39 Devastating Moments In The Life Of A Barista

2. When a customer thinks you’re sexually attracted to them just because you asked for their name.

Dude, I literally have to ask for my job. Not because I want to bone you.

6. When someone orders “two shots of espresso over ice, but in a medium cup” and you know they’re going to go fill up their cup with free milk from the condiment bar.

7. When someone takes the sugar or chocolate powder from the condiment bar and keeps it on their table as if its their own personal sugar just for them.

8. When you spot the impatient person in the back of the queue who you know is going to be a total dick.

10. When someone orders a non-fat, sugar-free drink and then orders a lemon drizzle muffin.

13. When a customer reaches over the counter to grab something instead of asking.

Sure, it’s not like your hands are disgusting or anything. Please. Touch all of the straws.

14. When you spot someone shoving a giant handful of sugar packets into their handbag.

15. Trying not to laugh when someone does this while asking for a “sleeve jacket thing” for their drink.

16. When someone orders a “venti” coffee but you’re not a Starbucks.

18. When people straight up invent drink names: “Hello yes I’d like a grande Mocha Jetachinno.”

YOU WANT A WHAT?

19. When a customer is on their mobile, and actually puts up a finger to shush when you dare ask what they want.

20. Trying to make a drink but you can feel a customer watching your every single move.

21. And then you fuck it up because they made you nervous.

22. When a customer tells you an exact temperature they want their milk steamed to.

“A large, soya, chai tea latte at 143 degrees.”

23. When anyone orders “half-caf”.

25. And then when someone asks for a discounted refill with a cup you know has been sitting in their car for three weeks.

26. This exchange: “Here’s a large, decaf, cappuccino for Sandra!” “Is it decaf?” “YES.”

28. When a customer leans over the counter and says these dreaded words: “The men’s toilet is blocked.”

29. When anyone rearranges the furniture for their “meeting”.

30. When someone can’t connect to the WiFi and you’re suddenly IT support.

31. When someone thinks it’s appropriate to bring in McDonalds and casually eat it with their coffee.

Oh sure. Just do whatever.

36. Or claims their croissant was “stale” despite eating the entire thing and demands a refund.

37. When a dodgy regular gives you their number.

38. When you’re out in public after your shift and you overhear someone saying they can smell coffee, and you know it’s you.

Hang in there, baristas of the world. We know it’s tough.