18 Irritating People All Retail Workers Meet

If the world was a just place, everyone would have to work in customer service at least once in their life. Because then they would know what it felt like to work in an utterly thankless job, and maybe their experience would change their attitude towards retail and customer service employees. Every job has its downsides, and it’s not like people who work retail have to worry about getting the black lung from working down in the mines all day. But you have to admit, anyone who works in customer service has to deal with more than their share of idiotic human beings. As a wise man once said, this job would be great if it weren’t for the people.

Despite the fact that humans are unique little snowflakes, as soon as they head out into the world to go shopping, they quickly fall into neat little subcategories. There are pleasant shoppers, to be sure — people who are courteous and prompt, who clean up after themselves and make an effort not to make the lives of the workers any harder. But then there are also species upon species of terrible customers who upset the delicate relationship that exists between shopper and retailer.

 

18. The One Who Doesn’t Own a Watch

now-here-this.timeout.com

They stroll leisurely into your store about ten minutes before closing, and browse as though they haven’t got a care in the world. What they don’t seem to realize is that you don’t get to magically leave as soon as the store closes. If you close at 9, you’ll probably be there for at least an hour later. So every minute past closing they spend in the store, that’s one more minute you’re not in bed eating ice cream and watching House of Cards.

 

17. The Slob

realitynation.com

The polite version of The Slob brings the remnants of their lunch into the store and asks if you can throw it out in your garbage can. Fair enough. The impolite version instead designs a cunning treasure hunt, where as you straighten the store for closing you discover a half empty cup of lemonade in one corner, and a Big Mac container hidden among the shoes.

You haven’t ever actually met this person but you hate them a little bit already. They call up wanting to know a specific detail about a product, but because you’re, you know, running a store, you have to put them on hold. You take care of the people in line, get the information for the person, and get back on the line with them. But they are very displeased that you made them wait. “How dare you? I am a doctor, my time is valuable!” (Sadly, that is a direct quote.)

 

14. The Sneeringly Pretentious One

conservatives4palin.com

This person is incredibly proud of the fact that they don’t work retail, and considers everyone who does uneducated, untouchable serfs. They think they don’t need to clean up after themselves because after all, that’s what you’re paid to do, and if you didn’t want to do that, you should have gone to college.

You consider telling them that you actually do have a college degree, it’s just that you’re really attached to food and shelter and it turns out you need money for those things.

13. The One Who Is Positive You Have More In The Back

falfindshappiness.blogspot.com

You don’t. You know this because you’ve been going into the back room several times over the past few hours, under the guise of checking stock, but really just taking a moment to collect yourself so that you avoid breaking something expensive in a fit of rage.

So yes, you have the back room’s stock memorized. Unless they’re looking for a bathroom with several health code violations or a broken mop, whatever this person wants is most definitely not back there.

These people are clearly under the impression that elves clean the store while it’s closed. They pick up things and put them down somewhere else. They purposefully go through racks of clothes and put half the smalls in the larges and half the mediums on the clearance rack. They leave the dressing rooms in such a state that you can only assume they fought off a large bull whilst trying on skinny jeans.

 

11. The One With All The Dad Jokes

wifflegif.com

The really sad part is that they think you haven’t heard these ones before. Oh, the scanner isn’t working? “I guess it’s free!” Yes, because that’s how a free market economy works. Also, no, you are not the first person to tell that joke today. But hey, you have your dad jokes, we have an occasionally debilitating sense of sarcasm, so it all evens out in the end.

 

10. The One Who Thinks This Is A Turkish Bazaar

menknowpause.fooyoh.com

This is not a flea market, or Chinatown, or a crowded street market in the Middle East. What possesses people to think that they can come into corporate America and start haggling? You, as a minimum wage worker, are not in a position to barter with this joker as they try to trade you twelve dollars and a half-eaten bag of Skittles in exchange for your products. It’s like…have you been in a store before?

 

9. The Clueless Shopper

glee.wikia.com

They’re shopping for someone else, and you can only assume this person told them what they wanted through Morse Code. They’re looking for something that’s a light color, with a neckline, and some kind of stuff on the sleeves. Do you have that? Unfortunately, they’re usually not willing to explore, instead depending on you to help them find the illusive item, as they stare wide-eyed as though they’ve never been in a store before.

8. The Con Artist

themuse.com

Look, you and this con artist both know that the item they’re trying to return was absolutely not purchased at your store. You know because you’ve been working there for four years and to the best of your knowledge, Ann Taylor Loft has never sold Scooby Doo purses. But they’re still going to try it, because there’s nothing to lose. Except your valuable time, of course.

 

7. The Cell Phone Addict

yougottaburythat.tumblr.com

You know how some people taught their children that it was rude to talk on a cell phone while checking out at a store unless it was an absolute life and death emergency? Well, some people didn’t, and the result is the cell phone addict. Their conversation is so important that it can’t be halted, not even to exchange paltry pleasantries with the cashier.

What’s really irritating about these encounters is that it makes you into the intruder, and you feel almost like you’re interrupting if, God forbid, you have to ask them a question

This man is irate. Something horrible has gone wrong, and you hope to God it wasn’t your fault. Unfortunately, he’s usually very perturbed about something that is completely out of your control. “What??  You mean I only have 30 days to return this?? And I need a receipt?! You don’t understand, I am a very important customer! I want to speak to your manager!”

This probably isn’t a good time to tell him that you are the manager.

 

4. The Coupon Ninja

vajiggle.tumblr.com

On the one hand, you have to appreciate the time and effort that went into their voracious couponing. They’ve got every offer your store has ever made, including the online codes pulled up and ready to go on their phone. The only problem? Entering in all these codes and scanning the coupons and checking to make sure they’re all still valid takes time.

Woe betide you if you work at a store that makes you manually enter in the discount. The Coupon Ninja may have saved a bundle, but the twelve people in line behind her are less enthused.

3. Complicated Question Karen

says.com

Karen has a knack for asking the type of questions that probably weren’t even covered in your policy manual, and definitely not in your training sessions. She’s a lawyer in her non-shopping life, and she’s not above trying to exploit the loopholes in your store’s corporate policy. Inevitably, her questions will have to go up the chain of command, first to your disgruntled manager, who will spend the better part of his or her afternoon on hold with the corporate office to seek clarification. Karen is content to wait.

 

2. The Pack Of Teenagers

www.lifeinprogress.ca

Don’t they have anywhere else to go? They spend a few hours milling about, making you have to keep a steady eye on them to make sure they’re not shoplifting. Their constant giggling makes you feel like you’re back in high school, and you can’t help but think that they’re laughing at you. The bottom line is, if you’re going to spend two hours in a store, you should at least buy something. Restaurants don’t put up with those kind of shenanigans.

 

1. The One Who Cuts You Off When You Greet Them

s1226.photobucket.com

There is a special circle in hell reserved for this people. You start to say, “Hi, can I –”, but before you can get it all the way out, they wave you off dismissively, saying, “Just looking.” As if they don’t realize (which they probably don’t), that you could get in trouble for not greeting customers in the proper way. You don’t like it any more than they do. They should have the decency to let you get through your spiel so that you can both get on with your lives.

Sourced from whatculture.com