most informed decision possible, but, as tempting as it is to make them feel like an idiot, make sure you tread lightly on how you approach.


7. The indecisive customer

This is the customer who makes the employee grab three different versions of the same item because he or she can’t decide on a color. Thanks a lot, Apple.

Advice for the Customer:

When it comes to things like color preference, try to have your mind made up ahead of time.

Advice for the Employee:

Suggest a choice for the customer, and personalize it to his or her needs and/or wants.


8. The self-entitled customer

“I’m buying a lot of things today, can’t you give me a discount?” Hundreds of customers come through those doors spending thousands of dollars every day, and then, you have the one customer who thinks he or she is the exception.

Advice for the Customer:

Retail doesn’t operate that way. Unless it’s a price match or a coupon, customers don’t get discounts at their leisure, so stop begging.

Advice for the Employee:

Explain the store policy. If the customer asks to speak with a manager or someone in charge, just say,

I’m in charge of this transaction at the moment, and while I can certainly call the store manager over to address your concerns, I can assure you the answer will be the same.

That said, if you still want to speak with a manager, it’ll be a couple minutes, or I can get you taken care of right away at your convenience.

If the customer insists, let him or her talk it over with a manager. It’s the customer’s time. Just make sure you are aligned with your manager on the same ideals.


9. The anti-Windows 8 customer

Do you guys have Windows 7 computers still?

Whether it’s Walmart, Best Buy or HHG, the question is still asked. And, the answer is still no; we do not carry computers with Windows 7 installed in-store.

Advice for the Customer:

It’s a new day and age, friend. Technology is inevitably changing, and retail stores are paid to adapt. You’ll just have to come to terms with that.

Advice for the Employee:

Art of the demo. Show the customer the value of the new operating system, and how it can be used to enhance his or her experience.


10. The creepy, but welcomed regular customer

This customer never buys anything. He or she might talk to us, just roam around, or maybe just use one the computers for personal use. This customer wanders aimlessly, but harmlessly.

Advice for the Customer:

Keep doing what you’re doing — no harm, no foul. Just don’t ask for my phone number or send me flowers.

Advice for the Employee:

Leave ‘em be. You get used to it.


11. The high expectations, low investment customer

This person wants a gaming computer, but only wants to spend $300. Really?

Advice for the Customer:

We live in “get what you pay for” world. If an item is the cheapest one among all the other ones comparable, you should be asking yourself why it is cheaper, and what you can get for the money you have to spend.

Advice for the Employee:

Full disclosure: Always be real with your customers. If you try to bullsh*t them, they’re going to return their purchases, anyway.


12. The “where is all the help?” customer

The customer has been waiting a solid five minutes to get some help, impatiently tapping his or her foot, and prodding the associate to hurry up with the current customer so he or she can finally get some help.

Advice for the Customer:

Slow down. Understand that companies have labor budgets, and we don’t make the schedule. So, instead of making our jobs more difficult to try and make your life easier, why don’t you just step back and smile while we try to get to everyone as quickly as possible?

Advice for the Employee:

While it would be nice to get to that grumpy customer quicker, don’t rush yourself in a way that is going to cheat the customer you’re working with already.

The best way to handle a high traffic scenario is to address the people waiting, but continue to work with the customer in front of you. Say something like,

Ma’am, we’ll be right with as soon as possible. Here’s a copy of our ad, and a list of our services you can glance at while I finish up with this customer. Thank you for being so understanding.

When you acknowledge and appreciate your customers, they are more likely to be patient with you.

There are probably several other kinds of customers not listed here. Which distinguished customer group have you helped this year? Below, in the comments section, share your experience or story.

 

Sourced from elitedaily.com

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The 8 Worst Types Of Retail Employees

8. THE ELITIST PRICK
worst employees funny
WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM: Bike Shops, Indie Music Stores, Gourmet Coffee Shops
Self-satisfied and pompous, this employee thinks the contents of his little store are the be-all and end-all of humanity. If you don’t purchase the one thing that this clerk deems acceptable, he will look down his nose at everything you do (despite the fact that what you just purchased, is sold in the same store this clerk works in).

YOU: I’d like to buy this “Dinosaur Jr. Best Of” CD

ELITIST PRICK: Tss. Why buy a Best Of? If you really like them, why not buy all their records?

YOU: I’m a fan of theirs, but I don’t know if I want to buy all their…

ELITIST PRICK: So you just like the “popular” hits?  You don’t deserve to be a Dinosaur Jr. fan. You should probably just listen to Top 40.

YOU: Top 40? Why do you sell this CD if you hate it so much?

ELITIST PRICK: I just work here, man. My boss buys this shit so he can cash in on you fairweather nancy boys. You want me to get you a Boyz II Men CD to go with this?

YOU: No.

ELITIST PRICK: You make me sick. Is that a Sonic Youth shirt?

YOU: Yeah, I love th…

ELITIST PRICK: We don’t sell any Sonic Youth “Greatest Hits” records here. Sorry.

YOU: But, I own everything…

ELITIST PRICK: Get out of my store.

7. THE STONER
WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM: Target, Baskin Robbins, SearsYou’ll know when you’ve run into this employee because when you ask him if they carry cotton undershirts, he’ll stare at you for several silent seconds. Then giggle, as if you presented him with a calculus problem, then fart. The only way to find what you’re looking for is to begin questioning him like you’re a cop on Law & Order and he’s a teenage girl who¹s just witnessed a rape.

YOU: I’m looking for picture frames.

STONER: Uh…

YOU: Picture frames. I know you know where they are. Just give me something to go on.

STONER: I ha, prolly like, past those soft things then go around the curvy part I think.

YOU: Soft things? Pillows?  What curvy part?  I need you to be more specific.

STONER: I don’t know, dude, just like, you know that one part.  I dunno.

YOU: You do know!  You can do this!  Come on!

6. THE CONSTANT CHECK-IN
funny worst employees
WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM: Macy’s, Saks, Kiehls

I’m buying jeans, not going into cardiac arrest, therefore I don’t need someone coming up to me every thirty seconds asking if everything is okay.  Every time you touch anything in the store he reacts as if you’re a retarded child wandering through a grenade factory.

(You’re looking at a pair of jeans)

CHECK IN: Everything okay?

YOU: Yeah, just looking.

(CHECK IN moves away, you pick up a pair of jeans)

CHECK IN: Here, let me help you with that, those can be tricky.

YOU: No, that’s okay I can hold these jeans myself.  These jeans aren’t that tricky.

(You put away those jeans and grab a new pair)

CHECK IN: See here’s the thing about those jeans, they’re “straight legged.” The legs on them are just straight, they don’t bow out.

YOU: I figured that, since they were underneath a sign that said “straight leg.”

CHECK IN: Those signs can be tricky, let me help you with that.

 

5. THE HIDER
funny worst employees
WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM:  In the dark, remote corners of the big-box stores like Walmart and Target.
Finding this employee is like finding one of those missing children on the back of milk boxes: It rarely happens and if you do, they¹re usually confused and non-sensical.  The Hider has managed to find one spot in the store that the manager never checks, and to which customers rarely venture.
If you happen to come across a hider, and have the nerve to ask them for some assistance, they¹ll avoid helping you as much as they possibly can.

YOU: Excuse me, can you help me find the—

(Hider begins walking away as if he didn’t hear you)

YOU: Excuse me, do you work here?

HIDER: Um…yeah. (continues walking)

YOU: So, Can you help me find-

HIDER: This isn’t my department, sorry.

YOU: …I didn”t tell you what I was looking for.

HIDER: What are you looking for.

YOU: T-shirts.

HIDER: Yeah, not my department.

 

4. THE TEENAGE GIRL
teen girl funny employee
WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM: Nordstrom Rack, Hot Topic, Anywhere they want 20% off.She spends the entirety of the day texting on her phone, and if you interrupt her to ask her for any kind of help, she’ll make a face like you just pulled your pants down and took a shit in front of her.  Then with the hand she’s holding the phone with, she’ll point to whatever direction someone else is in that can help you, and describe what they look like by declaring what physical imperfection they have.

YOU: Hi, I’m looking for a pair of new balance shoes.

TEENAGE GIRL:  (doesn’t look up from texting) Um, yeah, I don’t know.

(pause while she continues to text)

YOU: Um, do you know someone who might know?

TEENAGE GIRL: * SIGHS * Yeah, go over there and ask that older lady with the zits on her face. She’ll know.

3. THE ACTOR

funny worst employees

WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM:  Any mainstream retail store within 10 miles of a high school or college campus.

At first glance, The Actor (usually a young female) seems like a normal employee.  In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.  The Actor is merely playing the part of a sane, pleasant, helpful model employee.  She’s an actor. That’s what she does.  Unfortunately, this gives you, the customer, a false sense of security, because you think you’re dealing with a normal human being.  Then you make the mistake of saying something that remotely resembles the lyrics of a popular Broadway Musical, and chaos ensues:

HER: Hello, customer!  How was your shopping experience today?

YOU: It was pretty good. Some old lady almost fell down on the hardware aisle, though.

HER: Fell? Due to gravity?

(begins enthusiastically singing a song from the hit Broadway Musical “Wicked”)

I’m flying high!…Defying Gravity!
And no wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring! Me! Down!

YOU:………what?

HER:  (begins enthusiastically signing a song from the Musical The Music Man) He’s a what? He’s a what? He’s a music man! Wheredaya get em? Whaddaya talk?

YOU: oh, shit.

2. THE 401KERS
funny worst employees
WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM: Wal-Mart, Airport Security, The Mall, McDonald’s
After putting in over 40 years in the workplace, this employee retired a couple years ago, planning on spending his or her golden years kicking back and relaxing. Then, after realizing that their economically annihilated 401k would now only get them through the summer, they have to go back into the workforce and take a job anywhere that would hire a recently retired 67-year-old. Old people are bitter as it is. Old people who used to have decent jobs, but are now forced to sweep up around the Sunglass Hut at the mall instead of watching Wheel of Fortune all day long are reeeeeaallly bitter.

YOU: Excuse me, is there a Chess King in this mall?

401KER: You think I give a shit about a Chess King, sonny? I used to be the regional sales manager of NCR. I had five salesman under me.

YOU: That’s…good?

401KER: Damn right it is. What the hell did you ever manage? Back in ’95, my team pushed through 2.6 million in sales in one quarter. ONE QUARTER!  No one had ever seen that before.

YOU: That’s awesome. I was just looking for the Chess King.

401KER: Chess King? I was the goddamn Sales King! Now I have to vacuum up around the Orange Julius just so I don’t have to live under an overpass. Where’s your chess king now, boy?

YOU: I’m going to go stand over there.

1. THE COMPLETE MORON
funny worst employees
WHERE YOU’LL FIND THEM: Kinko’s, Starbucks, Target
From time to time, you’ll come across a store employee who resembles a lobotomized grapefruit. No matter what question you ask this employee, you’re met with a blank stare, a gaping mouth and silence. If this person was technically handicapped, you could cut them some slack and understand his or her inability to communicate thoughts and ideas. But this person is just the lower end of stupid.
YOU: Hey, do you know where the dish soap is?
COMPLETE MORON: Huh?
YOU: The dish soap? Do you know which aisle it’s in?
COMPLETE MORON: ….
YOU: Dish soap? For washing dishes? Do you know where it is?
COMPLETE MORON: Dish soap?
You: Yeah…dish soap. Dish. Soap. Soap for dishes.
COMPLETE MORON:  Don’t know.
YOU: You don’t know what it is or if you have it?
COMPLETE MORON: Dish soap?
Sourced from holytaco.com
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By

11 Things Your Salesperson Wishes You Knew

If you’re anything like us, you spend a lot of time shopping and interacting with salespeople, so we figured we would take a moment to discuss the not-so-obvious ways you might be annoying, irking, or otherwise ruining a sales associate’s day, as well as the things you can do to make their job just a bit easier.

We asked retail veterans from Madewell, Victoria’s Secret, and more for a peek into their world—scroll on to take a surprising walk in your salesperson’s shoes.

  • 1 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Sebastian Kim

    “It’s frustrating when you spend a lot of time assisting someone, and the customer knows they aren’t going to buy anything, but they put something on hold just to be nice and pretend all our hard work isn’t for naught. If you’re not feeling any of the items you tried on, just tell us up front. I promise we can take it.”

  • 2 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Craig McDean

    “Don’t buy outfits for your wedding party or fancy occasion and return it all at the same store. We had this couple buy dresses and dress shirts for their whole wedding party and try to return them a week later, worn, and with no tags. We’re not a rental store, and we’re onto you.”

  • 3 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Sebastian Kim

    “The store I work at has a sensor at the door to see how many people come in, and at the end of the day they compare the number of customers to our sales performance. So it makes us cringe when the same person hangs out by the door and sets off the sensor multiple times or wanders in and out of the store, because it falsely looks like we had more customers than we did, which makes it appear that we had proportionally lower sales numbers.”

  • 4 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Tim Walker

    “If you let your salesperson know what you are taking and they bring it to the register for you, it is easier for them to get credit for the sale.”

  • 5 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Mark Pillai

    “I never like it when customers think they deserve special treatment or can evade sales policies. It’s frankly uncomfortable when people ask for a discount as if we’re at the flea market.”

  • 6 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Sebastian Kim

    “Nothing is sadder than seeing a pile of shirts you had just painstakingly folded five minutes ago get thrown apart in a tornado-like fashion. I would much rather have the customer come to me and ask me for a specific item or size, which I can delicately extract from the folded pile and hand to them, instead of blindly dig through the wrong pile and leave it looking like a war zone. We have very specific standards of how shirts need to be folded, so even if you try to put it back nicely, we likely have to redo it.”

  • 7 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: David Vasiljevic

    “It’s the most annoying thing ever when customers linger after the store is closed, because the whole store has to wait for them to leave before we can go. Plus, our hours are staggered, so you never actually get paid for overtime.”

  • 8 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Sebastian Kim

    “You know what’s awkward? Conflicts about which salesperson gets the commission. Help us avoid that by getting help from a single salesperson rather than having multiple people assist you.”

  • 9 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Tim Walker

    “We know when you’re a stylist pulling clothes for a shoot that you’re just going to return. A lot of stores have stylist programs; please use them, because it hurts the company when you don’t.”

  • 10 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Mario Testino

    “You don’t have to perfectly hang everything up, but at least make an effort. This is not your bedroom, and we are not your mother.”

  • 11 of 11
    11 Things Your Sales Person Wishes You Knew

    PHOTO: Ina Lekiewicz

    “It’s easy to get exasperated when customers talk on their phone while shopping, especially when they expect to be helped while carrying on their conversation.”

    Have you ever worked in retail? Let us know the things customers did that you liked and that you hated in the comments below!

     

    Sourced from whowhatwear.com

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